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Dat_Mango January 22nd, 2014 02:09 PM

Do I really suffer from OCD?
Hum...hi, I just needed a nice forum with people my age who can give me some help and/or advice.

So, several bad things occurred in my life lately and since everything was so fast and almost at the same time, I think that might have triggered some anxiety issues and a slight hypochondria. Now I don't really care much about being stressed or physical diseases but there are these awful intrusive and obssessive thoughts. I can't get rid of them and that makes me even more anxious. It's kinda similar to when I thought I had deadly diseases. For example, a few days ago I thought "Hey, how come don't I find the idea of kissing a girl as disgusting as I should? Maybe it's normal, right? Hormones and stuff...I mean, a few hours ago I was talking to my friends about cute guys. But what if I'm a lesbian? Oh my god, I'm a lesbian! I don't wanna be like that!" and I got really scared and anguished 'cause I thought that I could change my sexuality over night (please note that I don't have any kind of aversion to homossexual people but I like being straight). Since then I've been looking to girls and guys differently and convincing myself that I was a lesbian, even though I know I'm not. I'm affraid of having physical contact with females 'cause I don't want to feel anything but I avoid touching males 'cause I fear not feeling a thing. Another good example could be what happened 1 or maybe 2 hours ago. I was reading about gay OCD (I suspect that might be what I have) and I discovered there are more kinds of sexual related intrusive thoughts. One that really caught my attention was this thing in which people fear that they might be attracted to children, and guess what? I gained a new irrational fear...again. So, I'm basically a minor and now I kinda fear being attracted to children. Awesome, huh? And finally, two more habits or rituals or whatever you feel like calling them: pressing both mouse buttons relaxes me somehow and sometimes I can't help brushing my teeth twice for some reason.
It's relatively easy for me to control physical actions but when it comes to thoughts, fears, anxiety etc it's very difficult and the most I try to forget them or distract myself the worse it is, but if I don't do anything they won't go away as well. I currently fear almost everything, I fear the fear itself, I'm getting sad and depressed. I don't wanna tell this to my psychologist, it's really embarrassing to me, but I need help at the same time. What do you think? Should I tell someone? Is it just a phase? Will that eventually pass? When I feel relaxed and manage to forget I realize that and it comes back, sometimes worse. I know it's irrational and I get mad at myself for being unable to control it and sometimes I don't even know if I'm insane.

Thanks for reading :)

PS: Now my biggest fear is being transgender and today I realized that I like to have the doors either closed or completely opened and I also wear same tone clothes, for example: I hate using dark brown shoes with light brown shirts or even belts.
I don't know if it's just an habit or OCD

Sirham February 24th, 2014 11:27 PM

Re: Do I really suffer from OCD?
I believe you do have OCD. I'm no expert in psychology, however. But from what you say these are all tell-tale symptoms. The recent stress in your life it might have stirred things up.

With the "Gay OCD", don't let yourself get worked up over it. It's just in your head. Don't worry.

With the mouse clicking, that sounds like me. I do a lot of repetitive things that drive everyone else nuts but I can't stop.

So I'd say that whatever else seems like more than just a habit is linked to your OCD.

But hey. At least you aren't like me and have almost every symptom on the list. I tell you this not to get sympathy but to make you feel better in know that things could be worse.

Just keep calm and carry on. Don't let things get to you and stayed relaxed. You can talk to me anytime if you want. I've been a lifelong sufferer :)

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