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-   -   Have you ever been sexually abused? (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=200797)

Pulp501 January 14th, 2014 10:55 PM

Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
Just wondering if anyone out there has been molested. On here, you can't go into detail, but if you did just say how old you were who did it, do you think about it?

LouBerry January 14th, 2014 11:22 PM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pulp501 (Post 2651620)
Just wondering if anyone out there has been molested. On here, you can't go into detail, but if you did just say how old you were who did it, do you think about it?

I'd rather not say anything about it, other than I think about it every day. Every single day.

AlexOnToast January 15th, 2014 04:25 AM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
12, a "friend", sometimes.

Abyssal Echo January 15th, 2014 04:47 AM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
5 1/2 by a neighbor, sometimes

CostumerServiceGuy January 15th, 2014 05:17 AM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
No, but my mom was 'nearly' raped.

Pulp501 January 15th, 2014 02:43 PM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LouBerry (Post 2651641)
I'd rather not say anything about it, other than I think about it every day. Every single day.

I feel you man, I think about it often......without telling you what happened my last name triggers the memory so yeah I'm constantly reminded.

Etcetera January 15th, 2014 02:48 PM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LouBerry (Post 2651641)
I'd rather not say anything about it, other than I think about it every day. Every single day.

This.

connorftw January 16th, 2014 05:49 AM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
i was 8. im just going to say a bad person. i think about it everyday. no matter how hard i try i cant forget. i still have nightmares about it sometimes

sixguy6 January 16th, 2014 07:46 AM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
12, I forgot her name, and yeah but it doesn't bother me

Katiya January 17th, 2014 09:10 PM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
I think about it a lot even though it was very insignificant. Especially sense other rpeople have went through much much much worse. I don't deserve to feel anything about my megar issue. But I still think of it despite reminding my self I'm selfish for remembering it and being bothered by it.

elmoc January 19th, 2014 09:56 AM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
I was 12 & the predator was the mother of some kids that I babysat. I think whenever penetration is involved, the victim, male or female, has suffered a truly devastating experience.

Katiya January 21st, 2014 02:57 AM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by elmoc (Post 2655930)
I was 12 & the predator was the mother of some kids that I babysat. I think whenever penetration is involved, the victim, male or female, has suffered a truly devastating experience.

No offence but that's kind of implying simple molestation is not as bad and there for should be treated as such when in fact some people are more disturbed by molestation or other abusethan others are of aactually penetrating rape.
I have a friend who was raped, and really it doesn't bother her. I know her well enough that I can say its the truth. Its just not a big deal to her and she claims the emotional abuse by her dad was much worse on her than the rape (buy a guy from college).

Then there are other people who are molested and it destroys their lives. Its got more yo do with the persona feelings about it than the event it self.

For instance you could call me fat all you want and wouldn't give a shit. But another girl might become bulimic over it. Its just personal tolerance.

Once again I'm not saying you ment it that way. Just pointing it out. ;)

uniquesnowflake January 22nd, 2014 10:29 AM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
I was 13 when it happened. They were friends of my best friend. After that they also stalked me and threatened me. It changed me, I'm not the same person.
Some days are better, some days are nightmare. I can't forget, and never will. I'll have to live with that to the rest of my life.

JollyToes January 22nd, 2014 12:11 PM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
Not that I can remember but sometimes I wonder if I was when I was very young due to some thoughts I have

zack.zack January 22nd, 2014 12:49 PM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
I was 5 or 6, it was an older cousin. I think about it a lot and wonder if it has anything to do with my sexuality or sexual issues.:whoops:

Feraligatr January 22nd, 2014 08:59 PM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
I was about a 7 months ago

ECSTASY January 24th, 2014 05:44 AM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
i was 11,an old man when i was at pool tried to . it was really close but i just escaped by understanding him indirectly that my parents are here lol

hoboliz January 24th, 2014 05:46 AM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by elmoc (Post 2655930)
I was 12 & the predator was the mother of some kids that I babysat. I think whenever penetration is involved, the victim, male or female, has suffered a truly devastating experience.

It's not how the violation occurs that is significant. It's the complete loss of autonomy. You are, at the very least, supposed to be secure in your own body, and whether you're penetrated or not, someone takes away that security. It destroys your sense of trust in others.

elmoc January 26th, 2014 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hoboliz (Post 2662585)
It's not how the violation occurs that is significant. It's the complete loss of autonomy. You are, at the very least, supposed to be secure in your own body, and whether you're penetrated or not, someone takes away that security. It destroys your sense of trust in others.

I respect your comments, but disagree. For me, at least, I did not feel a loss of autonomy when she woke me up with my penis in her mouth. At that point, I thought I was the luckiest 12 year old in the world. I felt much more than a loss of autonomy when I was penetrated painfully anally. At that point, I felt completely violated. Having participated in peer group counseling with both males and females that were sexually abused, everyone I have spoken with felt that they were in control of the situation until "NO" was ignored and penetration occurred. Pain changes the dynamics of the relationship immediately.

There are many scholarly studies that support the increased feelings of victimization after penetration in any body cavity- oral, rectal, or vaginal.

I agree 100% with your statement about abuse destroying trust. It is very difficult for me to trust any adult, but especially any female that looks like her, or has similar mannerisms.

BTW, I sincerely do appreciate your comments- and always welcome a vigorous debate,

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katiya (Post 2658679)
No offence but that's kind of implying simple molestation is not as bad and there for should be treated as such when in fact some people are more disturbed by molestation or other abusethan others are of aactually penetrating rape.
I have a friend who was raped, and really it doesn't bother her. I know her well enough that I can say its the truth. Its just not a big deal to her and she claims the emotional abuse by her dad was much worse on her than the rape (buy a guy from college). Thanks for commenting on my statement. I appreciate your viewpoint.
Then there are other people who are molested and it destroys their lives. Its got more yo do with the persona feelings about it than the event it self.

For instance you could call me fat all you want and wouldn't give a shit. But another girl might become bulimic over it. Its just personal tolerance.

Once again I'm not saying you ment it that way. Just pointing it out. ;)


Thanks for commenting on my statement. I appreciate your viewpoint.

Again, I respectfully disagree. Molestation is certainly a traumatic experience, but I admit that I enjoyed the feelings she provided me, even at age 12. This process occurred over 4 months. She eventually did penetrate me rectally, but I will not be specific. The penetration took things to a completely different level of trauma. Many scholarly studies support that statement in both male & female child victims.

As for your friend that was raped & has no problems, I suspect she may be using denial as a coping mechanism. It is much easier to act like it didn't bother you, than to face reality: Your body was penetrated against your will; your ability to trust trust will never be the same. On the other hand, you know her personally, & I am generalizing, based on group therapy sessions with other child/teen victims, and published psychological studies.

I agree with you completely: Different people react differently to various types of inappropriate sexual manipulation. You are right- some people will be devastated by fondling. In my experience, as well as my weekly participation in a therapy group of sexually abused teens, penetration (oral, rectal, or vaginal) multiplies the trauma exponentially.

It isn.t something that can be easily explained, but when the adult takes the molestation from fondling to penetration, the victim feels a complete loss of control of our own bodies.

LifeOfLove January 29th, 2014 12:36 AM

Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?
 
It happened when I was 16, almost two years ago. It was my father. Not a single second has passed since when I didn't think about it.


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