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Aceso December 21st, 2011 08:30 PM

My friend....
 
So a couple of months ago my friend introduced me to this guy, and we soon became fast friends. He has always come across to me as funny, unusual and the kind of guy that stands out a lot. He isn't the cleverest, or the most handsome but there was something I could really relate to him with.
I guess I found out what today. I knew a while back that he had self harmed, tried to kill himself and things like me, and he had told me that he had lived with his grandparents for a few years because he didn't get on well with his parents, but I only found out just why a couple of days ago.
We were in town, and talking about parents. Suddenly he says something like ''You remind me of myself, when your mum went crazy she sounded just like mine.''
I asked him what he ment, and I suddenly he just started pouring himself out to me. He was a 'Mistake', his mother sold herself for a while and when his dad found out she was pregnant with him, he tried to kill her. She would constantly tell him she hated him and he wasn't loved, and when he was 18 months he was fostered as she tried to kill him by neglecting him.
This is only the beginning.
Let's call him K, for now. K's mother has been with lots of men. But I heard one constantly creep up through this. This man threw K through glass, chipboard, beat him almost every day throughout his childhood, strangled, burned and tried to drown him. His mother did not feed him for two months, and the only food he got was what little his friends gave him.
I know this is true because he has the scars to prove it. Ones around his neck where he was strangled, a small scar on his face, old marks on his hands where his stepdad held them down on a radiator. He was blackmailed into not telling anyone, because if he did he would just be beaten more.
From what I gathered his mother and/or stepdad would regularly take drugs and have friends around to take drugs with, and at one point K's mother tried to kill herself in front of him.
The only reason he is still alive today is because they found him after a drug raid one night. His step dad had forcefully injected him with a heroin needle and K was unconscious on the floor, with multiple stab wounds in his arms. (Again, I have seen these wounds and they don't appear to be self harm.)
Anyway his mother went to prison for 3 months. Because K at the time was obviously in shock, trauma and in a very bad state he couldn't tell anyone everything that had happened over the years so they had to go by what they could physically find. K told me that I was the only one who knows everything, and I feel proud of him for telling me because I feel so sick that he went through this.
He currently lives with his grandparents. He's 15. I'm not entirely sure how long he was in this situation for but I feel that an adult should know the full story. I don't want to break his trust and as it has been dealt with I feel that I should not intervene, however I briefly asked my dad for advice as my father and I are close. He agreed with me that the situation has been dealt with it would best not to open old wounds.
I really just want to know how I can support K. He still feels unloved and worthless, and occasionally self harms still. I feel that after everything his case has not been justified, yet it never will if he doesn't ever tell anyone. His stepfather is still out there but again, I have no idea how long ago this all was.
This is such a hard situation to be in, I really want to tell someone but I can't put him in danger or break his trust, I also can't risk him getting hurt again. :(

mustang lover December 21st, 2011 09:34 PM

Re: My friend....
 
Don't tell anyone and don't break his trust. What he needs now is a close friend like you who he can trust and let things out on. You said he's living with his grandparents, so he's safe for now. I would just tuck it away and keep it a secret. There's no need to bring it up if it's all in the past. I wouldn't even consider mentioning it again unless he brings it up or if his mom and step dad come back and it starts all over again. In that case you should get him out and keep him safe.

letluvbleedred December 25th, 2011 12:35 PM

Re: My friend....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mustang lover (Post 1544052)
Don't tell anyone and don't break his trust. What he needs now is a close friend like you who he can trust and let things out on. You said he's living with his grandparents, so he's safe for now. I would just tuck it away and keep it a secret. There's no need to bring it up if it's all in the past. I wouldn't even consider mentioning it again unless he brings it up or if his mom and step dad come back and it starts all over again. In that case you should get him out and keep him safe.

I agree.What u need to do is comfort him. Its over and there's no need to break his trust. If he still was in that situation then it would be a different story. Better to have a friend mad at you than a dead friend.


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