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-   -   bringing me down... (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=190061)

Jman437 August 26th, 2013 05:57 PM

bringing me down...
 
I talked before about majoring in Computer Science. I like that course very much, but I don't think I can do it, I mean, there are too many people putting me down saying "I can't do it", "It's really hard", "Very few make it through", and that brings me down so much(the first one, the last two scare the hell out of me). I'm sick of feeling insecure, fearful and depressed because of these stupid comments! Why can't people be nicer and not this stupid?!

And because of that, I have serious doubts about my future: I don't even know if I can finish college, I don't know what will my future be...

Heagert August 27th, 2013 05:35 AM

Re: bringing me down...
 
I'll say one simple thing : always follow your dreams. They are not you, they have no idea what you're capable of. You're the only person who know what do to, and what is good for you. Don't let them ruin your future. If you want to do that, if you feel that it makes you happy, so do that. And if it's too difficult after, you could say that you tried, and that's what matters. And we don't care what people can say. It's YOUR life.

Mynick August 27th, 2013 07:01 AM

Re: bringing me down...
 
You can finish college. Computer Science is difficult, they are trying to scare you.
Do not pay any attention to what they say, they are not worth it.

Jman437 August 28th, 2013 05:57 PM

Re: bringing me down...
 
I try not to give a damn, but I can't do it, but dammit, I profoundly hate when people say stuff like "It's not for everyone", "It ain't gonna be easy", it successfully scares the hell outta me. I know I'm a pussy and need to change, but hell, why do people say these things?!

Mynick August 29th, 2013 06:48 AM

Re: bringing me down...
 
They say those thing because they most be bored with their own life. Society is stupid.

Living For Love August 29th, 2013 08:48 AM

Re: bringing me down...
 
I also have that problem. I want to study Medicine when I go to university, but some people encourage me and say that I'll do it, others just say that it is very hard and that not everyone can go through it. I don't really know if I can follow that course. I think about it every single day and that leaves me so, so depressed. I guess that if you really focus and ignore the people around you, you'll do it. They know nothing about your abilities, and probably they are teasing you just because you're in that course and you might be able to finish it. My advice is that you concentrate and show them that you are capable of doing it! Show all those ignorant guys you're the man! And when you finish college, make sure you drown them on their own jealousity. Wish you luck.

Jman437 August 29th, 2013 07:36 PM

Re: bringing me down...
 
Thanks to society, now I can't even play a video game without being insecure about my choices... And to add insult to injury, now I can't relax and think of other stuff, can't concentrate properly and I'm one step away from a freaking neurosis! Godammit, why am I like this?!

Versae August 29th, 2013 09:06 PM

Re: bringing me down...
 
Believe in what you can do, not what others think you should do. They're not you.

Poisonberry August 31st, 2013 10:44 AM

Re: bringing me down...
 
Weather you think you can or think you can't you're right.

And society doesn't have any control over you that you don't give it it. Be who you want to be, do what you want to do. If anyone tells you otherwise tell them to live their own life.

Jman437 September 1st, 2013 11:20 AM

Re: bringing me down...
 
I don't know if I can make it, I mean, I tried learning programming at codecademy(a website), but I feel like I may have a learning disability because I can't solve a Javascript problem about a "rock, paper, scissors", and, for what I heard, it is the easiest thing in programming...

I may as well kill myself, I mean, I won't have a future if I don't make it through college... I'll be a cashier, earning 500 euros a month, still living at my parents house...

Poisonberry September 1st, 2013 06:33 PM

Re: bringing me down...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jman437 (Post 2481267)
I don't know if I can make it, I mean, I tried learning programming at codecademy(a website), but I feel like I may have a learning disability because I can't solve a Javascript problem about a "rock, paper, scissors", and, for what I heard, it is the easiest thing in programming...

I may as well kill myself, I mean, I won't have a future if I don't make it through college... I'll be a cashier, earning 500 euros a month, still living at my parents house...

Not everything is the same amount of easy for everyone. I don't even know what javascript is so see you're way ahead of me. I'm sure if you try you can do it, but if you give up then it will never happen.

I'm really new here and don't know how the rules work but personally I think it's very irresponsible to say that you're going to kill yourself. Why would you tell us that? All we can do is feel helpless or bad that we can't help you. If you really feel that way you should look at getting professional help.

Jman437 September 2nd, 2013 03:10 PM

Re: bringing me down...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Poisonberry (Post 2482096)
Not everything is the same amount of easy for everyone. I don't even know what javascript is so see you're way ahead of me. I'm sure if you try you can do it, but if you give up then it will never happen.

I'm really new here and don't know how the rules work but personally I think it's very irresponsible to say that you're going to kill yourself. Why would you tell us that? All we can do is feel helpless or bad that we can't help you. If you really feel that way you should look at getting professional help.

I know it's irresponsible, it's just that my dad always forced me to go to college because it's "the way to go", and with the economic crisis we are facing, it's the most viable way... I want to be financially independent, not some slob living in his parents' house...

Living For Love September 2nd, 2013 03:40 PM

Re: bringing me down...
 
Imagine the amount of people that would give everything to be in university like you, to be taking a degree that would give them the chance to have a stable career in the future. My brother is studying Computer Engeneering in the university and it's been pretty hard for him too, but he never gives up. My parents put a lot of pressure on him so that he as good grades, and although sometimes his exams don't go well, he just keeps going and tries to do better next time. He can be quite annoying sometimes, and he's been through a lot of problems during his life, but he's the most persistent person I've ever met, and I really do like him because of that. If you think in a positive way, I'm sure you will finish university and achieve the financal independence we all teenagers want so much.

Poisonberry September 2nd, 2013 05:48 PM

Re: bringing me down...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jman437 (Post 2483756)
I know it's irresponsible, it's just that my dad always forced me to go to college because it's "the way to go", and with the economic crisis we are facing, it's the most viable way... I want to be financially independent, not some slob living in his parents' house...

Did you not understand what I wrote? Or are you truly that self-centered?

It's messed up to tell people you're going to kill yourself. Period. Your reason why just makes it worse. Many people have really serious problems and feel like suicide is the only way out. I tried and I just can't make "I want to be financially independent" into a problem bad enough to kill yourself over. Maybe it's time to get into therapy.

Jman437 September 3rd, 2013 11:17 AM

Re: bringing me down...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Poisonberry (Post 2484145)
Did you not understand what I wrote? Or are you truly that self-centered?

It's messed up to tell people you're going to kill yourself. Period. Your reason why just makes it worse. Many people have really serious problems and feel like suicide is the only way out. I tried and I just can't make "I want to be financially independent" into a problem bad enough to kill yourself over. Maybe it's time to get into therapy.

And there's another problem... My parents won't take me to therapy because "it's normal to feel anxious"... I tried to convince them but no, they just sent me to psychologists, but I need a psychiatrist, not a freaking psychologist! I have GAD, not that anxiety someone has before a date or a very important event! I'm always anxious, for fuck's sake! I get anxious for every little thing! I can't get my mind off of problems because of it!!! I've been feeling like this since I was a child!!! So you see, I'm not the problem, my parents are, thanks to them, I'm the the anxious, fearful and neurotic person on the planet! And the worst part is they don't realize it will send me on a downward spiral if I don't get a grip on them! They won't even let me take anxiolytics!

it's bad not to be financially independent, it's really bad(there are worse things, like having cancer) it's an expectation for a normal citizen for christ's sake! Getting a college degree, a house, a car, a wife and kids. THESE are things a normal citizen has! I don't want to be a slob living at my parent's house!!! Birds are supposed to leave the nest, not live there until they die!

Living For Love September 3rd, 2013 02:01 PM

Re: bringing me down...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jman437 (Post 2485478)
And there's another problem... My parents won't take me to therapy because "it's normal to feel anxious"... I tried to convince them but no, they just sent me to psychologists, but I need a psychiatrist, not a freaking psychologist! I have GAD, not that anxiety someone has before a date or a very important event! I'm always anxious, for fuck's sake! I get anxious for every little thing! I can't get my mind off of problems because of it!!! I've been feeling like this since I was a child!!! So you see, I'm not the problem, my parents are, thanks to them, I'm the the anxious, fearful and neurotic person on the planet! And the worst part is they don't realize it will send me on a downward spiral if I don't get a grip on them! They won't even let me take anxiolytics!

it's bad not to be financially independent, it's really bad(there are worse things, like having cancer) it's an expectation for a normal citizen for christ's sake! Getting a college degree, a house, a car, a wife and kids. THESE are things a normal citizen has! I don't want to be a slob living at my parent's house!!! Birds are supposed to leave the nest, not live there until they die!


Well, but killing yourself won't solve the problem, right? If your parents are the problem, stop having those negative thoughts about not finishing university and talk to them, explain the situation. If they understand it, good. If they don't, maybe the only way you have to get some medicines is behind their back. I don't know your age, but judging for your avatar I guess you're old enough to make your own decisions and assume the responsabilities of your actions. I don't want to be rude, but I suggest you deal with your problems like a grown up guy you are and stop thinking you're not gonna make it, that only worsens the situation.

Fraser September 3rd, 2013 02:43 PM

Re: bringing me down...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jman437 (Post 2469884)
I talked before about majoring in Computer Science. I like that course very much, but I don't think I can do it, I mean, there are too many people putting me down saying "I can't do it", "It's really hard", "Very few make it through", and that brings me down so much(the first one, the last two scare the hell out of me). I'm sick of feeling insecure, fearful and depressed because of these stupid comments! Why can't people be nicer and not this stupid?!

And because of that, I have serious doubts about my future: I don't even know if I can finish college, I don't know what will my future be...

I encounter a lot of things at school that a lot of other people say "that's really hard" "that's really complicated" and when I try it, I find it super easy. The best thing to remember: those people are not you. Not everyone finds the same things hard and the same things easy.

Jman437 September 4th, 2013 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fraser (Post 2485743)
I encounter a lot of things at school that a lot of other people say "that's really hard" "that's really complicated" and when I try it, I find it super easy. The best thing to remember: those people are not you. Not everyone finds the same things hard and the same things easy.

Me too, you know. It happens a lot, actually, but I'm constantly thinking that one day this will stop happening... The problem is not being hard, the problem is if I can't make it. And I can't even get my mind off of stuff...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ryanair (Post 2485698)
Well, but killing yourself won't solve the problem, right? If your parents are the problem, stop having those negative thoughts about not finishing university and talk to them, explain the situation. If they understand it, good. If they don't, maybe the only way you have to get some medicines is behind their back. I don't know your age, but judging for your avatar I guess you're old enough to make your own decisions and assume the responsabilities of your actions. I don't want to be rude, but I suggest you deal with your problems like a grown up guy you are and stop thinking you're not gonna make it, that only worsens the situation.

I know that killing myself won't solve the problem, but what will I do if I don't make it?
I'm not the guy in the image, that's Jesse Pinkman, from Breaking Bad, I'm a fan of this series. I recently turned 18, I have no idea how to deal with life. I was given a plethora of advice by my parents, my godfather and lots of other people, but I don't know how to follow them without feeling awkward, ashamed and fearful of everything falling apart... And I know I'm old enough not to be a pussy, but I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to deal with this...

Poisonberry September 5th, 2013 11:23 PM

Re: bringing me down...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jman437 (Post 2485478)
And there's another problem... My parents won't take me to therapy because "it's normal to feel anxious"... I tried to convince them but no, they just sent me to psychologists, but I need a psychiatrist, not a freaking psychologist! I have GAD, not that anxiety someone has before a date or a very important event! I'm always anxious, for fuck's sake! I get anxious for every little thing! I can't get my mind off of problems because of it!!! I've been feeling like this since I was a child!!! So you see, I'm not the problem, my parents are, thanks to them, I'm the the anxious, fearful and neurotic person on the planet! And the worst part is they don't realize it will send me on a downward spiral if I don't get a grip on them! They won't even let me take anxiolytics!

it's bad not to be financially independent, it's really bad(there are worse things, like having cancer) it's an expectation for a normal citizen for christ's sake! Getting a college degree, a house, a car, a wife and kids. THESE are things a normal citizen has! I don't want to be a slob living at my parent's house!!! Birds are supposed to leave the nest, not live there until they die!

Well, as you said you're 18, so you don't even need them to get help. Don't know how to get help? Well, you say you're going to kill yourself, so call a suicide hotline, they should be able to get you sorted out with the proper help.

There comes a time, and 18 is as good as any, to take charge of your life and take responsibility for who you are. I'm sure your environment has had an effect on you, who hasn't been affected by their life up until now? But how long are you going to lean on that and blame someone else for what only YOU can change?

Lots of people that never even go to university are financially independent, there are a million ways to do it that don't have anything to do with computer science. I know how to use the internet and that's about it, and yet I'm not the least bit worried about being financially independent. We all have different options available to us, I'm sure yours include more than computer science. So I say, get some help getting a handle on your life and stop being a victim, it's obviously not making you happy, it's only giving you an excuse not to succeed.

Jman437 September 7th, 2013 12:46 PM

Re: bringing me down...
 
I understand, but a college degree is the best thing to be financially independent, because in this economy, only the smartest get to be financially independent(and with a good salary). When I said I wanted to be financially independent, I also implied that I wanted to make good cash, because the higher the education, the higher and better the job opportunities...


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