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-   -   Has anyone told their parents? (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=42222)

STAYING_STRONG4HIM April 17th, 2009 08:39 PM

Has anyone told their parents?
 
Has anyone told their parents that they have thought about cutting or are cutting? If so how did they react and how did you tell them?

Roxy_ April 17th, 2009 08:49 PM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
Well i dont cut myself but my
friend did and i was by her side
when she told her parents and
they said that she was going
to see a counselor and they
want to see the marks and thats all

STAYING_STRONG4HIM April 17th, 2009 08:58 PM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
I don't think I could ever tell my parents what's going on...they just wouldn't understand. I tried to explain it to them when my ex-boyfriend was cutting but they did not get it.

RaeNose April 18th, 2009 12:33 AM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
They understand a lot more than you give them credit for. Even if they don't quite understand at first, it can still trigger a sort of preparation where once they actually comprehend what the eff is going on, they'll react a lot better.

Trust me, telling your parents is not only a great step towards recovery, it's also this huge weight lifted off your shoulders. How long are you going to call yourself "Atlas", and bear all of the troubles of your world?

Remember, His scars are beautiful; however, His scars were made so that we wouldn't have to make scars for ourselves. He bled so we wouldn't have to. He was beaten, scarred, broken, punished, and killed so that we wouldn't have to be any of those things. (I know you probably won't be offended by this, considering your name/ signature. If anyone else is, I'm sorry I offended you.)

nachtspiegel April 18th, 2009 03:02 AM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
My mom knows from when I was inpatient.
My dad doesn't really know anything.
When I was hospitalized, he didn't know.
When I was released, he didn't ask why.
He doesn't know about my diagnosis.
It works better that way.

My mom relatively understands.
Self harm is something that is hard to understand.
Especially if you don't do it.

PrincessSarey April 18th, 2009 03:56 AM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
My mum has known since I was a kid. I first started when I was 7, cutting began shortly after. I was taken to CAMHS and she never does know how to deal with it. She's an alcoholic and on a night when she was drunk, I was about 9ish, she asked me "How do you cut yourself, show me how to cut myself".

Yeah, she's abused me a lot. But she's "ok" when she's sober. Yet the alcohol has killed her brain cells, for sure.

I do not have a biological father. He abused, used, and abandoned me years ago.
I have a father though. He's amazing with me. Helps me and supports me a lot.

BlackenedSilver April 18th, 2009 05:42 AM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
My mum found out, She saw the cuts on my arm when I forgot about them and walked downstairs without a jacket on. :mad: She just asked why but I couldnt tell her I just sat in tears while she looked at me. I promised her that I had stopped, Which I had at the time.
But she found out again in december, My cuts had been bleeding while I was sleeping and she saw my bed cover. Then her and my Dad forced me to go to the doctor and get help, I was sure I didn't need it But I felt better once I had told someone, eventhough I did lie slightly because I knew if I told the truth I wouldn't have been able to go home.
Now it has been over 5 months since the doctor told me that CAMHS would ring me with an appointment time, they never did. I even rang them at one point and the receptionist just said "We will ring you when we have an available time"
But my parents actually think I'm going to the counselling, I never told them that, they just assumed.

Truth April 18th, 2009 11:24 AM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
Yelled at me, made me let her see my wrists, made me hide them, then i offered for me to go to counciling. Oh,wshe also was going to call social services..

chucknorrisrules April 18th, 2009 11:39 AM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
I told my mom when I first met my therapist for the first time. We were both in the room, and I told her that I've cut myself many times before and that when I was 12, I tried to stab myself in an artery with a mail opener, which I covered up for at the time I did it. It was really hard, but it was necessary for me to get the help I needed.

STAYING_STRONG4HIM April 19th, 2009 03:00 PM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
I don't think I can ever tell my parents...probably never will....

Project Delta April 21st, 2009 10:36 AM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
If you dont want to tell your parents maybe i can tell you a few ways you might be able to subtly tell them? maybe its that your just scared of the direct approach to it.
My parents found out by going through my text messages and to be honest, they were great about it, she ASKED to see my cuts and that if i wanted she would get me some long sleeve shirts for school, (which i had been asking for for ages, with no as an answer) and she offered to take me to counselling in a place i go because i have ADHD. But overall she has been really great about it. but i dont know if i could have told my parents directly.
Its strange now, you'd be surprised how people leave you alone when they know you've cut. About 30 odd people at my school who i'm around often know i have cut, (although stopped now) and they never mock me about it, although they are the reason i started (bullying) so if you have a good friend. try to confiide in them i guess is what i am trying to say. (Gotta go now. laptop battery is dead)

-Silence April 21st, 2009 11:08 AM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
My mom found out.

After that my mother made me see this therapist that told her to check my body every night, so she continued to find them.

My mother didn't take it to well, the abuse got worse.

STAYING_STRONG4HIM April 21st, 2009 03:41 PM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
I'm thinking about telling them...
my mom may know...I caught her reading my texts and I had some stuff about cutting on there....but she has not confronted me about it. The thing is, I have lost a lot of trust in her and I just don't think I can trust her with this. I am thinking about asking my mom if I could go to counseling because I think I may need professional help...but we'll see. I have never actually cut myself...I haven't been able to allow myself to do it...but I came pretty close sunday night. I can't keep allowing myself to get closer to doing this...because one of these times I am just going to break...and do it...

Shattered Soul April 22nd, 2009 04:36 PM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
I told my mum about a month after i'd stopped (for the first time. Started again 2 months later). I was waiting to go into a really important entrance exam, 5 mins before said exam was due to start, i texted her and told her in a round about way - I had a feeling she couldn't be angry with me due to fear of upsetting me before my exam, we had also had a convo the night before where she told me I could tell her anything and she would never be angry at me for it, just angry at the situation. So i started the text with 'U know u said I could tell you anything and u wouldn't be angry...' and she replied that i'm not to do it again and that she loves me - first time i can ever remember her saying that (this was in February, i'm 18). Interestingly, this was the first time she'd never broken my trust and told my dad what i'd said/done.

STAYING_STRONG4HIM April 23rd, 2009 05:44 AM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
That's an amazing story...I don't think my mom would react that way though...

RaeNose April 23rd, 2009 08:24 PM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
That is a very inspirational story. Parents tend to surprise when they give us an honest, caring response. We don't expect them to understand, or even to give an eff. I don't quite understand it, because they did have similar problems. Heck, they started a lot of the stupid high school tends that we go through now.
After all, they are the baby boomers. ;)

SLABBS April 23rd, 2009 10:25 PM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Truth (Post 492293)
Yelled at me, made me let her see my wrists, made me hide them, then i offered for me to go to counciling. Oh,wshe also was going to call social services..

thats how i amagine my parents would reack. they over react to everything(which isnt a bad thing)

SLABBS April 23rd, 2009 10:27 PM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Shattered Soul (Post 495945)
I told my mum about a month after i'd stopped (for the first time. Started again 2 months later). I was waiting to go into a really important entrance exam, 5 mins before said exam was due to start, i texted her and told her in a round about way - I had a feeling she couldn't be angry with me due to fear of upsetting me before my exam, we had also had a convo the night before where she told me I could tell her anything and she would never be angry at me for it, just angry at the situation. So i started the text with 'U know u said I could tell you anything and u wouldn't be angry...' and she replied that i'm not to do it again and that she loves me - first time i can ever remember her saying that (this was in February, i'm 18). Interestingly, this was the first time she'd never broken my trust and told my dad what i'd said/done.

thats book worthy

SLABBS April 23rd, 2009 10:28 PM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by [S]ilence (Post 494895)
My mom found out.

After that my mother made me see this therapist that told her to check my body every night, so she continued to find them.

My mother didn't take it to well, the abuse got worse.

i bet that helped you stop though

RaeNose April 23rd, 2009 10:31 PM

Re: Has anyone told their parents?
 
That a violation of privacy, though. Her mom shouldn't continue to check her body every night for cuts and then hurt her because she does find some more cuts. That's not right. It doesn't matter if it stopped her physical scarring, what about emotional scarring?


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