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-   -   Ending a relationship with someone who is intertwined in every part of your life (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=2043684)

itcouldbeworse March 7th, 2018 09:15 PM

Ending a relationship with someone who is intertwined in every part of your life
 
So I am kinda stuck. I've been in a relationship with this guy for a little over 3 years and our lives are pretty mixed up together. We have the same friend groups, he helps out my family with a variety of things, and we even work at the same place (where I got him a job a little over a year ago.) I know I love him but recently I've been on the fence about how happy I actually am and if I should end it. The longer I think about it the more I think I will be happier but I also feel like I'm trapped. He's the one I go to to talk to because I don't have a ton of friends so I know I'd miss that aspect most of all. There's a lot of information I could say regarding the relationship but the issue I'm having is how to get out if I fully decide that's what I want. I guess where I'm getting at is that I don't know how to end things with him because he's in most parts of life. Does anyone have any words of advice? :what:

Abyssal Echo March 7th, 2018 09:39 PM

Re: Ending a relationship with someone who is intertwined in every part of your life
 
Best advice I can give you is to talk to him and tell him how you feel about the relationship/situation and take it from there.

ska8er March 8th, 2018 04:56 AM

Re: Ending a relationship with someone who is intertwined in every part of your life
 
U have the same friends-he helps out
ur family-u work with him and u love him.
What is the prob? The only thing is that u
r tired of him. Ur lives r mixed up together.
I guess u talk over things. I would discuss
how u feel with him and c what he has to
say but I think what u need is to go away
for awhile and clear ur head and then think
things over again and realize what ur life
would b like without him.

jamie_n5 March 8th, 2018 07:24 PM

Re: Ending a relationship with someone who is intertwined in every part of your life
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Abyssal Echo (Post 3639363)
Best advice I can give you is to talk to him and tell him how you feel about the relationship/situation and take it from there.

I totally agree with this. You need to talk to him about how and what you feel. You can tell him that you would like to remain close friends and that you love him still as a friend but you just don't feel that a romantic relationship is right for both of you anymore. Hopefully he will accept this and take it well. But most of all don't continue a relationship that you don't feel right in for any reason.

StacyD March 9th, 2018 09:06 AM

Re: Ending a relationship with someone who is intertwined in every part of your life
 
Tbh, I don't see how talking to him is going to do much good. He's not the one with the problem. You are. Imagine the scenario reversed:

Him: "Well, I'm pretty sure I love you, but I think I will be happier without you. It's just you're kinda embedded in my life and, well yeah, selfishly I also like that I you're there to fill my needs when I want to talk because I have no friends so I kinda wanna keep you around just for that, oh yeah, and because my family benefits too from your kindness, and there's the whole it might be awkward at work thing and I don't really want to put myself through that, but, yeah, again, I just don't think I can be truly happy with you. So, what do you think?"

So yeah. What would YOU say to him if he said that to you? If you have any self-esteem you would probably say, FUCK OFF. What do you want him to do? Convince you to stay with him? Look, if you require convincing from him or from a bunch of strangers on the net, or if you need to catalog some list of "pros" vs "cons" about having this relationship, then you clearly don't have those type of feelings for this guy and you need to move on, as awkward as it may be.

Wallky March 10th, 2018 10:41 AM

Re: Ending a relationship with someone who is intertwined in every part of your life
 
I think it's hard to break with a person if he is so involved in your life. I have a childhood friend. We grew up together. she said that she was in love with me and we started dating. I realized that I love her, but as a sister. It was difficult for us to keep the relationship after the separation. Most of all it was painful for me that she occupied most of my time. And I did not know what to do with the time that was free.

Stronk Serb March 10th, 2018 07:39 PM

Re: Ending a relationship with someone who is intertwined in every part of your life
 
It is tough, but I suggest you talk to him about it first. Maybe it can be easily fixed. Maybe the whole thing has just gotten stale and needs to something new to be added into the mix. Maybe you need to let off some steam, or something.


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