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-   -   My abuse, My life, My nightmare. (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=193036)

Dennis Chaney October 4th, 2013 12:07 AM

My abuse, My life, My nightmare.
 
Well its time to come out and talk about all of the things that have tortured me for years.

Ill start of from when I was born, I was suppose to be a miscarriage, but instead I ended up being born with a rare blood disease that 1 in 7 million people get (lucky huh) and I also was born with no seritonin in my brain. They cured the blood disease when I was 3 which was too late, I now have full blown arthritis in 99% of my body, and IF it does come back in the future all of my organs will shut down and ill die instantly.

When I was 7 up till about the age of 13 I was sexually abused by my older step brother, then at 14 when I got my first girlfriend I thought things were going to get better because I was always put down at school and rejected by all the girls, well things were going good for about 3 weeks but I noticed she was always talking to herself and I couldn't understand why. Well it was getting close to a month and I finally got to stay the night and watch movies with her, and I fell asleep on the bed watching a movie and woke up to her holding a knife saying that she had to do this or they would get her, and I kept asking who, and she said the voices in her head (which now I know she is schitzophrenic) and she told me to take of my clothes so I did.. And she got on top of me holding the knife to my throat and said she was going to have sex with me and resisted and tried getting up, so she moved the knife down to my manhood and said that I didn't have a choice, but I thought it must be a joke so I tried getting up again and she cut a 3 inch gash on the side of my manhood, and this point I'm crying in pain and just did what she said from then out.. It was not pleasant and to this day it makes me cry.

As I got older I was still scared of girls, and I started dating some and girls kept making me feel bad about not having sex with them and kept pushing me and pushing me so I just let them do whatever, I didn't want to fight anymre after what had already happened..

My family hasn't helped me much either, they all just put me down and make me feel worse for everything that has happened... But yeah this is some parts of my life that make things hard to handle for me..

Miri October 4th, 2013 11:55 AM

Re: My abuse, My life, My nightmare.
 
It sounds like you've been through quite an ordeal, and you're very strong for handling it, with what seems like so much grace, from my perspective at least.

Katiya October 4th, 2013 03:18 PM

Re: My abuse, My life, My nightmare.
 
Damn! Now that's a very creepy situation. :O I can understand your fear of girls. Just know were not all like that lol. I would be very pleased to be with a guy that didn't want sex every time I turn around. Hence why I have no boyfriend and never have had one. Its the first thing on their minds and its not on mine at all so I say get lost lol.

I can't believe those girls take advantage of you like that! And your brother? There sure are some weird brothers out there...

I'm sure you will meet some one you like that will take it slow with you. If they really like you they won't be put off by going slow.

StayBeautiful33 October 4th, 2013 08:07 PM

Re: My abuse, My life, My nightmare.
 
Not all girls are like that I assure you. It's not fair that they pressured you no one deserves being forced into sex when they aren't ready. Keep hope you'll find the right person for you someone who will see what a beautiful, strong heart you have and what you have to offer. I'm sorry for what you have gone through :(

Despot October 7th, 2013 08:52 PM

Re: My abuse, My life, My nightmare.
 
It will be hard for you to find your ment person.. its like needle in big pile of hay and thats same for me. But i guess when i find that person i will be with her till end of my life :). All the best to you, you are strong!

Ussb823 October 10th, 2013 05:07 PM

Re: My abuse, My life, My nightmare.
 
I'm going to tell you exactly what I tell my girlfriend(she's been some similar things before). You are the diamond in the rough, despite all the hardships and tragedies you face, you remain to shine beautifully as a good person. You are very strong for getting through this, and I must say I have enormous respect for any one like this. Kudos to you!

Luminous October 10th, 2013 05:15 PM

Re: My abuse, My life, My nightmare.
 
You've been through a lot, but you can pick yourself up and make yourself move forward, which you seem to be doing now. I know that death seems closer to you than to other people but just take care of yourself. It hangs over everyone's heads.. tonight when I fall asleep my cat could sit on my face and cause me to suffocate, I could be kidnapped and raped and murdered, I could be hit by a car or another vehicle, or I could find out that this itch I've had in my tooth is a serious illness and I'm going to die within 3 hours. Just let yourself move on and be confident in yourself and your abilities, know that everything will be okay if you make it okay.

Theekshana October 11th, 2013 10:13 AM

Re: My abuse, My life, My nightmare.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by StayBeautiful33 (Post 2526160)
Not all girls are like that I assure you. It's not fair that they pressured you no one deserves being forced into sex when they aren't ready. Keep hope you'll find the right person for you someone who will see what a beautiful, strong heart you have and what you have to offer. I'm sorry for what you have gone through :(

yea not all girls are the same, and finding the right one might not be easy, but a few bad apples doesn't spoil the whole cart. stay strong and i hope things will turn out to be better for you.

Emily15_xoxo October 20th, 2013 04:16 AM

Re: My abuse, My life, My nightmare.
 
wow, just gotta find the right girl, who will accept you for you

Dark Unicorn November 14th, 2013 12:53 PM

Re: My abuse, My life, My nightmare.
 
Oh hey I am so incredibly sorry to hear that.You are too beautiful-hearted to go through that.It's funny cause here I was thinking there are no guys out there that don't have that "one certain thing" on their minds and then I stumble upon you.So if i've just been proven wrong I think that means you'll find a girl out there who truly loves,respects and honours you just like you will her.I commend you highly for,not only going through hell and coming out on top,but for finding the courage within you to share your story.Stay beautiful and best wishes.


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