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Genegerbread October 20th, 2017 08:42 PM

Impulsive Insensitivity
Ever since Kindergarten, I've kind of been known as that person who's a bit brash when it comes to acting out. I'm in 10th grade, and around a lot of my friends, I tend to act very impulsive. Every time I'm around them, I try to control it, but I end up just blurting out random crap and acting a bit crazy. Tonight, I definitely took it too far when I took out a pen (had it in my pocket from some type of job fair from a few hours ago) and I started clicking it. Unbeknownst to me, my friend was deathly afraid of needles. Even after she said this, I sort of disregarded it. I eventually apologized and she accepted my apology, but I'm not sure what to do. I've been trying to control these impulses for a while now, and I try to go about my day without getting all crazy, but it always ends up happening. However, I'm not really like this around teachers, as it's important for me to earn their respect. I'm not sure if I have ADD, ADHD, or something else, but I just want to know what's going on with me, and how I can control these impulses. People have told me multiple times that sometimes I get a bit too rowdy, and I feel really guilty about what I've done after. I just don't think they understand that at this time, it's something that I've deemed to be beyond my control.

To specify, this really only happens around my friends. Around adults and my parents, I'm usually laid back. I know it sounds insane that it's difficult to control, but it is. Perhaps I should try talking to my doctor? Anywho, if you have any feedback, I would really appreciate it. I'll be sure to check back every now and then to read and respond.

Thank you!

Microcosm October 21st, 2017 02:40 PM

Re: Impulsive Insensitivity

I actually kind of know what this is like. I make really dumb mistakes a lot and can't control it. I've been trying to be mindful of things that I do or say, but I will sometimes still make dumb mistakes and blurt something out or act irrationally. One way that I've found for coping with it is just choosing to either say nothing at all (muteness) or choosing to actively limit speech to a bare minimum. For instance, if someone says hi to you, you would just say hi and nothing more. This could be dangerous, I suppose, because it infringes on the ability to be social, which creates other problems. So, I've kind of just learned to accept my clumsiness. I still feel terrible when I do or say something clumsily, but it seems unavoidable without completely renouncing the world and social life entirely. Although, that is certainly an option for the right people.

The Buddha said, for instance, that it is contact with the world that creates karmic forces, or which allows for one to feel suffering as a result of a negative or an unwholesome action or speech. He concluded that the only way, therefore, to truly deter such forces from ever arising, and thereby to eliminate suffering entirely, was to renounce the world (at least for the most part). However, it should be noted that temporary renunciation is beneficial as well if the time off is used properly and with the right people. You could simply become a hermit for a week or so--say, if you're off of school that week or something. And during that time, cultivate self-control in action and speech. Keep a sharp eye on everything that you say or do. After doing this for a few weeks, it is possible that you will have developed a habit of mindfulness and attention to your speech and actions which will allow you to control what you do or say in the future.

It should be noted that I have not truly tried this method myself; however, I plan on doing it at some point in the future.

I wish you the best, my friend.

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