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-   -   girlfriend with anxiety (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=2044917)

Henry333 May 7th, 2018 05:19 PM

girlfriend with anxiety
 
i would appretiate some insight. my girlfriend has been diagnosed with anxiety, and it is really affecting her. for example she finds it really hard to come into school. in what way can i help her? and while this is happening, do i try and progress the relationship? i want as little stress on her as possible... id just love to be able to understand, and to know what i should do atm

KatieCO2003 May 7th, 2018 09:16 PM

Re: girlfriend with anxiety
 
The best thing you can do is to let her know that you love her unconditionally. And, do your best to understand that even though it sems trivial, anxiety is a very real thing and it's horrible to live with. Don't make a ton of suggestions like taking meds or seeing a Dr, etc. Just holding her hand will probably be a lot more comforting.

ImCoolBeans May 15th, 2018 04:20 PM

Re: girlfriend with anxiety
 
Being supportive and there for her is probably the best thing/most you could do. Katie is right, tons of suggestions or trying to "fix" likely won't help much, but rather just be understanding and there for her when she needs.

Tom_theflash May 15th, 2018 05:12 PM

Re: girlfriend with anxiety
 
First of all, it would be good seeing a psychologist. I just hope it will be consistently and frequently since this is affecting multiple aspects of her life (relationships and even her safety).
As for you, it's important to remain supportive and encourage seeking professional help. You could help her prep for situations that you know are going to cause anxiety. For example, you could have a brief discussion with her before you two head out to a planned event about what you will do if she becomes very anxious. Perhaps knowing that there's a "way out" will help her relax a bit more.

Phosphene May 15th, 2018 07:57 PM

Re: girlfriend with anxiety
 
How long have you noticed her anxiety? As it wasn't the diagnosis that caused her to develop it suddenly, I don't see a reason to treat her differently than before she was officially diagnosed.

As someone who deals with anxiety, I don't like people who know I'm anxious hovering over me/asking if I'm alright continuously. Let her know that you're always there to comfort and suppoot her as she needs, and encourage (but never force) her to have some social interaction. Letting her stay to herself all the time will just enable her and hinder her further.

KatieCO2003 May 15th, 2018 08:43 PM

Re: girlfriend with anxiety
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom55 (Post 3674058)
You could help her prep for situations that you know are going to cause anxiety.

That's a really good sugestion. I didn't think about it b/c my Daddy has been doing that for me for a while now... but it does seem to help. A few months ago, he took me out to a really popular (crowded) restaurant for my birthday, and I was wearing a super-cute new dress that was a present. And Daddy spent an hour before we left helping me go over what I should say when people asked about it or made comments, etc. And it helped me to know in advance what I would say and what I would do if I started panicing.

I'm not saying that's what you necessarily need to do, but it's a thought.

Harrier May 17th, 2018 02:30 AM

Great suggestions so far. Two more things: if and when she shares with you, primarily listen and don't give suggestions. Its called "validation". So if she says "so and so made me panic", just reply "that must've been scary". She'll know you're listening and she can feel free to feel the way she feels so she's not weird. Also, help her practically. So like if she misses school, offer to get her assignments from her teachers so she can do them at home.

@KatieCO2003 what are your anxiety triggers?? You used talking about your dress as an example ... what about talking about your dress wouldve given you anxiety?

posts merged. please use the “edit” button next time. ~nebula

KatieCO2003 May 17th, 2018 09:31 PM

Re: girlfriend with anxiety
 
Oh, it's an Orange Bird (that's a Disney thing) dress and it's super-cute and everybody wanted to know where I got it, etc. And I'm soooo not good at talking to people in public. Especially when they're talking about me. So Daddy just told me to say "Thank you, it was a gift" and leave it at that.

Henry333 May 19th, 2018 05:20 AM

Re: girlfriend with anxiety
 
thanks these are good ideas, ill definitely try talking to her about what we can do if she does feel panicked in public, because previously shes just said she wanted to go home and didn't really tell me why but i guessed it was the anxiety so it would be nice to be open about it


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