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queenofcontrariety April 5th, 2015 02:27 PM

*TRIGGER WARNING*? Is a set back worth it?
I am adding the trigger warning to the title simply because I'm not sure how far into this I'll get.

The vast majority of people who self harm seem to do so for long periods of time and feel utterly hopeless, but for some insane reason I have this cycle where I harm like once or twice and n then am clean for months, it isn't easy but that's just how I work.

In all honesty I had an awful week and have been on the verge of a relapse, although I've been okay since October excluding a minor scratching incident In December. Relatively speaking I've been decent but I keep getting pushed to the brink. This morning I wake up to find that my mom bought my razor of choice for this, a four pack of eyebrow razors which have a handle... don't want to go into why I've chosen these or prefer these, but I do. I've told her not to but them but never explained why. I know she meant well but now all I can think about is how steased I am and how much I want to and don't want to at the same time. Part of me honestly wants the set back so I can get on with my life again...

Abhorrence April 5th, 2015 02:35 PM

Re: *TRIGGER WARNING*? Is a set back worth it?
Sometimes relapse is just part of recovery but if you can fight through it I strongly encourage you to do so, you're better than it.

xXoblivionXx April 5th, 2015 02:54 PM

Re: *TRIGGER WARNING*? Is a set back worth it?
try to do something to get your mind off of it when ever you feel triggered by them/in general. Go for a run/walk, turn on some music, draw (or scribble), come on to VT and talk to me or anyone else for that matter. After a while it will get easier. you can do it, just keep fighting.

City Kid April 7th, 2015 04:30 PM

Re: *TRIGGER WARNING*? Is a set back worth it?
Please keep fighting! 6 months of being clean is an incredible achievement. This isn't worth relapsing for. I understand where you're coming from, thinking that if you just self-harm once you can get on with your life again. But basically if you resist the temptation now you will eventually get through the hard time you're having without relapsing. Can you imagine how amazing that's gonna feel?
I'd strongly suggest that you throw those eyebrow razors away. If you think your Mom could find them in the trash and be angry about it, throw them in a public trash can at a park or in your school or some place like that. Also, if you don't want your Mom to buy those razors again, you could tell her that you plug your eyebrows now instead of shaving them.
Stay strong!

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