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In a bad place again

Posted October 28th, 2010 at 10:01 AM by Fiending_the_freedom (A beautiful disaster)

The last couple weeks have been really hard for me.

My depression has really acted up, and I'm in a really bad place right now.
It's so weird, I feel just like I did when I first started showing signs of depression, I'm confused, hiding it from my boyfriend (sort of), not taking care of myself and missing school; which is really why I'm so worried.

I can't let my depression give me and excuse to miss school anymore. I've been missing two days a week for the last...
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Old

Grow up.

Posted August 9th, 2010 at 02:22 AM by Fiending_the_freedom (A beautiful disaster)

I've been really critical of myself the last couple weeks.

I've really been examining my life lately...
I've had a lack of passion.
For life.
The only passion that has been in my life is my love for those I care about.

Life without passion....
That's enough to make anyone feel unaccomplished.

Anyway.
Like I said I have been examining things and,
well,
I am a kid.
At least, I have been acting like...
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Why do I have to feel like this?

Posted July 21st, 2010 at 12:56 AM by Fiending_the_freedom (A beautiful disaster)

I don't understand why I have to feel this way.

I want a baby so bad.

And I don't know why.

Before you lecture me about how stupid it is to have a child this young, i'm not stupid enough to ruin my whole life by not being able to wait. I just need to rant.

My mind, and my body are really working against me here.

It hurts so bad.

I want to be a mother.

I want to give life, I want to teach the...
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back together

Posted July 12th, 2010 at 07:30 PM by Fiending_the_freedom (A beautiful disaster)

So, that break up lasted about 72 hours.
He called me on wednesday, asking to meet up, saying he missed me and that all the reasons he told himsefl he broke up with me are not true.

When we met up, i didn't set my expectations high, i didn't want to see him having it in my head that we would get back together, and then it not happen. And i certainitly was not going to take him back unless I felt he was doing it for the right reasons.

But he was honest with me,...
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He was the one for me :(

Posted July 7th, 2010 at 05:18 PM by Fiending_the_freedom (A beautiful disaster)

I've never felt pain like this before.

I haven't eaten in three days.



I can't do anything but check my phone for text messages.



as much as it hurts me to get a text from him, i dont want him to stop, i dont want him not to miss me.



But it is unfair that he is texting me, it hurts me so bad.



last night he sent me a text saying "it feels so weird that...
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