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hey guess what im still here (:

Posted December 21st, 2010 at 04:03 PM by Sunshine Girl

Havent updated in awhile.
I'M HOME (:

I finally left my crazy ass foster lady even though she cornered me trying to not let me leave. bitch.

Anyways, my first week home I went to a friends and got drunk out of my mind and went home freaking out and barfed all over my bathroom. My parents flipped out. They took my cigs. My officer said if i mess up one more time im going back to rehab. Hell no. >.>

I'm planning to runaway in march when i turn...
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Alive.

Posted October 25th, 2010 at 01:32 AM by Sunshine Girl

Time passes.




I get so tired sometimes. Maybe I like to sit around in my negativity.
I want things to be bright
and shiny
but all i see is fucking destruction.

I go to school. I just float along.
still in fostercare. still waiting.


I miss my not boyfriend with every single cell of me.

I need a better escape than drugs.
Im scared what i will find next.
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A beautiful day.

Posted October 14th, 2010 at 06:12 PM by Sunshine Girl

Sometimes i truely feel like giving up. A friend at school grabbed my forearm today. "...jesus" he whispered. "pssht.. ofcourse i'm jesus." I laughed it off. My scars are forever.

Walk to a friends after school. The same guy was there. Pacing around the pool table asking and asking for cocaine. As I slipped away to the fridge to receive the vodka.

Let me drown. I'd rather burn out, than fade away.

It's been awhile since I could say...
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Relapse.

Posted September 27th, 2010 at 07:28 PM by Sunshine Girl

Makes me sad a little. Today I wrote this.

they got me under there wings like broken waves
im stuck to it its in my blood its in my brain
baby I miss you but im goin insane
maybe when the blood is dried and the scars have faded
maybe then I would wake up from this lucid dream
and breathe in denial and exhale decay.
Live little crack baby , live
Let the dead bury the dead she whispered
Take me away to I home I have no name
...
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Moving Day

Posted September 7th, 2010 at 08:12 AM by Sunshine Girl

Well I have'nt moved yet.
My caseworker is slow as hell and is never persistant with her job. But I packed my bags last night. I'm a nervous wreck :/

I wonder who is still here. SOO many name changes I dont know who is who anymore.

And another topic,
Back when I first started getting on here I had a bad selfinjury thing. I'm long over and done with that now. My whole family knows. Its been a long time. But now that I wear short sleeves I have overwhelming...
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