So just come back from a counsellor session. And. They. Don't. Fucking. Know. Anything.

It's just so how does this effect you? Or: Lets go back to a point that we've already covered and finally feel stable about it, but then you bringing it up makes me doubt myself bringing about crippling anxiety you arse!

And why should I even trust him? I'm not gonna tell him I love my best mate am i! He doesn't care about me he just cares about the £80,000 cheque he gets every year....

All i'm doing these days is going up and down, up and down.
I mean yea she died. Fucking great!
I could probably handle it better if i could think straight...but i spose i don't want to think straight.

Aaaargh! I'm just in one of those stupid moods ya know?! Nothing is right, or good enought, or normal, or ....IDK!

Why can't i just be normal? This happens right. so i can get through it.

Jesus this is short...cuz im so fucking messed up right...

It happened. My life just went on a downhill trend again: I tried to go to keep going to school but yesterday I didn't.
I told my grandparents I was getting a lift in with my friend Jack, but I didn't, they trust me and I just lie. All I dud was lie around his house, watch porn and take drugs.

I shouldn't be doing this. Bums and hobos and whores and lowlifes do this but not me. I'm not supposed to! None of this was supposed to fucking happen. People say life is fair or Fod...

Wow havn't posted for a while, but i'm back... and i'm good

I actually went to school this week, i couldn'y believe it when i went. I expected pity and awkward silences but i just got my friends back
They were all like normal, like nothing had happened which was good, it let me be myself again...i obviously got the odd look and sympathetic comment but i think they all understand how i feel.

It feels like my whole life has been picked up back off its railtrack...

I tried to return to school this week, i just couldn't do it. I can't face their sympathy or pity i just want to get on with life as it was before... But i know thats impossible.

I've been happier than recently this week, i don't know why, although i couldn't face school life at home is becom ing easier... i'm even calling it home now
But it will never be my true home, this is just a place i will live until i'm older, a place i eat and a place to sleep. My granparents will...