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Huge vent

Posted March 12th, 2010 at 07:07 PM by Malcolm Tucker

Okay I'm not sure how this will go, Im tired and whatever but still. I need to say all this.

First I have realized I am going down a very slippery slope. Very slippery. My cutting, my withdrawl from friends, my grades slowly slipping and getting more and more depressed. It's exactly me 2 years ago...and that did not end well. It ended with me trying to hang myself.. I was never caught cutting or trying to kill myself. I never told a soul until 5 months after. The first person I told laughed at how I didn't die. I overlooked it at the time but god. I feel like I'm leading myself toward that line again. I seem to stand on the line between life and death and wait for something to rock me either way. Ugh. It's not good. I'm considering treatment for it but I just can't break it to my parents. They'll be so disappointed in me. They see the world in me. I'm the first in my entire family to go to college. So no pressure on me at all. Don't get wrong I want to go to college buy still. I feel like if I mess up once I mess up everything. Rather like cutting too. But meh. I hate it all. I hate my life. I hate myself. I hate my school and all the asses in it who make me feel like crap every dad all day. I hate home. I hate everything.

Only just realized I'm on the verge of bursting into tears writing this. =\ never mind

/Rant

-M
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  1. Old Comment
    No matter how much you're scared you're going to hurt your parents by telling them you're having problems, you need to do it. Your parents are the only ones that truely understand you, am I right? Why do you hate yourself, your life, your school & the asses? I think some of the asses have the best asses. Keep your head up, if you're having these problems still I would talk to your parents about it. You might be surprised at how muchthey actually will be able to help you.
    Posted June 27th, 2010 at 11:06 AM by taylorlimb taylorlimb is offline
 

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