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Guess freaking who.

Posted August 4th, 2013 at 12:29 AM by LouBerry

Guess who texted me tonight. Just freaking guess. If guessed Austin, you're right.



"Is it bad that sometimes I wake up and think that I need to text you good morning?''

I was there. I was finally at the point that sometimes I never even thought of him, and if I did, it didn't hurt. And then I get that text, and every thing all of the sudden hurts. It's like... it's like watching the last Harry Potter movie. It's been over for geez, two years now? But still, I die a little inside every time the movie ends. It hits me all over again.

Sometimes I feel like I still have feelings for him. I mean, I know that I don't, I don't even know that man. I have no idea. But my heart pounds and I shake and it's bad. Ugh.

And we're talking and he wants to be my friend, but I know that it's not going to work. I'll do something stupid and we'll get mad at each other. We are NOOOT meant to be friends. It's just not in the cards.

Plus, Seth is going to flip. I didn't tell him about Austin texting me, he'd be really mad. I just want Austin to like me, and for us to get a long really well and be friends and for him and Seth to not hate each other and jeez, come on is that too much to ask? Ha, yeah right.

I mean, I want to look out in the audience at our wedding and see Austin smiling at me from like, the fourth row. Happy. Glad that he could be a part of my life. And I want to be able to talk to him about things and us care for each other because we were so in love. Oh we were so in love. Or at least whatever the stupid nave version of love is. It's sure not what I feel for Seth. I've got goose bumps just thinking about it.

You know what? What am I spazin' about? I'm happy with my relationship. Seth gives me everything that Austin did, plus all the things he didn't. I'm secure about our future, and I'm in love. I'm so smitten with my boyfriend, guys. It really takes something like this Austin crap to remind me how amazing Seth really is. He treats me so freaking great, why do I even care about Austin anymore? I don't. But I forget that when he talks to me. Remind me to blog it out next time.

Well, that took an unexpected turn. I'm sick and I'm going to bed.
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