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Screaming, raging, crying, laughing
All emotions of a heart

What happens when the heart snaps?
The heart go FFFT and depletes

Enter a child's dream and an adults laughter
That is...If I find myself...This makes no sense

Ramblings of Me.
Join me in insanity.
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A convo to remember

Posted July 10th, 2010 at 05:03 AM by Quick_Sylver

Was in chat, had an interesting convo or two. Asked permission to post one, and this is it.


[wtblife] missy, go to your room
[TootsiePop] I am.
[TootsiePop] Im in bed.
[TootsiePop] XD
[TootsiePop] its 3:30am..
[Deadly-Dreamer-X] She wanks in her bed.
[exodus] O_O
[wtblife] its 5:30 here
[TootsiePop] I DONT WANT MONDAY TO COME
[wtblife] she wanks?
[TootsiePop] OI.
[TootsiePop] I dont wank.
[TootsiePop] I finger the cucumber.
[TootsiePop] =3
[exodus] lololol
[Sith Lord 13] lolz
[wtblife] the cucumber?
[Deadly-Dreamer-X] She uses cucumber.
[Deadly-Dreamer-X] ??
[TootsiePop] Lmfao.
[TootsiePop] Im in a weird mood.
[TootsiePop] I wont remember this later.
[TootsiePop] XD
[TootsiePop] Alexxxxxxxxx
[exodus] drunk?
[TootsiePop] No.
[TootsiePop] I dont drink anymore.
[Sith Lord 13] Yes?
User exodus has logged out.
[TootsiePop] That shit fucks me up.
[wtblife] that makes more sense
[wtblife] you like me or something?
[wtblife] dsfdfda
[wtblife] dafdf
[TootsiePop] XD
[Sith Lord 13] What do you want Becka?
[wtblife] ugh my shit wouldnt send
[TootsiePop] I want my head to shut up. Make liz shush, k?
[TootsiePop] Taylor, I have a boyfriend. Other than him, I have no attraction to males.
[TootsiePop] Essentially, I am lesbian.
[TootsiePop] Except for my love for my boyfriend.
[wtblife] i meant youre like me or something*
User prettyprincess has entered this room.
User prettyprincess has logged out.
[wtblife] and my shit is lagging hardcore
User wtblife has logged out.
User wtblife has entered this room.
[TootsiePop] YAY
[wtblife] hmmmzz
[TootsiePop] YOU"RE BACK
[TootsiePop]
[wtblife] lagging?
[wtblife] seems decent
[TootsiePop] You're awesome, k.
[wtblife] i really need to get laid and why were you drinking at 13?
User Deadly-Dreamer-X has logged out.
[TootsiePop] 11-12.
[TootsiePop] Because I had major past issues.
User shadeshinner has entered this room.
[TootsiePop] Everything repressed, came back to bite me in the ass.
[Sith Lord 13] Alcohol lets people escape.
[TootsiePop] ^my reason for drinking.
[TootsiePop] And, with my father being an alcoholic, abusive asshole, there was plaenty alcohol on hand.
User wtblife has logged out.
User wtblife has entered this room.
[wtblife] internets being a bitch
[TootsiePop] Eek.
[TootsiePop] [TootsiePop] Everything repressed, came back to bite me in the ass. [Sith Lord 13] Alcohol lets people escape. [TootsiePop] ^my reason for drinking. [TootsiePop] And, with my father being an alcoholic, abusive asshole, there was plaenty alcohol on hand.
[TootsiePop] There
[wtblife] anyways, i cant remember most shit from my childhood or my teen years or yesterday or even today, my memory is really cloudy
[TootsiePop] You repressed a bunch of shit.
[wtblife] i fill most of it in with bs, makes me an undetectable liar
[wtblife] idk
[wtblife] havent had much happen to me i dont think
[Sith Lord 13] My earliest memories are high school.
[wtblife] and i wouldnt care if i did
[TootsiePop] Why wouldnt you?
[wtblife] just the way i am
[wtblife] probably the reason my memory is so bad, have a hard time feeling alive
[TootsiePop] Do you self harm?
[wtblife] nah im not emo or anything
[Sith Lord 13] Self harm =/= emo
[wtblife] had an emo period senior year but thats it
[wtblife] self harm is usually related to emotional distress isnt it?
[TootsiePop] What Alex said.
[TootsiePop] Sometimes.
[TootsiePop] But
[TootsiePop] its a coping mechanism.
[TootsiePop] Like my cutting.
[TootsiePop] I cut to feel alive.
[TootsiePop] I was numb.
[TootsiePop] No emotions.
[TootsiePop] but I faked them.
[TootsiePop] Im a good actress.
[Sith Lord 13] There are plenty of people who dress in bright colors and plaster on the smile every day, who go home, lock themselves in their room, and start to cut.
[wtblife] yeah i know
[Sith Lord 13] Cutting is like drinking to me. Some people do it to remember, some do it to forget.
[Sith Lord 13] Some do it to feel, some do it to stop the pain.
[TootsiePop] If you knew me when I joined in October, you wouldnt see what you see now. You'd see a fake. Now, Im who I actually am.
[TootsiePop] Like, while we've been talking, I've been talking someone out of suicide.
[TootsiePop] In October, I would have pretended not to care.
[TootsiePop] Because that's who I was.
[TootsiePop] Im insane and rambling.. Ima shut up.
[Sith Lord 13] Don't.
[Sith Lord 13] You're telling life as it is kiddo.
[TootsiePop] Life for me now.
[Sith Lord 13] In all its sucky glory, that's what life is.
[TootsiePop] Back then, life was simpler.
[TootsiePop] :\
[Sith Lord 13] But was it better?
[TootsiePop] In a way, ignorance was better than knowledge. But reality always shows up to take it away.
User wtblife has logged out.
[Sith Lord 13] Was it really better?
[Sith Lord 13] Or was it just easier?
[TootsiePop] In a way it was both, I had no worries or cares. But someone has to have those cares and worries.
[TootsiePop] *sighs*
[Sith Lord 13] Is it living, if you don't have those worries? Those cares?
[Sith Lord 13] The pain makes us human kiddo.
[Sith Lord 13] The light only has meaning if you know the dark.
[TootsiePop] And if the dark makes you hate the light's fleeting brightness?
[Sith Lord 13] The light may seem fleeting, but it always comes again.
[TootsiePop] Why do I always say I'll do something, like clean my room, but dont? Then again, knowing the reason behind not cleaning my room, I can understand it.
[TootsiePop] And Alex?
[Sith Lord 13] Yes?
[TootsiePop] Can I post our convo in my blog on VT?
[Sith Lord 13] Of course.
[TootsiePop] Thanks<3
[Sith Lord 13] <3
Posted in Uncategorized
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    ShatteredWings's Forum Picture
    Wow. Now i remember why I didn't use chat for the longest time.
    Posted July 10th, 2010 at 11:53 AM by ShatteredWings ShatteredWings is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Suicune's Forum Picture
    Oh my God...a lengthy conversation, how do you do it Beckeh?
    Posted August 14th, 2010 at 09:25 AM by Suicune Suicune is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Quick_Sylver's Forum Picture
    @Kyle, the fingering the cucumber bit, got ya, huh?

    @Marcus, Iunno, personal goals? o.0
    Posted September 22nd, 2010 at 01:10 PM by Quick_Sylver Quick_Sylver is offline
 

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