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All bad poetry stems from genuine feeling,
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take of your colours...

Posted March 7th, 2012 at 01:00 PM by love is louder (A penny for your thoughts and a dollar for you insides...)

Feels like its been forever since iv written something worth while. So heres my attempt. Theres only one thing in my entire life that I have been sure about and that is self harm, but lately I am not so sure about it and that terrifies me. It has made me feel better about every problem I have ever had and to be honest still does.
In my head I have chose to separate my mind from my body and now my body is staring to reject what I am doing to it. My boyfriend and my friend are constantly on...
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not the most physical guy but when she squeezed me tight she almost broke my spine.

Posted February 16th, 2012 at 05:31 PM by love is louder (A penny for your thoughts and a dollar for you insides...)

Why is working to earn money so important if money cant buy you happiness.

all the way through school your told that you need to stick in because if you dont you wont get a good job and have lots of money and so on.
but why do we need to stick in to get a good job to earn good money when money doesnt buy you happiness?
i have never aimed high. (dont aim high then you wont be disappointed when it all goes to shit) is one of my only morals in life. i was sat earlier,...
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Andy the doctors prescribed me the pills, I know im not crazy iv just lost my will...

Posted February 4th, 2012 at 09:55 PM by love is louder (A penny for your thoughts and a dollar for you insides...)
Tags feelings, ocd, rant

some of my irrational fears

BECOMING FAT
as I have said being fat again is my worse fear. I think about it at least every hour of every day. It is irrational I accept that but in my head it isnt. I know that I am happier when im thinner and are more likeable by other people.

GROWING OLD
even though it is at least (hopefully) still thirty years away. I still think about it a lot. I have had dreams for years about having restricted senses and they scare...
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would it make you feel better to watch me while i bleed?..

Posted November 29th, 2011 at 04:55 PM by love is louder (A penny for your thoughts and a dollar for you insides...)

Recently just holding it in my hand makes me feel better. knowing that i can make it go away whenever i want to. i knew a guy who used to sleep with a knife under his pillow every night, never using it. i know why now. hopefully this feeling will last, its doubtful but for once i am hopeful. i think it has been weeks since my last time. and it never really hits me until i am about to lose it. i dont think i can handle any more disappointment.

im at breaking point and this time i...
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So come on and give me a chance, to prove that im the one who can ...

Posted September 14th, 2011 at 02:20 PM by love is louder (A penny for your thoughts and a dollar for you insides...)

Its a weird relationship between you and your therapist.
Your basically two strangers that know these really intimate things about each other but she's paid to be there for you, kind of like a friendship prostitute. But yet your not friends. she's not really there for you its her job to listen to your problems. but she tells you you can ring her any time if you need her and this comforts you until you realise that "any time" means between 9 and 5 excluding weekends and shell have...
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