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All bad poetry stems from genuine feeling,
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I know you are something special. to you id be always faithful...

Posted February 15th, 2012 at 12:42 PM by love is louder


So today is the sencond day of binging in a row! today so far iv eat a box of doughnuts, cheese and beans on toast. and 2 giant chocolate cookies. doesn't sound like much but on a normal day i probably would of just eat the toast.
its all i can think about and because iv been sat in the house all day i cant distract myself. in my house everything happens in the kitchen. when people come round they sit in the kitchen. we watch telly in the kitchen a lot of the time where i am just stay adjacent to three cupboards full of snacks. and im just eating and eating.
Yesterday was valentines day, me and the boyfriend went to tesco on the way to mine and spent over a tenner each on food. which, if i am honest, is all gone now! yesterday i eat that much that i couldnt physically swallow anymore for fear that it will all come erupting back out of my mouth. i went upstairs and thew up about half of it and as soon as i came back down my first though was 'ooo now i how more room in my stomach what can i eat next!' this thought made me feel sick again and i just kept eating and eating when i went to bed last night i couldnt even lay on my stomach because it was that full.
because i dont eat properly (i have eat nothing for three days prior) sometimes, usually once or twice a month, i eat like this and i just tell myself im just making up for all the other days where i couldnt physically eat. but not for two days in a row its getting a little ridiculous now. thank god i havent put on any weight!
i have got another mental assessment next week. maybe its time to bring it up now. maybe its time to get help.
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  1. Old Comment
    I agree with you. I think it is time to bring it up. Maybe try to find a way to get on a regular eating schedule. Just small meals regularly so you don't binge as much and mess up your system anymore. Good luck!
    Posted February 16th, 2012 at 03:17 PM by prob1996 prob1996 is offline
  2. Old Comment
    love is louder's Forum Picture
    my current therapist knows that i havent been eating much and has just put it down to stress she told me to eat small meals ie a sandwich seven times a day. i understand why shes telling me to do it but her advising me and me being able to do it are two different things entirely so i agree with you entirely. thanks for the support as always
    Posted February 16th, 2012 at 04:43 PM by love is louder love is louder is offline

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