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An introduction to Emily

Posted January 4th, 2018 at 06:53 PM by NeonBlueButterfly

As you may have guessed, I'm Emily. I'm sixteen, about to graduate high school early, and I live in the southern US. Some of what you might imagine about a girl from the south fits me. I do enjoy sweet tea, I have a bit of the southern accent (but not as much as you might think), and I can handle the summer heat easily, but I'm bundled up in multiple layers if it gets much below 60.

If you were to meet me in real life, maybe at school, or church, I'd be the stereotypical image of a daughter of a "well respected" southern family. I try to be polite at all times, I'm active in the church... pretty much anything you think of when you think of a daughter of the south, that's how I appear.

However, that image I maintain so meticulously is not the real me. It is the mask I wear because I am from one of those families that is all about status and appearances. I have been told repeatedly that my life is only of value if I spend it in service to the church, that I will not be welcome in the house if I "choose" to become homosexual... it's all the negative stereotypes of the high class southern society types pretty much rolled into one.

So then, who am I really?

I can't say I know completely, since I work so hard to maintain the image of the perfect daughter because I'm still financially dependent on the parents. There are, however, a few things that I do know. I'm smart, I'd like to think I'm pretty, I'm very much attracted to girls, and my primary goal in life at this point is to go to college somewhere far away. I'm even considering Alaska, even though I'm pretty sure the winters up there will probably kill me the moment I try to get out from under the covers in the morning.

I'm here because the internet allows me to be the person that I really am, instead of the person I'm expected to be. It's really the perfect substitute for actual human contact around here. I get to say things like, "I'm an atheist" or "that girl is so freaking cute, I wonder if she'd be interested in going on a date", and it's accepted. Nobody will look down on me for not being dedicated enough to a church that I don't believe in. Nobody will decide that I'm not worthy of any kind of love just because I want to share my love with a special girl instead of a guy. If, for some reason, somebody does look down on me for those reasons, I can safely cut them out of my life and move on.

I promise that I really am more than just a seething ball of rage toward the local church, my family, and the excessively large homophobic community. It's just that these are the main issues affecting my life at the moment. Hopefully, when the day comes that I get to decide how to be me, I'll have more interesting things to say, and maybe an amusing story or two.

I think that's about it for today. My homework won't do itself.
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