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From urban Dictionary- "Unrequited Love"-
Its like drowning but you just won't fucking die.
That's how I feel about this girl. the weirdest, most controversial person I know. I love her, and she knows it. She doesn't like me. This is about my antics trying to win her over, and possibly find someone else along the way!

Let's rock.
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Been a long time....

Posted March 13th, 2015 at 07:30 PM by onewingedangel666

Been a long time and... shits happened. About 3 months ago she emailed me... out of the blue... about how she was screaming and crying..... about how she got a gameboy emulator on her phone.

And she wonders why I think I love her.

I took this that she wanted to talk, and be friends again. For 3 months we messaged back and fourth. She got me into the Anime SAO and made me watch her favorite movie.... I really thought we were good friends...

About a month ago a friend said that she was mad at her boyfriend for talking to me (we have been getting along lately) because it made me think her and I were friends. She denied all of it, and I believed her. later I even invited her to a game of DnD between me and my friends, and she seemed like she really wanted to. That ended up falling through...

One night.... me, her, and her boyfriend were Skiing, and while we were taking a break, me and her played in the snow... Everything was amazing. Me and her were friends.... and everything was great again....

Then I was once again told the exact same thing by another person. Once agian the girl denied it but.... Everything people were telling me...

A few weeks later I got a message from her. Everyone had told me she sent it, but I hadn't seen it yet. She ripped me apart. She called me a stalker and (referring to what i said to her about 9 months ago, when I got way to angry) said I verbally and sexually (because of the words I used... God i fucked up...) abused her... She said we were not friends, and that she was just being nice and told me to leave her alone... She told me to go cry to my friends, or move on with life- she couldn't care less she said... And... i was sorta okay with it. I walked about a quarter mile, stood beside a field, and tore up the memories I had of her, the movie ticket from our "not so real date", and the pamphlet from the place where we first hung out. I thought I was finally be over her.

That "being okay" lasted a week. I woke up after I had a dream about her, then a dream of one of my best friends saying "you never hang out with me anymore" (That hurt me cause me and him have been best friends since third grade, and he won't even come over to my house anymore.) at first i was crying about that, but in about 10 seconds my thoughts went to her, and I cried for about 10 minuets.

I don't remember whether this was before or after that dream, it's all a little blurred, but I messaged her telling her I was okay, and I understood that she loved her boyfriend, and that i was sorry for her, because i know her boyfriend will never go with her after high school (she wants to travel the world). She took it as I was trying to guilt trip her... by the time I was done explaining, she said that we should never try and be friends again to preent this from happening.

I don't get it.... WHy? WHy the hell would she message me, a kid she KNOWS loves(or likes or whatever the hell you want to call what I do) her more than anything in the world, pretend to be my friend for 3 months, the just toss me aside... I just don't get it. The only sensible reason I can come up with is that she wanted to hurt me.... and I can't accept that. Now, i can't watch any anime, I can't play any Legend of Zelda or Pokemon games cause i think of her......

I'm not even mad that I'll never get the girl... i want to know why i lost a friend... I just want closure... but maybe there is nothing more to it then "I was being nice"..... It really sucks
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