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Freedom?

Posted October 22nd, 2009 at 05:38 PM by Fiending_the_freedom (A beautiful disaster)

I feel as though now I've stopped putting myself down and letting myseld self destruct,

All my passion for writting went with it.



I have no connection with the pencil hitting the paper.

So much inside me and no way to get it out anymore.



My body is heavy.

I don't think I could get up even if i wanted too.



It's all real now.

Life.

...
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Old

i'm tired of being blonde!

Posted October 3rd, 2009 at 02:17 PM by Fiending_the_freedom (A beautiful disaster)

ARG.
I MISS MY RED HAIR SO MUCH.
and i miss having long hair </3

i really, really, really want to dye it back red.
but my dad will kill me, he spent a lot of money on dying my hair blonde.
Plus i have to dye it almost every week to keep it from fading,
and i just got a job at a kindergarden so that wouldn't go over well.

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Old

YAY!

Posted September 29th, 2009 at 07:33 PM by Fiending_the_freedom (A beautiful disaster)

Yess, I did it!
My first day looking for a full time job placement for co-op and after three hours, going to four places, I got it!

I went to a public school that had a day care program, walked in, got interveiwed there and then and she said as fall as the volenteer hours go, shes down for it, so I would be working 9-5, and also she has to interview a couple more people but shes also considering hiring me for pay to work the after school daycare, 3-6 every weekday 8 bucks an...
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so the stress begins

Posted September 23rd, 2009 at 01:20 AM by Fiending_the_freedom (A beautiful disaster)

I don't even know what to write.
I feel like since i've stopped putting myself down when i'm depressed,
I have nothing to write about.

I mean its a good thing, not doing that anymore,
but now when i'm depressed, well nothing goes through my mind.
Like actually nothing, i can't think, of anything good or bad, I'm just sad.
I guess this goes to show i've never dealt with my depression head on, i guess in a way putting myself down was a defence mechanizim...
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Yellow Rubber Duck.

Posted September 14th, 2009 at 09:59 PM by Fiending_the_freedom (A beautiful disaster)

I hate thinking of titles
So summers over (boo!)
Now time to take everything seriously.
It's been 9 months now since i last cut, boo ya! Not even any more cravings!!
I had to watch all my friends go off to university, while dropout me has two more extra years to go.
Oh well, better late than never, can't dwell on the things i can't change.

I signed up for co-op so i'll be either working full time (which i doubt i can find a full time job) or volunteering...
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