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nervous wreak.

Posted April 7th, 2009 at 10:28 AM by Fiending_the_freedom

i wrote this last night but didn't post it.

Wow, this is weird.

I've had a perma grin on my face since me and owen started dating on wednesday.

But tonight after he dropped me off, i just sat and thought too much,

and started crying.

i'm still crying.

me and a friend are having a deep conversation about my trust issues with guys,

and about the.... rape, which i still cannot say outloud.

about how wrong it was and how i'm not overreacting.

And how i cant tell owen, i cant even say it outloud,

but i dont want him to hear from someone else, i dont want those words in other people mouths about me.

I just realized,

I'm scared.

What if i let owen in?

He cheated on his last girlfriend,

what if he cheats on me?

i couldn't fucking take that.

This seems so right.

maybe too right?

i've never been cheated on...

That would destroy me...
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  1. Old Comment
    PandaLeah's Forum Picture
    I know having close friends to talk to is what helped me get through similar issues a few years ago.. All we can do is survive.
    Posted May 26th, 2012 at 06:53 PM by PandaLeah PandaLeah is offline

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