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I fear turning out like my dad...

Posted August 27th, 2009 at 08:05 PM by Underground_Network

My dad is addicted to gambling. My dad has almost no common sense. My dad has anger issues. He's abusive and controlling. He's narcissistic. He's a user (not of drugs, he just uses other people to get what he wants). He's conniving and deceptive.

I have it in me to become like him. I have the rage and the violence in me that he does. I have the urge to lie like he does.

But those things don't bother me, I think I can overcome them... The biggest thing I fear is turning into what he was in college and after college.

He used girls, so fucking often. He had like thirty girlfriends+ a year in college. He brags about all the girls he slept with in college all of the time, even in front of my mom...

But yeah, I don't want to be like him, but I think I might end up at that way. Every time I get close to a girl, I get addicted to her... Enough so that I scare her away and then have to replace my addiction.

I need love, and I think once I get the 'courage' to, I'll do anything for it. And I mean ANYTHING.

I don't want to be like my dad. Even in restaurants he'll manage how nice a girl's ass is or how gorgeous/beautiful she is or even point out how big her tits are... In front of my mom and I... In a fucking public restaurant. I hate him for that, and that's not even one of the worst things he does.

But still, as much as I hate him for how he is, I know there's a damn good chance I could turn out like him... But I really, really don't want to... :/
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  1. Old Comment
    RaeNose's Forum Picture
    Wow, no offense, but your dad is a pig.
    I'm really glad you don't want to be like that. Unfortunately, there are some people that do...

    You are not your father. I hope you realize that. You have a choice to control your actions.
    Posted August 27th, 2009 at 10:58 PM by RaeNose RaeNose is offline
 

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