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Woop

Posted January 15th, 2015 at 06:03 PM by Typhlosion

Hey, um, long time no see, eh?

TMI and wall-of-text warning. Tl;dr below.

Welp, a lot has happened these last few months, and so much more is to come.

Life just went from an acceptable okay route, back from the frat, to a mess; and I'm pretty sure I mentioned it all about. My social interactivity dropped badly, emotions gone really wrong (which led to a meltdown where my notebook got rekt, yay), got kicked out of school and am back home. To tip me off more my ultra-religious friend called ((un-)fortunately, while I was sleeping) before Christmas and have been avoiding people ever since. Haven't opened personal email, Facebook, VT, and all the other stuff.

I had two discussions/arguments/fights with my parents about my future the last month. Where I'll go study and who I'll talk to, among others. I wanted to try College/Uni outside home again while they wanted me to stay. And every time "exposing" myself more, showing how grave the problem is. After the second argument they asked me to wait for the holidays to continue talking.

In between the second and third two things happened: 1, my score at ENEM was shown to be, well, terribad and barely enough to pass in some universities; and 2, if I do need to serve for my country, I got the worst possible: infantry. Oh, and that means waking up super early to get a bus to another city to stay at a camp for 2 hours for the whole second semester of 2015.

And today, you know, was interesting. Yesterday I fell in a beginner's trap while assembling my new PC and that bummed me out totally. They insisted on being outside, so we walked about while talking 'till we ended at the park. Stares all about (even more so when I get emotional and start to cry/shout/be agressive) but who gives a damn. And... you know what, my father got it. Like, he thinks I didn't realise in how much of a complicated situation I am, nor did he correlate my motives correctly. But I get that he understood. Despite not getting out with what I wanted, and basically being told that I'm a bag of shit, I got out of that conversation... content. Yeah, content. It's been a while that I haven't felt so, from either sad to just droning to explosive short-term happiness. Content.

So I'm staying at UNIFESP at home. They said that if I manage to show great improvement (more so academic, which should not be main focus) in a year or two they'll let me out of home to do college somewhere else. Even though that would mean starting college at 20 and losing 3 years of my life. Oh well. + the uni psychologist.

Now that I mentioned that, I feel like it should be said. Remember that thread I made about first time going? I didn't go. Because, really, when I asked if I continue to go to UNFEI for them they replied, in an e-mail, translating directly, "may consider". While that was a "pretty much yes" to them, I understood it as "a remote possibility", so I never went again in the belief that I'd go for only a month. Seriously, language is weird.

TL;DR: Fought a lot, isolated myself, bummed out, staying home to do UNIFESP with some hope in my heart, also got a new computer that I'll assemble tomorrow.

Eh, life.
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