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Five: I don't want to deal.

Posted January 5th, 2014 at 07:18 PM by LouBerry

That just about sums it up.

I don't want to deal with growing up. Not because I'm afraid of the unknown. Not because I'm unsure of myself. Not even because I'm not ready.

I don't want to deal with all this right now because of my Dad. He doesn't want me to leave, so he is insisting that I stay at home my next two years and go to the little local community college and then transfer where I want to go. I don't want that at all.

At first, he was okay with me going to the college I wanted, as long as I lived at home and traveled back and forth for the first few years. That would be sixty miles a day for two years. Uhm, how about you pay for all my gas and my vehicles expenses and then we'll talk.

So, he backed off that idea completely, and now thinks that I need to just stay and go to the college he works for.

His tactics for convincing me? Bribes, quilt trips, and cleverly concealed threats.

He kept talking about how good it would be for me, and how much money I'd save and this and that, and then when he could tell I wasn't really buying it, he has the audacity to tell me that with my step-mom's mystery illness and my grandpa's cancer, it would be better for me to be at home in case they need me. How utterly and horribly selfish. To use my Grandpa's cancer as a guilt trip to keep me home.

Then, like that didn't do the trick, he starts talking about getting me a new car over the summer, but tying it into going to school here. Which is just wonderful, because he has been promising me a new car for graduation for two years and now he's going to opt out because I'm not going to the school he wants me to? Wow.

Then, when he sees that I'm angry and still not really contemplating what he wants, he tells me that I don't need to be driving to the town my grandparents live in so much, and that we should start going as a family on Sundays to spend the day with my Grandparents. In case you don't know, my Grandparents are my safety. They are my rock, everything. I literally do not know what I would do without them. I go to their place to get AWAY from my dad, and he knows it. So, he's threatening to take about my safe place if I don't do what he wants. Great.
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