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Me, Jack Vidgen, & Weight Loss

Posted October 23rd, 2012 at 03:41 AM by Joshua D. Boggess

I want to and dont want to write right now. Im happy cuz ive made and started my own simple diet and exercise plan and now, 2 weeks later, ive lost 12 lbs. Bad news? I have over 100 lbs i'd still like to lose :/ .... Anyway I found a new song to love. I love it because I connect with it very well, love the lyrics and the singer its Fly by Jack Vidgen
I like a lot of other songs he sings too but im too lazy to list them I guess. The guy I thought liked me hasn't shown any more signs that he might so Im convinced at this point that he doesn't and it was all in my head. 1st real crush, crushed idk, I doubted it the whole time but I still like him lol like the big gay freak I am. Still not 100% self accepting yet. Still not happy being gay. I'm just living, trying to forget it but I think of it everytime I see a guy, everytime I see a girl, everytime I think about life. I always think about it, always have. Always on my mind, one of the reasons not being happy with it has been so frustrating and depressing for me. I don't think I will ever stop hating me fully. It will always come back, the hatred, no matter how hard I try to be happy being me.

Weight loss is a big deal for me. I have been obese my entire life and have consequently never felt comfortable in my own skin. Im not comfortable without a shirt on, Im not comfortable in clothes of any sort or out of clothes because I find my body so repulsive. It bothers me greatly to look at myself and see all my extra weight, I feel ugly, inferior. I have always wanted to lose weight, and I really hope I do this time. My writing is poor and choppy so I'll stop writing this now, for someone who wanted to be an author this is embarrassingly poor writing.
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