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Fuck off. You don't give a shit.
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You shouldn't read this because you are not real.

Posted April 6th, 2012 at 03:47 PM by dead

I am writing this post because I'm just so goddamn depressed, I don't make threads and I rarely ever even make blog posts. I've been crying a lot lately and thinking about suicide all the time, well I always I think about suicide, but lately I've been actually considering it. I'm stupid, and pointless and pathetic and I should just be killed before I say something else stupid. I've been stuffing my face lately as well because I'm a selfish fucking asshole and because I can't be bothered going outside to go smoke and shit because i'm too depressed. I don't even want to write this stupid fucking blog post. I'm a fucking cunt and i should just fuck, meh so fucking hard not to fucking cry all the fucking time. god fucking damn, fuck god, gods not real, gods your imaginary fucking best friend you stupid fuck, you are so fucking selfish for believing that you should do good, you stupid fucking cunt, there are no fucking rules you stupid fucking cunt, you help people because you care not because you fucking fear you stupid bitch ass nigger, fucking bastard, i fucking hate you, i want to take shears to your chest and rip you open. to fucking break your chest cavity and fucking cut you up to pieces you fucking pig, i hate you i fucking hate you. you fucking pig you motherfucking pig, I want to see you die, I fucking want to see you suffer before me as I end your life in the most painful way i can imagine, fucking shoot you up with adrenaline and fucking tear you limb from limb making sure every nerve in your body is writihing in pain and I want to hear you fucking scream and die, I want you to fucking die. I should kill myself tonight, hell why tonight, why not right now? No I have to wait till I can help beck be okay and till I can hug amanda and just make sure everyone that i care about is okay before I die from my own hands, fucking dipshit cunt fucking nigger, I hate you faggot why havent i killed myself yet i'm a fucking disgusting human fucking being and i don't deserve to fcuking live and shit gets worse all the time. Maybe you could pull the trigger for me, i'm sure they're is plenty of people that would kill me on the spot, maybe if I paid them, i'd like that. i'm such a fucking cunt. someone should slit my throat and stab me in my lungs and fill my air vents with blood, make me nothing more than a disgusting rotting pile of shit of a corpse. why havent i gotten up or moved yet, it's been hours, itrs' ebeen like hthree hours, you fucking fcaggot you fucking freak why the fuck are you fucking asexual you fucking piece of shit the fuck is wrong with you, you fucking ugly ass fucking nigger, why the fuck do you bother to not kill yourself, i've tried before i'm sorry, i dont know what else to do i just want to sleep forever, don't sleep you fucking faggot just kill yourself, i'm not strong enough, your a fucking piece of shit jump off the fucking one lane bridge you fucking cunt, i cant i need to make sure everyone i care about is okay, they'll all be okay once your fucking dead you fucking nigger bitch fucking faggot rotting corpse. thats not true. how the fuck do you know, how the fuck do you know they only care about you becuase you care about them how the fuck do you know they even do actually love you, you dont you fucking faggot now go kill yourself, no, aw are you fucking attempting to be controllive for once, yes and i am, no your not you dipshit what the fuck are you gonna do say no and hide behind a fucking chair all you are is a fucking pussy that deserves to die, your right i do dserve to die i'm sorry for ever allowing myself to live you fucking faggot just go kill yourself right now look yur not even touching your fucking skype, i'm sorry i'm just to upset right now and i cant let this happen, shut the fuckup you fucking pussy all you care about is yourself you fucking selfish bastard, thats not true why would i help others if all i cared about were myself, because your a gay ass faggot that thinks he can make friends by having something in common and caring and is empathetic because he's a faggot, that's not true please stop insulting me it hurts and makes me want to die and is making me cry, shut the fuck up you fucking bitch you should die you fucking cunt your nothing fucking nothing piece of fucking shit.

Sorry, I don't really know what happened. My head was pounding and I kept on typing and couldn't think. I don't want to read that. It's probably full of depressing thoughts or something. I shouldn't bother keeping it but I really feel bad right now and I want to vent a bit before I post or delete this or do whatever with this. I'll check skype now, it's orange, bye.
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  1. Old Comment
    Stronger's Forum Picture
    Koshin, don't beat yourself up so bad, can you talk to me? I hate seeing you like this, and I would like it, if you came and talked to me, your always helpful and caring to me, let me return the favor. I may hardly know you, but I do wanna try and help you, your a nice caring, helpful person, maybe this means nothing to you, but I care alot, let me know if you wanna talk, I'll be here for you.
    Posted April 6th, 2012 at 04:28 PM by Stronger Stronger is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Desuetude's Forum Picture
    Im so sorry you feel like this. You don't deserve to and in my eyes you are none of those things. You are caring and empathetic but that makes you such a good person and you are, you're an amazing person!
    I wish you could see what I see when I talk to you because you are so strong, helpful and honest. I love talking to you and I do care about you, please know you can always come to me about anything that's on your mind, no matter how big or small if I'm concious (not asleep, sorry) then I will answer and help the best I can.
    I love you <33
    Posted April 6th, 2012 at 04:32 PM by Desuetude Desuetude is offline

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