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Rating: 2 votes, 2.00 average.

Need Help To quit cutting?

Posted October 16th, 2011 at 07:34 PM by Jupiter
Updated October 20th, 2011 at 09:13 PM by Jupiter

Do you want to quit cutting? Here is the step program I tried, please tell me if it works for you.
First of all, you have to realize you have problem that can be fixed, and you have to be willing 100% or this will not work.
Step one: Throw away all things that you harm yourself with.
Step two: Find a friend, preferably a friend in real life, to talk about everything.
Step three: Separate from everything that is triggering you if you can.
Step four: If you harmed anyone else, make amends.
Step five: After long whiles of meditation, find your happy place, that is a haven in your mind. This can help you when you are feeling the need to cut or self harm.
Step six: Find a new healthy SAFE hobby. IE: DO NOT PICK SOWING IF YOU ARE A CUTTER, AND DON'T START CAMPING IF YOU ARE A BURNER.
Step seven: Have a realization that you are no longer a self harmer, but you can still become one way easier than you quit.
Step eight: Spread this good news to other people who cut.
YOU HAVE NOW COMPLETED THE BURCH STEPS TO THE SELF HARMER.
If want to quit, and you promise to, write below...
I _______ pledge to take these steps, to do them to my maximum capacity, and to promise that I will not self harm during the process.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Okay. I see a few flaws with this. While I see that you want to help, you have to realise that if you've not had experience with self-harm, some of this may seem easier than it is.

    Throwing out your tools? That's like taking drugs from a junkie. Most junkies are weaned off the drug slowly. Throwing away tools is like going cold-turkey and while it works for some, it can also trigger a faster relapse in most.

    Steps three and six: while I see what you mean to do, you can't run from things all the time. The idea isn't to separate yourself from the issue but to find other ways to deal with the issue. For example, I cut because of my disorder. I can't exactly separate myself from that. External things should not be avoided because you have to face them eventually.

    The others are all good ideas but they're nothing no one hasn't heard before. But hey, if people want to try this, glad to hear you're trying to help. Go for it. Just figured I'd give you some of the facts, having been a self-harmer for nine years. It's an addiction for many or near that. Some of these steps are just unrealistic either in the order or in general.
    Posted October 16th, 2011 at 07:41 PM by Deleted User Deleted User is offline
  2. Old Comment
    I appreciate this, but I want you to know that actually, steps three is much like the AA steps... and I said separate from the things the things you CAN. And, I put "throw everything away" first, because it will prolly be the hardest. And take the most time, I put it there so that we can get the dirty hard work away easier.
    Posted October 16th, 2011 at 07:48 PM by Jupiter Jupiter is offline
    Updated October 16th, 2011 at 07:53 PM by Jupiter
  3. Old Comment
    I do understand where you're coming from. But you're in a different mindset than most self-harmers. Some people are certainly capable of doing the hardest first but most aren't. It's sort of hard to explain but it's a certain attachment. A lot of us get some comfort in having the tools around even if we don't use them. Getting rid of tools tends to be the last step when we know we're ready and can handle it. Not having the option tends to add more stress when you're overwhelmed and you can resort to worse methods.

    But hey, if people want to go about it that way, I commend them. Just realise a lot won't no matter how willing they may be.
    Posted October 16th, 2011 at 07:59 PM by Deleted User Deleted User is offline
  4. Old Comment
    StoppingTime's Forum Picture
    I have to agree here. You (myself as well) aren't first hand self-harmers. You don't really know what they are going through, and how they can't just follow a simple system like this. It is a good idea though, and for some, it may be able to work.
    Posted October 16th, 2011 at 08:32 PM by StoppingTime StoppingTime is offline
  5. Old Comment
    AJay's Forum Picture
    Hey, I personally agree with Bogumil's steps because I have delt with serious self-harmers before to the point of where I have been able to help them stop. He was also right to put the 'throw away' step first because while quitting cold turkey is the hardest way to do it it is also the most effective in the long run from my experience.

    Also it is true that a cutter won't see it as black and white of a plan like StoppingTime said which is why often they can't manage to quit without the aid of another who knows how to deal with and read people.

    Some self-harmers you can be blunt with and others you need to be sensitive also you may have to switch between tactics. It all depends on the specific case but the biggest thing you can do to help a self-harmer is to be willing to listen to them and then talk to them when they are done saying what they have to say. The worst thing you can do to what I'll call the 'emo' type (no offence meant) is interupt them because then they go into the whole self-destruction "No one understands me" spiral.

    I would also like to say although my problem wasn't serious and lasted a short amount of time I do in fact have first hand experience.
    Posted October 17th, 2011 at 09:38 PM by AJay AJay is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Ambrosia's Forum Picture
    I agree with Jo, sadly.

    The thing is, perhaps people who are just starting to self-harm, and whom haven't been doing it for as long as a lot of us have (I.E, they aren't so...attached. Best I can say) can use this program a little bit easier then the rest. It is a good program, don't get me wrong. Self Harm can be compared to Alcoholism very very closely so, hey, why can't the same programs be used!? I've known plenty of people to use similar programs for similar things. Drugs, cigs, etc.

    Dare I ask...Why can't burners go camping? Are we going to throw ourselves into the campfire out of pure need? And sewing...Are we going to sew ourselves into nice little knit-socks? I say this jokingly because that's the image it gave me when I read that!!! But honestly, I'm not sure how many people might find those things triggering. If we were to avoid every little thing that had a sharp edge, or every thing that resembled a flame, we would have to lock ourselves into padded rooms for eternity.

    I like this, though. It's great that you want to help. Good work, Nice job, Awesome, *gives a star*
    Posted October 17th, 2011 at 10:47 PM by Ambrosia Ambrosia is offline
    Updated October 20th, 2011 at 07:55 AM by Lexi The Rebel
  7. Old Comment
    TheMatrix's Forum Picture
    Quote:
    Step one: Throw away all things that you harm yourself with.
    As many others have said, this won't work.

    Quote:
    Step three: Separate from everything that is triggering you if you can.
    So you're suggesting that people "simply" move out and go someplace else. Ah, I see. Very well.
    Quote:
    Step four: I you harmed anyone else, make amends.
    What do you mean with that?

    Quote:
    Step five: After long whiles of meditation, find your happy place, that is a haven in your mind. This can help you when you are feeling the need to cut or self harm.
    Unfortunately, that doesn't work for everyone.

    Quote:
    Step six: Find a new healthy SAFE hobby. IE: DO NOT PICK SOWING IF YOU ARE A CUTTER, AND DON'T START CAMPING IF YOU ARE A BURNER.
    Think about it. All hobbies have some kind of dangerous aspect to it.

    Quote:
    Step seven: Have a realization that you are no longer a self harmer, but you can still become one way easier than you quit.
    That made no sense.

    Sorry kid, but there's just too many flaws in it.
    Posted October 19th, 2011 at 01:31 AM by TheMatrix TheMatrix is offline
  8. Old Comment
    K, im done. thanks for the criticism. I mean, if it doesn't help you, sorry. If it does, then OKAY COOL! just leave alone now, damn...
    Posted October 19th, 2011 at 09:27 PM by Jupiter Jupiter is offline
  9. Old Comment
    Ambrosia's Forum Picture
    ....Hey man, we weren't being mean. It's constructive criticism. No one came here to tear you down by any means. What's the point of posting something if you don't want anyone to share their opinions on it? The majority of us just wanted to help out! Like, if you wanted to post another one. Rewritten or something.

    Here, I'll quote myself for the sake of you knowing we weren't being mean.

    Quote:
    Good work. Nice job. Awesome. *gives a star*
    Posted October 20th, 2011 at 07:54 AM by Ambrosia Ambrosia is offline
  10. Old Comment
    Donkey's Forum Picture
    It's nice, Eric man. this is what VT is for. good job
    Posted October 20th, 2011 at 02:03 PM by Donkey Donkey is offline
  11. Old Comment
    I'll just delete it. Like everyone is wrong, i guess.
    Posted October 20th, 2011 at 04:09 PM by Jupiter Jupiter is offline
  12. Old Comment
    Ambrosia's Forum Picture
    No, leave it up, it can help a lot of new people, like I said before.

    I feel like your ignoring our positive things.
    Posted October 20th, 2011 at 06:30 PM by Ambrosia Ambrosia is offline
  13. Old Comment
    6 things were said before I said i'd take it down. one was actually agreeing. Matrix said something was wrong with every step. Well, if something is wrong with everyone... what's the point?
    Posted October 20th, 2011 at 09:12 PM by Jupiter Jupiter is offline
  14. Old Comment
    Ambrosia's Forum Picture
    Matrix is one whole opinion. Why let one bad opinion ruin your thoughts on something? That's just silly. Criticism is everywhere, you can't avoid it. You're letting one bad thing ruin the positive.
    Posted October 29th, 2011 at 02:01 PM by Ambrosia Ambrosia is offline
 

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