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Ramblings of a 13 year-old gay kid.
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Nicky's Nook

Posted September 15th, 2011 at 11:46 AM by Nicky97

Nicky's Nook

You can tell that the pickings are getting slim for a weekly blog when I sink to a topic like this week's: Transgenderism. Yes, I wonder on occasion about some of it. Not whether or not I wish to be treated as male, or whether anything about my being is, in the least, feminine. I am, and I do wish to be treated, as decidedly non-macho. You know, that extreme masculinity, that boring stupid any-goes behavior just to impress a potential mate. That's not me.

Speaking of gender confusion, let me plug my favorite web-blog, Raising My Rainbow, a short, magical, twice-a-week piece of sheer joy that comes from the mother of a lovable 4 year-old. "Adventures in raising a slightly effeminate, possibly gay, totally fabulous son."

In spite of my sexual (oral) experience (failure) being asked to try to please a couple of young girls who didn't know any more than I did about how that might be accomplished, I don't claim to know much of anything about the sexual sensations derived during female masturbation. I have only my fantasies to guide me.

But my fantasies and I are very good friends. For some reason I fail to fully understand, I feel very comfortable performing oral sex on someone I more-or-less am friendly with, and who is more-or-less about the right size. It's not about them totally, some of it is a non-sexual satisfaction for me as well. Am I told that I sucked my thumb longer than most toddlers. Then I moved on to lollipops (perhaps an intentional move on the part of my parents?). As adults they say this oral fixation can manifest itself as cigarette smoking or over-eating. As a newborn, it's the most natural thing in the world.

Sure there is a great satisfaction from knowing that I have pleased a friend in a way that is a little above and beyond their daily activities. But there is a limit beyond which it is no longer a joy for me, physically, just to be doing it. And I know if it's not a good fit for me, then it's not a good fit for them either. I just am not doing my best if I am beyond my capabilities.

Now I like kids, I get along with them pretty well since I am quite small and short and not really into the rebellious, selfish teenage years just yet. That's not a sexual thing, and I probably have very little idea of what typical development is like, regarding sexplay, since I have been loving what I do ever since my first experience, when a 9 yo classmate suggested I do him and I did and I loved how it made me feel. I don't know what a typical level of interest in sexplay is for most kids. I'm not really into that, for a number of reasons. I would imagine that not being able to experience very much in the way of an orgasm leads the list. Nothing much I could do for them if I did allow myself to get in such an awkward situation.

I recently talked about the rights of kids to use their bodies in whatever ways seemed desirable to them. I was promptly shouted down by the "haters" but there has to be some point at which we all become able to give informed consent. It seems logical to me that once you are able to experience an orgasm, that's one pretty good sign you have arrived. There are others, of course, pro and con. It just so happens that from the onset of the first indications of true orgasm, to the point at which one is starting to become near-adult in their "stature", is the exact same size and reaction range that feels comfortable and satisfying to me and gives me a sense of accomplishment as well. So maybe the magical "two year rule" is more appropriate for me than I first thought. Reminder: I was 13 until last month.

So I get a great deal of mental pleasure just from having someone in my mouth. There's more though. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have female equipment and have them in me, intimately partaking of what I have to offer, and how thrilling that seems at first glance. Let me define what I am saying by defining what I am NOT saying. Not talking about anal sex, that is a whole different ballgame, and of no interest whatsoever at this stage of my life. I am not talking about the emotional maturity that is typical for a female of my age either. And I'm not talking about having the slow, steadily-building rise to orgasm that I understand females experience. As a guy, I just don't understand "slow" :-)

I'm talking about the same pleasure I get now, perhaps even with a more physical, sexual connotation, building to a typically male orgasm, but having a place in my crotch for all this to take place. Yes, pure fantasy. I have occasionally had an older brother (of a friend) put a tree-log "pillow" under my neck and get atop me and engage in oral sex that way. With someone old enough to really get into the work of it all, it's not a bad position for me and I can get into it as a whole different experience. Nice. An entire "flip", if you will, on giving oral sex.

It's akin to this that I wonder about being a female. I know what they call girls that are as "adventurous" as I am. And I realize that, when it comes to straight sex, guys can be real jerks. But disregarding all other factors, and thinking only of the experience of sex itself, I am curious. I bet I'm not the only one. And I don't think that anal sex would be the same at all, not what I am imagining. The forums here move from surveys that include "would you do a H/J with a friend?" to questions about B/Js, anal, and I've even seen rim-jobs (analingus) mentioned. But I've never seen anyone ask whether other have this fantasy. It can't be just me.

So, it is after this new low-point that I regrettably announce that I am no longer, with schoolwork, going to be able to keep this a weekly blog. Let my try bi-weekly. Or maybe the mods will remove all rules about "story-telling" and I can describe what happens in Nicky's Nook in more detail. :yeah:
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  1. Old Comment
    maxii's Forum Picture
    wow :]
    Posted October 9th, 2011 at 06:16 PM by maxii maxii is offline
 

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