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You have entered the Underground, there is no turning back now. Darkness is dragging you in, light is fading out of the picture. Enshrouded in darkness, reading may be hard, but at this point, reading will be the only pleasure at your disposal.
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Hmmm...

Posted July 14th, 2008 at 06:57 PM by Underground_Network

I haven't made a blog in awhile, so yeah. Right now life is okay, I mean its not shit and I don't want to kill myself or anything, but I know it could be 1000X better... I still lack confidence and I'm still shy as hell, but I think things are getting better. I've lost touch with nearly all my friends from school [a lot of them are away anyways] but in turn I've made a lot of new friends at the camp I'm working at. I already had 3-4 friends that chose to return this year and we're still great buds, but this year I've made quite a few new friends and I've finally started to talk to some girls [though not girls I like/find "hot"]...

I still don't have that much of a social life and I still spend a lot of time doing nothing and it seems like my laziness and low work ethic are partially fucking up my life at the moment... I just don't like to do anything... Part of that is a lack of motivation and another part of that is consistent and constant failure. It seems like I always fail. I mean, then again, I don't always try all that hard, but it seems that even when I do I'm not successful.

I never meet anyone's standards. I never do as well as my dad wants me to, and thus I always feel as if I didn't do my best. I seem to always let down my dad, and I don't know why, as he's not the greatest person in the world anyway, but I just wish I could make him appreciate me. I just wish to him I wasn't such a screw up. I wish I could make him realize I can be someone. I wish he would realize that I'm human. I wish he could realize that I make mistakes, I do stupid things. I'm a fucking teenager for chrissakes...

I don't know, I guess life isn't all that bad, but still, I have summer assignments to do, there are a few books I want to read, and there are a bunch of other things I want to do... I wish I'd spend a lot less time on the computer too... Meh, who knows where my life is headed...
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