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You have entered the Underground, there is no turning back now. Darkness is dragging you in, light is fading out of the picture. Enshrouded in darkness, reading may be hard, but at this point, reading will be the only pleasure at your disposal.
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When is life not worth living?

Posted June 23rd, 2009 at 08:08 PM by Underground_Network

I don't know. The one thing keeping me alive right now is a person. She knows who she is. And she knows how much I care for her. But other than her there's not much keeping me alive at the moment.

I just looked through my yearbook, and when you have no pictures in a book as thick as our yearbook, you know you're a nobody, and a screw up. I've done nothing to get noticed or to become somebody in life. I've done nothing at all. I'm fucking lazy and that's led me to become so f-ing depressed. I'm shy, I'm reserved, I'm a major procrastinator, and I just don't care about school enough, but I still get low A's/high B's in honors/AP classes.

I don't know what I honestly have to live for. I know my mom cares for me, but I don't even think I can trust her at this point. I know I can't trust my dad. I have no truly close friends. I chicken out whenever they want to get together. I don't care much about school anymore, and getting good grades means nothing to me. I never go to any social events because I'm just too f-ing shy and too f-ing lazy and too f-ing afraid. Its like fear runs my life. I'm literally TOO AFRAID TO LIVE.

I don't know if there's ever a point where life is honestly not worth living, but if there is a point where life isn't worth living, I'm very near that point... If my life were a map, and that point were a dot on the map, I would be the tack stabbed into the map, just to the left of the dot, and the tack is slowly slipping out of the map, drifting more and more toward its right...
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Sunshine Girl's Forum Picture
    try not to consentrate on all the bad things
    Posted June 23rd, 2009 at 09:35 PM by Sunshine Girl Sunshine Girl is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Underground_Network's Forum Picture
    You're seriously amazing Ster.

    But I don't know.... Sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed.
    Posted June 24th, 2009 at 05:55 AM by Underground_Network Underground_Network is offline
  3. Old Comment
    BlackenedSilver's Forum Picture
    Life is never not worth living.
    You have so much potential to do great things, if you concentrate on the future and work towards that then the present become more and more planned out.
    About the shy-ness, hang around with people that are social, but you are comftable with. Then they will introduce you to new people so your social circle can slowly grow and you then become more comftable with the people you've been introduced to.
    I don't know if it will work or if you have tried it before, but if you havnt tried it, it is worth it.You become more well known that way. Sometimes you just have to step out of your comfort zone, it will be scary and it will be hard but once it's done, it's usually not regretted.
    Posted June 26th, 2009 at 11:27 AM by BlackenedSilver BlackenedSilver is offline
 

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