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silverycold
February 14th, 2011, 01:48 AM
so im not sure if i have an illness or not. i recently watched a bunch of movies(past half year or year) that involved people who more or less were crazy/mentally ill.(shutter island) within the past month though, everything seemed weird. i guess a few symptoms are like i used to think i was jesus or like a reincarnated version cause i had a weird cross looking birthmark on my finger. i always think my parents are talking about me and do everything i can to prove they are(looking through emails of theirs and texts, listening from another room) i also thought that every guy was out to steal my girlfriend. it sure seemed like it and it drove me crazy. whenever i get extremely emotional( angry, sad , happy but to the extreme) i hallucinate by seeing things, hearings things and i feel high(i did used to do drugs so im not sure if thats why). my thoughts have always been jumbled. i will start talking about one thing, a minute passes and i talk about something else, but they conect in my head but not in the convo. and then after that i go back to the first thing. recently(past 2 weeks) i just cant focus in school and i cant do homework, i wanna and know i have to, but i cant like i sit down and just dont do it but rather stare at the ground looking for something. i have a pretty normal social life, lots of friends, decent in school (Cs compared to frehman years Ds) but im a little shy, usually come off sad or tired. i also am not sure about bipolar either. i can be pretty depressed feeling(i dont know if it is being depressed cause i dont know what its like, ive felt these as long as i can remember, or if its just normal emotions) and then other times ill be extremely happy and everyone notices, even one of my teachers notices the change. that teacher who says something now is my favorite teacher because he cares enough to say something. not many people will ask you if your ok when yourdown and it was extremely sincere. i dont get bullied really but im pretty skinny and tall(not awkward though) and i dont wanna be skinny(rather normal) and when people mention it i am not a happy camper. umm idk if thats it but if anyome has anything to say thatd be great. and i wouldnt be asking if i knew i had it. but these things seem absolutlely normal, likr being jesus is a normal thought for me, and i dream i was at all the events he did and stuff and its all real to me. yet i assure myself im no prophet :p. oh and like i kinda believe i can not so much read minds, but i know a persons next move. idk if thats just people and their patterns or me being weird or what. well thats it i suppose now, i dont know where else to go to ask, im never gunna talk to anyone about it except good friends who wouldnt say anything. and yea
thanks
bye

Charleigh
February 17th, 2011, 01:16 PM
Ok, you say you used to take drugs, how long are you off of them?

Keeping this to yourself, isnt the best. I would go and get some help to make sure you havent got this illness. Also, I think you might just be paranoid, but just incase I would get yourself checked out and tell the professionalls this.

Im here if you need anything hun.
:hug: