View Full Version : Paranoid Schizophrenia? Help!?

September 9th, 2010, 04:37 PM
I have paranoid schizophrenia. I'm only 14, but these symptoms have been going on for as long as I can remember:
~Always paranoid. Thinking someone's trying to kill me.
~Panic attacks because of my paranoia.
~Delusions-thinking I have special powers for a while, thinking I was a vampire, thinking I was a werewolf, thinking I was psychic.
~Auditory Hallucinations. Hearing a faint voice calling out my name.
~Not minding my hygiene.
~Spacing out all the time.
~Feeling like I'm not me, and I'm just on the outside looking in. As if I'm doing everything without emotion.
~A lot of trouble concentrating.
~Always having to be moving.

New symptoms that happened later on (a bout a year or two ago):
~Hearing sounds other than the usual voice calling my name. Creaking stairs, doors opening, light switches turning on or off.
~There are some more delusions. There are two monsters that live in the upstairs bathroom that decide (while I'm there) whether or not I'm worth keeping alive. If they ever decide that I'm not worth it, they'll electrocute me. Also, every time a car drives by the house at night I have to lay extremely still so they don't see me and throw a grenade through my window and kill us all.
~I have to be nice to all inanimate objects or else they will hurt me.

There a few more things that happen that I can't really remember right now.

I can't tell anyone about it. No one knows. I told my mom about the voice calling my name but she says it's just in my head and I'm not really hearing anything. She completely blew it off. I tried telling my friend and she thought I was joking so I was just like "yeah... I was just joking..." even though I wasn't. I want to see the school counselor but my friend keeps going no they're just there for school stuff. And they don't really care about you and you're not supposed to talk to them for anything except school related things. However, in Middle school I cut myself for a time and I went to the school counselor for that (I no longer do it nor do I desire to.). Help!

I really don't want to take medication. I think it will just mess me up in the long run or I'll become addicted to them or something. Besides, where would I get them? I can't go to any store without my parents to drive me (I'm 14) and my mom wont take me to the doctor. I'll ask her when my next check up is and I'll try to tell the doctor then, but that wont be for a while. Is there anything I can do to help with all the paranoia? When I get angry (I am easily aggravated) I feel as if I really want to hurt someone but of course I don't ever. Also, I'm not a danger or other people OR animals. I love animals :) But yeah, so what can I do? I feel so trapped :(