im buggin...im trippen

[kolte]

we need a general discussions for mental illness becaue im not haveng a mental crisis. but i am going insane. ive noticed, more and more, and so have others. I cant communicate anymore, I'm so incoherent all the time, nobody knows what Im trying to tell them anymore. people are justl ike, what the fuck are you talking about???? and i really dont know. im finding that im my own best friend reall, I can confide in myself, and other people are fools. all of them. they talk without consideration and they insult people without provication. ive taken to keeping my mouth shut, and speaking only when spoken to. i was contemplating suicide the other day, not because of depression, but becasue of anxiety. and guilt. unfounded guilt. no reason. i cant ride the bus, im to scared. i cant talk to people i once considered friends, too scared. im afried to eat alone, but driven crazy thinking about eating with other people.

i wonder.

am i inheriting schizoprenia. am i doomed to never achive all the things i so wanted to? political sucess? now simply a fools dream? Animation and sound acting, so close to my fingertips....yet so far away.

I hate me and I hate you.

:eek::eek:

[Vegas]

I know your going to say I don't have experience but Schizoprenzia isn't bad, you just have to learn to cope.

[kolte]

Not everyone can cope though. And most don't. I cant afford medication or physc theropy.

[Vegas]

That's one of the problems... seek help through friends.....go to a school conselor (some colleges have them). Finding a way to cope is a big problem..One that if you want to still succeed.. you have to solve.

[kolte]

But how would I even begin to cope? I can barely communitcate with people anymore?

[Vegas]

You go see a conselor.... they have special programs.

[kolte]

special programs that cost money. money that I dont have.

[Vegas]

You can afford to get into college though.. odd... Well Kolte I guess I can't help you. Sorry.

[kolte]

who said i could afford it n.n. im gonna be in debt to my eyeballs

[lithium chain.]

You can afford to get into college though.. odd... Well Kolte I guess I can't help you. Sorry.

Bobby, it's called student loans, FAFSA.

Sorry I'm so late Kolte.

Is there a local hospital that won't turn people away? Go to the ER. If you can't afford health care, they have to do something. Your 16, right? They can't let you, a minor, be subject to having no health care.

Does TX have a state healthcare program where low-income people can get to the doctor, to therapy, etc?

I'm sure your afraid of having psychiatric treatment on your record for political campaigns - but what's the point of worrying about that if you do something to hurt yourself and cut up your chances before you get there?

There's help out there, you just have to find it.

Btw, could it be loneliness that's causing the problem? Are you by yourself too much? Trying to interact more, but little by little, could help.

Good luck Kolte. If you need to shoot me a PM. You were there along with so many other amazing people at VT when I needed it. It's my turn to return the favor. :)

[syd]

Whoa, I feel sort of the same, I'Ve Noticed a few of the things you've described in myself lately in the passed year or so.