View Full Version : what is wrong with me i'm scared?

December 1st, 2009, 01:38 PM
I sometimes feel like i'm not myself. Sometimes in conversations with friends they will mention important things, like things you should never forget, liek your boyfriends party, the break up with past boyfriend, the big fight between you and your friend, and now your apparently not speaking. But it's not just that I odn't remeber anythign from th months those things were happening... It scares me. MY boyfriend and I were ubsessed with this song for about a month and its' on my ipod, we had dozens of conversations on how it wold be our wedding song, and how it makes me cry when i think of you i miss you... that sort of thing. And when he recently brought the name of the song up I did not remeber it. When I did I said that I thought that song was boring... he started to cry he asked me if i remebered anything from the song. I said no why? and he told me about our conversations and obsessions. He saves our conversations online... so i can see them. Why do I not remeber? I also sometimes wake up wiht scratches on my face, and cuts up my arm. My boy friend says i'm like 2 different people he described one as an uptight, strict Christian, fearing hell, and my other personality as carefree, pagan. I am pagan. But my mtoher confronted me the other day on how happy she was that i was Christian again. MY boyfriend of course upset because he is pagan... it's weird I feel like soemtimes i'm not myself or soemtimes i can't control what i'm doing. i'm watching myself spazz. I'll act like a child cryign on the floor screaming and laughing... i'm insane... Other times i feel like I can't control the siccors in my hand... and i can't stop myself from hurting. Sometimes I talk to myslef. My teacher points it out... itts not in a bad way though. I haven't been like this before its just this year... i've been through a lot. My parents want to divorce, and i'm having trouble with dislexia, and eating disorders, depression, i can't seem to keep friends.. i have them, but because i didn't in middle school i'm used to being on my own and i'm always paranoid! I cry to my mom sometimes telling her I can't go to school because people, my frends (i only have 2) are out to get me. I have really bad anxiety attacks and sometimes i hear a high picthed beeping sound that is only in my head... i'm scared... I dont' kno why. sure its not like every week, but its like every month at least 2 anxiety attacks, and when i lose control thats maybe once a month..

February 19th, 2010, 12:06 AM
Yeah it's somewhat like Schizo but truely it is a form of multipul personalities. I know the feeling. I dont wake up with scratches or anything or wake up not remembering but sometimes I will just feel distant and I will somtimes act one way and then others act completly different dont worry as long as you talk to people you should be fine and try to record alot more things it will help so you can remember when you come back in. If you scared talk to a theripist or something. Hoped I helped