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MichaelAdams1993
September 4th, 2009, 10:50 AM
Hey everyone. I plan on coming out soon but I am not sure about how to go about it. I don't want advice so much as I just want to hear how others went about it and from that I will piece together the best way to do it in my situation. I know my case is different then anyone else's. Everyone has a unique situation. I just believe your stories will say more to me then your advice will.

Thanks for your help!

MisterMonster
September 4th, 2009, 11:32 AM
well, i didn't come out as such, people just realised.
When people asked me if i was gay i just went "nope"
if thy asked if i wsa bi i just went "yes"
I never did this huge coming out gathering all my friends and family.

NextToNormal
September 4th, 2009, 03:13 PM
when i came out to my best friend, i did it by telling her i was dating her other best friend. with a couple of my other friends, they already knew and were just waiting for me to say something. and two of my friends just flat out asked me.

The Harlequin
September 4th, 2009, 04:35 PM
Well I first came out when I was on holiday with my stepmother and father, but I kinda just told her when we were alone in the kitchen and I just had to say it, she was fine with it and encouraged me to go tell my dad who was on his desktop...

Then I came home and asked my sister if I could have a word and she said yeah, I started a discussion about something else and then told her I was bi, she was fine with it and then SHE encouraged me to go tell my mother, it was sorta an open discussion though so the other members of my family ended up finding out in the space of a minute or so... But it took them all by surprise apparently (:^,

MichaelAdams1993
September 6th, 2009, 10:48 PM
This great everyone!

I could use more detail if possible and I need all types of stories, the good ones and the bad ones and I mean it!!!!

Thanks again :)

thepieman
September 7th, 2009, 03:27 PM
Well I'm not out out, but people started to guess I was bi last year. At first I denied it, as I was still undecided myself, yet I've since began to stop denying rumours. Some friends just know, and they're fine about it, if a little weird about it at first. But I haven't come out properly to family or other friends yet, and like you I'm not sure of the best way.

MichaelAdams1993
September 7th, 2009, 06:01 PM
Thanks guys. I also need a little specific advice. My mom is a counselor at a high school in a neighboring town to the one we live in and I attend school in. She used to work at the school I attend but hasn't since before I was born, yet she still knows some people. Since the town isn't very big, people know everyone as well and my mom also knows a lot of people at the school even if she didn't work with them before simply because she is a counselor at a close by school. Plus, I have a step-brother who will now be in the school and while he is still in the middle school (I'm in the high school) he will still interact with some people I know. My dad is homophobic and I think my step-dad may be as well. I don't want my mom to find out from people at school if I come out and I don't want my dad to find out from anyone, (yet) which I can see happening since my step-bro lives with him (I live with my mom).

So you can see how my situation is...any advice?

Don't forget to keep the stories coming as well!!!!!!!

tripolar
September 7th, 2009, 06:48 PM
Michael if you come out at school, chances are your mom and brother will find out. Think about it if you come out at school people will go home and tell their brothers/sisters and if they are in middle school they'll come to school the next day and tell your brother, that you came out as gay then your brother might tell your mom. Everyone will find out because word will spread.

Its a chain you'll come out then your brother will find out from them, your mom will find out from your brother and your dad will find out from your mom. There really is no way you can come out with out the people you don't want to know, knowing.

MichaelAdams1993
September 7th, 2009, 09:17 PM
You missed the step brother part. My mom and dad don't live together and I have a step-dad and step-mom as well. My step-bro, the one in Middle School lives with my dad and step-mom (his mom). And I live with my mom and step-dad. So, he wouldn't tell my mom, although I don't know if he would tell my dad either cause they aren't neccessarily on good terms but they do have normal human convo. That is the part I am worried about. Do you think it is possible to tell my step-bro and have him not tell my dad?

tripolar
September 7th, 2009, 11:06 PM
If your brother and step-dad are close he might say something. Also if you make your brother mad he may use it against you.

beedubs
September 9th, 2009, 10:11 PM
I told my parents and they took me to therapy..... Fml

diamond jetstream
September 10th, 2009, 02:07 AM
first "beedubs" i feel bad that your parents took you to therapy thats harsh.secondly i attempted to come out but.....well i chickened out. the only one that knows is my best friend who went on vt and saw my posts and now we are going out.:) i am so happy that he was bi aswell otherwise i would have no one apart from vt friends that know:P

MichaelAdams1993
September 10th, 2009, 10:04 PM
diamond jetstream, I wish I could have your experience even not with VT but finding out that a friend was gay (or bi) and starting to date secretly somehow would be cool. What a confidence booster.

beedubs: that sucks, I am so sorry, are you still in it or what happened?

Johnny_John
April 5th, 2010, 02:52 PM
i believe there is a page on this site to help with coming out.
If not check out

Another site to help.

Obscene Eyedeas
April 5th, 2010, 03:05 PM
:locked: please do not bump old threads