View Full Version : Confusion - nothing new for me at least

March 29th, 2009, 11:23 PM
Well I just joined and I guess I might as well post this to see if anyone has any insight.

A good friend of mine who's a girl, lets establish I'm a guy so there's no confusion. Well she is a flirt, I've known her well for 2, maybe 3 years and she never really flirted with me. She flirted with a lot of guys, not all she liked but never really me. She saw me as a friend and although I still liked her I accepted that and put those feelings in the back of my mind. The past year we've been doing more stuff together, although my schedule is a little busy and don't see her as much as I probably should. Oh did I mention she goes to a co-ed high school and I'm at a private all boys school, I know her from elementary school but we didn't really connect until after that, we stayed in touch which was nice! Anyway in the fall I got a feeling she may have liked me, but convinced she only saw me as a friend, I crushed my own hopes. About a month ago my friend randomly said she told him she liked me in the fall. I thought about it, I usually don't forget that kind of stuff.

About 2 weeks ago we started texting a little more than usual, she even called me on the phone, just to talk...I've never really done that before (All boys middle and high school kind of puts you back a little) Well we had a pretty good conversation, talked maybe 45 minutes or so. Well she's been flirting with me, or at least I think, over text within the two weeks. But we talked about relationships a little (not me and her, just mostly her and all guys) and she basically said she likes just flirting and doesn't really want a relationship now. Well the flirting continued and yesterday she called me and BEGGED me to come to one of our friends house with her, there would be 2 other guys there and one girl, I mean she begged, I don't know how many times she said PLEASE, it made me really want to go, but busy schedule as I had, play practice, couldn't go. -_-

So what is your interpretation of this? Am I Paranoid and letting feelings get the best of me? Should I go for it and screw up a good friendship? Should I just wait to see what she does next? :what:

Oh and I know I sort of rambled this out, so if you need me to clarify anything just go ahead and ask!

Thanks for reading!

March 30th, 2009, 07:54 PM
This type of situation comes up a lot here. Here's my two second response: I think people get caught up in semantics too much.

Obviously she likes you, whatever that means. Maybe that ambiguity is the hard part. But, only b/c we like to 'know', knowledge makes us less anxious. But, by clarifyng something before it really exists, you sometimes miss some good opportunities to actually get what you want, even if you don't know what to call it.

But, if you can tolerate the ambiguity (and the anxiety), and just 'go with it', hang out with her, enjoy her, and see what develops, you'll know soon enough what she wants, and what she means by 'no relationship'. A friendship is a relationship, remember, and it doesn't need defining like 'going out'. And, it can feel just as close and just as good, and develop just like a 'g/f'', and b/c it doesn't have the baggaage of 'going out', a lot of people are more Ok with that then with the more formal 'going out'.

Just take it slow and see what develops and don't look to label it. It will become clear soon enough what it all means.

March 30th, 2009, 08:11 PM
Wow, thanks a lot IAMSAM. That seems just about like the perfect answer. I'll do exactly that. I guess your right, just don't fret about it and see what comes of everything. Thank you!

March 30th, 2009, 08:16 PM
*sigh* Another satisfied customer! Good luck, and feel free to let me know how it goes!

March 30th, 2009, 08:46 PM
You know i was responding to this when my comp crashed.... SAM stole my thing!!!! AGHFGSDHFGAHFH

March 30th, 2009, 08:57 PM
Thanks IAMSAM, I will!

Haha sorry Sbrocksdaworld, you still get an A for effort, thanks anyway!!

Viral Death
March 30th, 2009, 10:53 PM
*sigh* Another satisfied customer! Good luck, and feel free to let me know how it goes!

What is the problem there is something wrong?