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Lady_Chaos
March 22nd, 2009, 06:34 PM
Okay, so I was at the movies with my BF and he asked me "So, if we were at your house... and no one was around... and we had protection... would you have sex with me?" and I said "Yes"

I am kinda regretting saying yes but its the truth... do you think that was the right answer?

Aηdy
March 22nd, 2009, 06:35 PM
Only you know really. But if you're doubting yourself then I don't think you are ready for sex just yet.

IAMSAM
March 22nd, 2009, 09:00 PM
I think the issue isn't so much the answer you gave but rather what the expectation now is. You basically said you want to have sex with him, should the situation make itself available. That could change things! You might want to clarify that, so there's no awkwardness or any crossed signals about this.

Having sex isn't just about having a condom and not having parents around. That's the next part of the convo, your readiness for it, not just the availability of it.

IAMWILL
March 22nd, 2009, 09:46 PM
Well Sam said it, but think about this?

Would you actually have sex with him if all that happened?

You should answer honestly, and think before you do. He should understand either way, but by saying yes here you just gave him the go ahead to get naked and have sex with you next time you're home alone.

Lady_Chaos
March 23rd, 2009, 03:29 PM
Well, here's the thing, I don't want to have sex. I'm not ready to have sex, and it's not going to happen any time soon. I talked to him about the question and he said it was a "spur of the moment" kinda thing. We were making out and we were both really aroused so that's probably why he asked. And he wants to move at my pace... so he wont force me into doing anything I don't want to do. I was just wondering if I'm too young to even think about that type of thing...

IAMWILL
March 23rd, 2009, 06:29 PM
Well...

As long as he doesn't force you into anything, and doesn't pressure you to do anything, its fine. He was right, it was pretty much a in-the-moment thing, so you got that pretty down. As for age, well how old are you? There is no set age, only rough guidelines set by others. Just follow your heart, and you will know. Be careful though, don't do anything you don't like, and be protected ;)

IAMSAM
March 23rd, 2009, 10:18 PM
(Golly, that Will guy is really on top of things!)

There's no set age for these things, but as you've doscovered, soemtimes getting aroused interferes with sound judgement, so be careful.

Sex is about emotions, too, and those often get forgotten in the heat of the moment. You know you're ready (amongst other ways) when you can think clearly in *that* moment and make a decision based on your feelings and emotional readiness, not just pure arousal.

Lady_Chaos
March 24th, 2009, 03:26 PM
Just to let you know, I took my time and answered after a lot of thinking. BTW I am 14.

Thanks for answering my question guys =D

IAMWILL
March 24th, 2009, 05:29 PM
No problem, ya I would say 14 is a little young, but that's just my opinion. Well, it is also illegal..... but ya..... anyway, just answer how you would in real life.

gwash85
March 31st, 2009, 12:26 PM
let him know youre not ready...but dont get pressured into it. that'll just be even worse! :)

jack straw
April 1st, 2009, 03:09 PM
Well, here's the thing, I don't want to have sex. I'm not ready to have sex, and it's not going to happen any time soon. I talked to him about the question and he said it was a "spur of the moment" kinda thing. We were making out and we were both really aroused so that's probably why he asked. And he wants to move at my pace... so he wont force me into doing anything I don't want to do. I was just wondering if I'm too young to even think about that type of thing...

14 seems to be the typical age for situations like this; I was in it last year, and I see many 14 year old kids in the same situation. Those "Spur of the moment" kinda things can get a little crazy, and I went almost all the way :eek:, even though when I wasn't with her, I didn't think I was ready for it. when we would be together, I lost my sense of judgement, (Partly because she was the first girl I had ever dated, so I didn't know what to expect and just went ahead wildly inlove).

It's good to know that you've thought it through and decided that your not ready yet, which shows alot of maturity. Many 14 year olds in my area just meet up at a party one night, get drunk and have sex (I personally have not done any of those things, but from the stories/pictures my friends come back with after a weekend, they do)

Sbrocksdaworld and IAMSAM are right; you need to make sure of your feelings before you make any possibly life changing decisions, and to only do what your comfortable with.