Please, Hear Me Out

[CrazyBeautiful69]

My Friend was a guy like no other. He was seriousely the most upbeat, outgoing, seemingly happy guy I have ever known. He was the type of guy who no matter what, would drop anything If you had a problem, you could talk to him about anything and he'd never judge you, he could make you laugh even if you had been crying about something for hours. He was what kept me sane, strong, happy.. virtually okay. Thinking back about him now and reading everything I have wrote about him. I would never of guessed that I would be sitting here now being so mad at him and hurting because of him. March 26th 2005 my friend, took his life. My happy, smiling, amazing friend decided that he no longer could continue on living. March 26th 2005 changed my entire life, It has changed me in so many ways. I no longer trust my freinds, I find myself constantly questioning are they happy? I cry everynight before I go to sleep, I can't focus on alot of things and sometimes I even think that maybe life is just bullshit and things would be easier for me and other people I was gone. So for anyone who is thinking that suicide is the answer..please know how I feel. No one should feel the way I feel everday of my life. Get help while you can, please do not let your friends and family go through this. If I could have one wish in the world, I wish my friend would of told me how he was really feeling, maybe I could of helped him..I'm gonna live with this for the rest of my life, Im gonna feel blame forever and it SUCKS. You dont have too...Thanks for listenin.
P.s- Your smile is burned into my memories..I Miss you.............

[ΦρανψοΒριτ]

Wow. I am extremely sorry for your loss. I know how much it hurts when you loose someone you love. I am sorry he went in such a tragic way. I'm glad that you would not look to suicide or SH because of his actions. He sounded like an amazing person. If you ever want someone to talk to, I'll be here!

[CrazyBeautiful69]

He was super amazing...and thats why It's so hard to understand why he did what he did, he left no warning signs, and he always seemed so happy.
Thanks a ton, I'm doing good but more support always helps. I just don't want anyone to be in the place he was in, or the place I am in now. No one wants to feel this.
We should definitly talk sometime.
-CrazyBeautiful69

[ΦρανψοΒριτ]

Well sometimes people deal with their problems by bottling them all up, until they explode. Many people just have mental breakdowns. He was probably having some trauma in his life that he didn't know how to handle, and so he let it all go in the most severe way. Thank you for that inspirational piece though

[CrazyBeautiful69]

I've learn't now that he had been doing exactly what you said. He had been dealing with something that was hurting him for two years, not telling anyone. I just wish he would of known how much he could of trusted me you know? He could of told me anything. I loved him. I've decided that instead of being sad that hes gone, I have to be happy that I knew him. He gave me some amazing memories and touched me in so many ways. He made me a better person.. I hope everyone has the chance to know someone like him. The world would be better off -CrazyBeautiful69

[ΦρανψοΒριτ]

It's probably not that he didn't think he could trust you. He probably just didn't want to annoy you, even if it wouldn't. Would he want you to be sad about it? Than don't!

[CrazyBeautiful69]

I know he wouldn't want me to be sad.. It's just easier said then done. I mean for the rest of my life I have to live with the way I seen him for the last time, laying on the floor. It's a picture that breaks my heart every single time It runs through my head. No one wants to see that and It will stay in my mind forever. I just wish I could od helped him...

[Silence]

Wow, I’m so sorry. Thank you so much for sharing with everyone.

Hang in there,
:hug:

[ΦρανψοΒριτ]

I'm making this a sticky, as I think it is good for a depressed person to read

[Kiros]

ditto...

It really makes you think, and that's why more should read it.

[xdeviancex]

There are others who love you like how you loved him...so dont put them in the same suffering. Just keep that in mind...

[diStURbEd]

Tha litterily brought tears to my eys man. I feel sorry for you. If you need a friend you can PM me (ok, yeah that sounds strange) but you know. I think I could help I just want you to know that :)

[CrazyBeautiful69]

Thanks a Bunch.. Support Means Alot..
I'll tty all later

[Underage_Thinker]

That is terrible. Somtimes people hold somthing inside so long that they just exsplode and do somthing that they would not normally do.

[Toongig]

I'm sorry for your loss. I cried al little. Fine... Maybe alot. I'm just too sensitive. anyway, don't pay attion to liitle ol me.

[Luckylee218]

At least he is in a happy place where he doesn't have to deal with any more pain...

[m_shell]

wow, that was really sad. i almost started to cry...

espically when you say this, which reminds me of myself: It's so hard to understand why he did what he did, he left no warning signs, and he always seemed so happy.

[Drug Sniffer Dog]

Thats a very sad story and im sorry it has came accross you. But onto the point, wasnt it the Bible itself that shows that God sentenced Adam and Eve to live on Earth as a punishment for eating the fruit that they were specifically told not to eat? Maybe [for christians and catholic] this is why so many people end their lives on Earth, (Because it wass a punishment, and meant to be a bad thing).

[sammm]

hey im new, i just read your story and im really sorry but i know how you feel, the same thing happened to me, and it does really suck but hang in there if you ever wanna talk to someone ill be here to:)

[amos]

you can think, when you look at them they're happy, but when you look again deep inside there heart's they're broken. we can never judge a book by it cover, cause the inside is most beautiful thing in nearly everyone.

you think there happy, you think their's nothink wrong, they say their nothink wrong, they say their happy and they show it so you believe it.

it not really untill you get to know someone to weither there heart is broken or not

if someone truly wants to die and in there hearts they are ready, they tell no one. They make most the time they want and then they end it with everyone thinking there life is perfect and they do it so no one understands.

This is no one fault and for your friend it truly not your fault, your frined died not want to tell you becuase he new you try help him, he new you loved him enough to try stop him.. he did not want help, he did not want stoping, he wanted you there to have someone to love him for one last time. he probable died happy man to becuase he helped you even thought he was so low inside.

when someone made up there mind there is no chnaging it and there no one who is good enought to change a stubborn mind

it not that he did not love you, it not that he did not care about you and i truly knwo he would not want you feel like this.

you never know and your never understand his death, but you can not blame for self for this cause he would not want that ever.

you can keep sayin to your self im crap firend i could be there i could changed it, i could do this and that, but no stop. He does not want this, he want's you to remember him for what he did for you before he died he want you to accept he could not go on no more. he want you to accept his desion even thought it such hard thing to do

he felt you angyre, anoyyed, upset hurt in way no one else can understand inless they been thought it them self's, a pain that hurts that no one can even put words to it.

you know what he did is wrong becuase it hurt you and you know that it hurt others if you did it, you know people should nto feel way you do but nor should you hunni

this is hard thing to do and it easyier said than done but you have move on. you have trust your frineds cause if u can not trust them who can u trust. right now you need someoen beside you not aggest you. for 2 is better than one, join sheild together a one and fight the battle togehter as 1


My Friend was a guy like no other. He was seriousely the most upbeat, outgoing, seemingly happy guy I have ever known. He was the type of guy who no matter what, would drop anything If you had a problem, you could talk to him about anything and he'd never judge you, he could make you laugh even if you had been crying about something for hours. He was what kept me sane, strong, happy.. virtually okay. Thinking back about him now and reading everything I have wrote about him. I would never of guessed that I would be sitting here now being so mad at him and hurting because of him. March 26th 2005 my friend, took his life. My happy, smiling, amazing friend decided that he no longer could continue on living. March 26th 2005 changed my entire life, It has changed me in so many ways. I no longer trust my freinds, I find myself constantly questioning are they happy? I cry everynight before I go to sleep, I can't focus on alot of things and sometimes I even think that maybe life is just bullshit and things would be easier for me and other people I was gone. So for anyone who is thinking that suicide is the answer..please know how I feel. No one should feel the way I feel everday of my life. Get help while you can, please do not let your friends and family go through this. If I could have one wish in the world, I wish my friend would of told me how he was really feeling, maybe I could of helped him..I'm gonna live with this for the rest of my life, Im gonna feel blame forever and it SUCKS. You dont have too...Thanks for listenin.
P.s- Your smile is burned into my memories..I Miss you.............

[amos]

you can think, when you look at them they're happy, but when you look again deep inside there heart's they're broken. we can never judge a book by it cover, cause the inside is most beautiful thing in nearly everyone.

you think there happy, you think their's nothink wrong, they say their nothink wrong, they say their happy and they show it so you believe it.

it not really untill you get to know someone to weither there heart is broken or not.

if someone truly wants to die and in there hearts they are ready, they tell no one. They make most the time they want and then they end it. With everyone thinking there life is perfect and they do it so no one understands.

This is no one fault and for your friend it truly not your fault, your frined died not want to tell you becuase he new you try help him, he new you loved him enough to try stop him.. he did not want help, he did not want stoping, he wanted you there to have someone to love him for one last time. he probable died happy man to becuase he helped you even thought he was so low inside.

when someone made up there mind there is no chnaging it and there no one who is good enought to change a stubborn mind.

it not that he did not love you, it not that he did not care about you and i truly know he would not want you feel like this.

you never now and your never understand his death, but you can not blame your self for this cause he would not want that ever.

you can keep sayin to your self im crap firend, i could have been there, i could changed it, i could do this and that, but no stop. He does not want this, he want's you to remember him for what he did for you before he died he want's you to accept he could not go on no more. he want you to accept his desion even thought it such hard thing to do.

he left you angyre, anoyyed, upset hurt in way no one else can understand inless they been thought it them self's, a pain that hurts that no one can even put words to it.

you know what he did is wrong becuase it hurt you and you know that it hurt others if you did it, you know people should nto feel way you do but nor should you hunni.

this is hard thing to do and it easyier said than done but you have move on. you have trust your frineds cause if u can not trust them who can u trust. right now you need someoen beside you not aggest you. for 2 is better than one, join sheild together a one and fight the battle togehter as 1. alone shall faid and shall then gain regreats later on.

hun please don't let this not trust ur frineds u need them. It like the old saying "you can choice your firneds but you can not choice ur family"

i think there most two most imporant things in are lives friends and family we need them everyone does just rmemeber don't lose them. you can get thougth this hun you just need people around you and also you need to relise it not your fault he killed him self, it his. There was nothink you could haver done to change it or to change his mind.

im really sorry hun i hope im not been to hard and i hope sometthis helps im sorry if it does not. byebyexxx


My Friend was a guy like no other. He was seriousely the most upbeat, outgoing, seemingly happy guy I have ever known. He was the type of guy who no matter what, would drop anything If you had a problem, you could talk to him about anything and he'd never judge you, he could make you laugh even if you had been crying about something for hours. He was what kept me sane, strong, happy.. virtually okay. Thinking back about him now and reading everything I have wrote about him. I would never of guessed that I would be sitting here now being so mad at him and hurting because of him. March 26th 2005 my friend, took his life. My happy, smiling, amazing friend decided that he no longer could continue on living. March 26th 2005 changed my entire life, It has changed me in so many ways. I no longer trust my freinds, I find myself constantly questioning are they happy? I cry everynight before I go to sleep, I can't focus on alot of things and sometimes I even think that maybe life is just bullshit and things would be easier for me and other people I was gone. So for anyone who is thinking that suicide is the answer..please know how I feel. No one should feel the way I feel everday of my life. Get help while you can, please do not let your friends and family go through this. If I could have one wish in the world, I wish my friend would of told me how he was really feeling, maybe I could of helped him..I'm gonna live with this for the rest of my life, Im gonna feel blame forever and it SUCKS. You dont have too...Thanks for listenin.
P.s- Your smile is burned into my memories..I Miss you.............

[annihilate_me]

I'm sorry for your loss, and I know how you are feeling. I too have had a wonderful, magnificant friend commit suicide, over what, I don't know, and I will never know, but I know it's difficult.

[ctw4451]

Like everyone else, it is unfortunate that this event had to happen and I, too, am sorry for your loss. Now, you might feel uncomfortable with friends after the incident, so that may be why you do not trust your friends. If you need any help, PM me/anyone else, or just post a thread. :)

[whiterecyclables94]

omg im soooo sry listen if you ever need any1 to talk to u im here 4 u i bet ur thinking yea like i would ever talk to this guy if i needed help im just saying that noone deserves to go through that kind of loss im really really sorry!!!

[dem.re.cmd.exe]

Well sometimes people deal with their problems by bottling them all up, until they explode.

That's exactly what probably happened.

That was an inspirational piece of literature. The next peresosn who thinks of suicide should read that and think about who they will hurt like that. I feel incredibly bad, and I can almost relate, except I'm more like your friend...

[angryhalfdemon]

I am really sorry for your loss.

Reading this post.. kind of scares me a little.. I used to be like that, I still bottle up my feelings a lot. I'm glad I'm getting help now though.

I don't really know why people like us bottle up our feelings so much. Maybe it's something you're born with. When I was little, my brothers had a normal attention span. They could play for about 30 minutes before they got bored and moved on. I was able to do something alone for hours on end. I always liked to play alone, maybe that was the problem. You don't develop the right social skills when you play alone. Then, when you go out into the bigger world, you can't handle the social scene, so you 'pretend' you get it, to fit in. You fake your way through it all, acting happy and helpful to everyone. But it's just a mask, because on the inside, everything hurts horribly. It still takes me an enormous amount of courage to speak to someone. To be honest, people scare me... a lot. More than the voices in my head sometimes. And unfortunately, guys like me, like your friend, aren't very good at expressing inner emotions, because we feel like we really don't have anybody to talk to about their problems. So nobody can ever figure out how we're feeling. It's a horrible life. You go to school every day, acting like everything's fine, and then you go home, lock yourself in the shower, and cry until your eyes go bloodshot and you can't breathe anymore. Even when people ask us, "how are you?" "everything all right?" we lie. I don't even know why.

The only thing I can say is.. the people who feel this way, NEED TO LET THEIR FRIENDS HELP. Or let someone help. Anyone. It's NOT the end of the world to let someone know how you're feeling, because despite what you may think, there are people out there who care deeply for you, and you are an important part of their life. Don't let them down.

To the people who have good friends like this, always acting happy, always helping you out.. keep checking on them. Keep asking them how it's going, if they're alright. Let them know that they are very important to you. Keep asking, even if it seems like it's annoying them, because all they want more than anything in the whole world is someone to talk to, someone to lean on. Even the smallest kind gesture speaks volumes, and can keep a person going.

[geiri94]

Wow man i started crying while i was reading this. Sorry for your loss. I hope you all the best. ;)

[japanman]

:(o god io hop you arer fine
9sry about the spelling its hard to typee when your rying0

[The Reaper]

that made me cry...

[japanman]

this the fith time i have read this and still makes me cry but thank you so much for posting this.

[essasteph]

I know just how you feel. My friend Stephen was one of those wonderful people as well and he took his own life November of 2006.

I had the hardest time getting over it, and I still cry over him now and again, but I have memories and time does heal all wounds.

The creepy thing is that there a a song out that is called 'Stephen' by Senses Fail and it matches up perfectly with what went on, the same date and everything... it freaked me out when somebody made me listen to it.

[Darthrage]

thats intense. so sorry for your loss of your friend

[Skyer]

My uncle took his life... I know how you feel. Eagle Scout, Made millions, great person.. Gone..