Shiver
June 18th, 2008, 04:26 PM
Coming out to Family and Friends
Coming out has to be the most scariest time in a gay teens life, but I'm going to try and give you some tips and advice to make it a bit easier.
Before you use any of these make sure you choose the right person to come out to, I can't help you with that but all I can say is use good judgment.
1. Set a date. That doesn't mean put it off either set a real date on the calendar and make sure you stick to it that way you have time to prepare yourself.
2. Practice Practice Practice. Like the old saying goes practice makes perfect, try rehearsing what your going to say in front of the mirror or try coming out to your teddy bears and act as if they are your parents or friends.
3. Location is just as important. Try coming out in a restaurant so that they really have to keep their composure in front of strangers, in fact it could benefit you more if you left for the bathroom right after you tell them that way they can have some time to let it settle in. Never come out in a place where it could do more harm to you like a moving vehicle, school, or even at a friends house.
4. Write a Letter. If it is just to hard for you to say it then write it, sometimes it easier to take things in writing and those you are coming out to can go back and reread it so they know exactly what you said.
5. Find the Best Time. Make sure you choose the best time to come out, don't do it in the morning because that could ruin the whole day, but don't do it late at night because the person your coming out to could be tired from working. Just pick a date and time that is easiest for both of you.
6. Don't Beat Around the Bush. The best way to do it is to just say it don't dance around it.
7. Drop Hints. It could lessen the blow if you drop hints before you come out on the set date. Don't just say something that is completely homosexual but things that can be interpreted that way. For example, try and start complimenting the same sex more, or start watching more gay themed films.
8. Prepare for the Worse. You never know how someone will take it so always prepare yourself for the worse. If your coming out to your parents be prepared to stay over a friends or close relative's house, or if your coming out to a friend be ready to lose that friend.
9. Don't Back Down. Once you come out stick with it no matter what they say let them know that your gay and it's not going to change.
10. Make sure your Ready. Don't come out if your not ready to and also make sure you are 100% positive about your sexuality, because the worse thing you can do is come out if your not really gay because then your sexuality will be questioned.
No two experiences are the same and you'll never know exactly how anyone's reaction will be.
________________________________________________________________
Family and Friends Coming out to You
This is just as emotional as coming out if not more because sometimes it's unexpected so here are some tips just in case a family member or close friend decided to come out of the closet to you.
1. Stop and Think. As soon as they tell you don't say anything just let it settle in first and think about it because you could end up saying something that you didn't mean and it could damage that relationship.
2. Show Some Love. When someone comes out to you just give them a hug and let them know that you are there for support and that they have all of your love.
3. Remember this wasn't a choice. We have just as much power over our sexuality as we do over our gender(anatomy wise not legally). So don't try and change them just encourage them.
4. Don't tell anyone. Just because you know doesn't mean your best friend has to know, you were chosen for a reason and you could lose a lot of respect from your friend if you confess their secret. If they want someone else to know it will happen when they are ready.
5. Don't start acting different. Remember that this person is still the same as before they came out, so don't start acting weird and suggest more gay themed activities, do the same things you always use to do.
6. Don't be Scared. Don't be afraid to ask questions, in fact do ask some so you can know more about him/her. Just don't bombard them with questions about weird things.
7. Be Happy. Your friend chose you to come out to, meaning out of all the people he/she knows he trusts you enough with that secret so just be proud of yourself and your friend.
8. Do not hook them up with another gay guy. Just because you found out that they are gay it doesn't mean you should hook them up with your other gay friend unless they ask. Seriously not all gay guys go for the same thing.
9. Don't ask him to go shopping. Just because he's gay it doesn't mean he wants to go shopping and help you pick out shoes. This might not seem like a serious thing but it can seriously get annoying.
10. Help them come out to more people. Now that you know and have taken it so good, maybe you should help encourage them to come out to more close friends or family members. It's always easier doing things when you have some support.
Coming out has to be the most scariest time in a gay teens life, but I'm going to try and give you some tips and advice to make it a bit easier.
Before you use any of these make sure you choose the right person to come out to, I can't help you with that but all I can say is use good judgment.
1. Set a date. That doesn't mean put it off either set a real date on the calendar and make sure you stick to it that way you have time to prepare yourself.
2. Practice Practice Practice. Like the old saying goes practice makes perfect, try rehearsing what your going to say in front of the mirror or try coming out to your teddy bears and act as if they are your parents or friends.
3. Location is just as important. Try coming out in a restaurant so that they really have to keep their composure in front of strangers, in fact it could benefit you more if you left for the bathroom right after you tell them that way they can have some time to let it settle in. Never come out in a place where it could do more harm to you like a moving vehicle, school, or even at a friends house.
4. Write a Letter. If it is just to hard for you to say it then write it, sometimes it easier to take things in writing and those you are coming out to can go back and reread it so they know exactly what you said.
5. Find the Best Time. Make sure you choose the best time to come out, don't do it in the morning because that could ruin the whole day, but don't do it late at night because the person your coming out to could be tired from working. Just pick a date and time that is easiest for both of you.
6. Don't Beat Around the Bush. The best way to do it is to just say it don't dance around it.
7. Drop Hints. It could lessen the blow if you drop hints before you come out on the set date. Don't just say something that is completely homosexual but things that can be interpreted that way. For example, try and start complimenting the same sex more, or start watching more gay themed films.
8. Prepare for the Worse. You never know how someone will take it so always prepare yourself for the worse. If your coming out to your parents be prepared to stay over a friends or close relative's house, or if your coming out to a friend be ready to lose that friend.
9. Don't Back Down. Once you come out stick with it no matter what they say let them know that your gay and it's not going to change.
10. Make sure your Ready. Don't come out if your not ready to and also make sure you are 100% positive about your sexuality, because the worse thing you can do is come out if your not really gay because then your sexuality will be questioned.
No two experiences are the same and you'll never know exactly how anyone's reaction will be.
________________________________________________________________
Family and Friends Coming out to You
This is just as emotional as coming out if not more because sometimes it's unexpected so here are some tips just in case a family member or close friend decided to come out of the closet to you.
1. Stop and Think. As soon as they tell you don't say anything just let it settle in first and think about it because you could end up saying something that you didn't mean and it could damage that relationship.
2. Show Some Love. When someone comes out to you just give them a hug and let them know that you are there for support and that they have all of your love.
3. Remember this wasn't a choice. We have just as much power over our sexuality as we do over our gender(anatomy wise not legally). So don't try and change them just encourage them.
4. Don't tell anyone. Just because you know doesn't mean your best friend has to know, you were chosen for a reason and you could lose a lot of respect from your friend if you confess their secret. If they want someone else to know it will happen when they are ready.
5. Don't start acting different. Remember that this person is still the same as before they came out, so don't start acting weird and suggest more gay themed activities, do the same things you always use to do.
6. Don't be Scared. Don't be afraid to ask questions, in fact do ask some so you can know more about him/her. Just don't bombard them with questions about weird things.
7. Be Happy. Your friend chose you to come out to, meaning out of all the people he/she knows he trusts you enough with that secret so just be proud of yourself and your friend.
8. Do not hook them up with another gay guy. Just because you found out that they are gay it doesn't mean you should hook them up with your other gay friend unless they ask. Seriously not all gay guys go for the same thing.
9. Don't ask him to go shopping. Just because he's gay it doesn't mean he wants to go shopping and help you pick out shoes. This might not seem like a serious thing but it can seriously get annoying.
10. Help them come out to more people. Now that you know and have taken it so good, maybe you should help encourage them to come out to more close friends or family members. It's always easier doing things when you have some support.