My Journal Of Poetry

[Vindication]

As you obviously guess by the title, instead of spamming up the open book every 15 minutes I write a new poem, I will post them here. Often I will just reply to it with a whole poem that I wrote in VT. Most the poems I have posted on VT are not saved on my computer even though they should be. Anyway, well, soon this will start to fill up with poems.

Of course, I would not post these if I didn't want feedback, so I highly encourage you to comment on everything you want. I dont care when it is from, if it is most recent. Just go for it.

Just by the way, my poems are usually written in four line verses with second and fourth line rhyming in the last syllable. They tend to be rather morbid, hateful, and depressing, but I am working on writing more positive material. PM if you have questions.

[Vindication]

Okay, so as a reference guide to any poems you may have missed in the open book forum, I will now post links to all the poems I have posted elsewhere in VT in order from oldest to newest. When I have poems up in this thread, I will start to post links to each specific post for you.

Gone. : http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=20823
Hide. : http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=20828
Notice. : http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=20812
Mask. : http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=20902
Reaction. : http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=21066 (it sucks)
Wait. : http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=22939
Open. : http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=22940
Careful. : http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=22938
Pride. : http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=22943
Hope. : Post #3
Regret: Post #5 *
Burden. : http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=27377
Done. : http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=27400
Risk. : Post #12 *
Irratation. : Coming soon. *
Nature. : Post #21
Deception. : I will write this one at camp, it will take some thought. Damn you Elliot. Lol.
Fresh. : Post #22
Flowing. Post #26
Void. : Post #31
Release. : Post #36




Check in here every so often to see if there is a new one. that is if you like them...

The poems marked with an * is a topic inspired or suggested by Steph/essasteph/Zypher

[Vindication]

Okay, so here is my first shot at positive poetry. Evferyone always tells me that I have to always have hope that a good day will come, so here comes my positive look on hope. The post after this will be a negative look on hope. hmmm, want to compare?

Hope.


I want to let go,
I want to not cope,
I want to say no,
But I can't lose this hope.

I want to lose hope.
When all things are wrong,
I can't give up,
I am just too strong.

So much has happened,
Everything says to not go on,
But there are those that love me,
Those that think of me as their dawn.

All these people hoping,
Too many people care,
I keep on doubting,
Yet I say this little prayer.

"Even though I may be crazy,
Can I be healed?
I want to be free,
I want the truth to be revealed."

I want more than just faith,
I want to have a solution.
I need to find a way,
I need to have a retribution.

With my future barely uncertain,
I can't give up on something so clear,
I believe I have a life to come,
I just have to lose this fear.

My life is speeding before my eyes,
I dont know if I can cope.
I am so split on this...
I am giving into hope.

Negative coming soon.

[Zephyr]

Comment on Hope

I believe you have found a coping mechanism Addison...
You've been quite the poet tonight!

The last line made me smile = )

[Vindication]

Okay, so, essasteph suggested to me that I do a poem on regret first. So, here I go I guess.

Regret

All lives are full of trials.
All people in life fail.
Some will linger on it,
And not be on the proper trail.

I have done a lot wrongs,
I have always been weak,
As I get past these things,
It becomes harder to speak.

All that I think of is what I did,
You could say I even obsess.
This takes pronound effects,
I change and begin to regress.

My life has changed,
For what I remorse,
I just can't forget it,
I can't release the source.

We all have done wrong,
I have done my fair share,
I just take it too hard,
As if it is rare.

I cannot handle this all,
I go crazy with shame,
I could call it a mistake,
But it is not quite the same.

I am so scared,
I am becoming ill,
I just can't take it,
This will kill.

I try to release my baggage,
I want to get ride of this debt,
If only I could,
Relieve this regret.

[Zephyr]

Comment On Regret

Aw yes, I can really feel the emotional baggage that you speak of by the end = )
It brings up moments in my own life that I regret, which is good. The purpose of poems, at least in my opinion, is to express yourself and try to bring out emtions in the reader.

*applause*

[Vindication]

Thanks steph, I will definately keep writing.

[thePianoMan]

They both speak with a lot of emotion. Hope kind of takes a point of view from other people around you, while regret more so take your point of view. They are both very good.

[george]

hhhmmm regret brings up a lot of things that I regret doing..... Both of them are really good but I think I lik regret more :)

[Otaku Geek]

*subscribed to thread*

I loved them both. Why can't I write poetry that rhymes? :( lol I think you could easily be a poet, either as a hobby or a career.

[Vindication]

Right so I had completely forgot about this collection of poetry I have been making.

Well, I am trying to think about a new topic. An emotion, a feeling, a thing in general. I tend to write aobut topics not so much events or places.

Any ideas?

[Vindication]

Seeing as hopefully someone will read this, I expect you to comment even if you have to say I did a shitty job. please comment.

Risk.


Just take a jump,
You need to leap,
If you don't,
you will never reap.

Where is the adventure?
What fun is a plan,
Just go off course,
And look what you began.

Risk is fun,
Risk is life,
Risk is a gamble,
Risk could be strife.

Look at the present,
Then just trust,
Look to the now,
To find what you lust.

Chase for desire,
Though it may be out of reach,
Follow your dreams,
No need for somone to teach.

Love the now,
Make it brisk,
Dothe leap of faith,
Take that risk,

[Zephyr]

You've got a knack for this...
I give you the subject,
You write it good = ]
Like I said in IM,
It puts fun htoughts in my head.

[Vindication]

Resentment.

You have hurt me,
Though I must not resent,
I want to deny it,
But you're still my parent.

Its as if you've forgotten,
Maybe you don't care,
I've given up hope,
Though I have yet to stop my prayer.

You forgot the day,
The day of my birth,
You were there for God's sake,
Is that what I'm worth?

You've neglected my existence,
My brothers are your pride,
You have wronged us all,
I'm taking mom's side.

I can't let you do this,
All these small things,
They huge to me,
And the pain they bring.

You should not affect me so,
If only you would open your eyes,
So you would stop all these LIES!

I can't help but resent,
My lost parent.

[Zephyr]

AWESOME,
Really = ]

[iJack]

Very nice, you really have a gift there that not many people(me) have. Keep writing!

[tempest_oso06]

i like Risk and Hope love the poems

[Vindication]

Well I am looking for anothr idea, so if anyone ever has any, feel free to PM them to me or just post here.

[Otaku Geek]

Wow. I loved those. I haven't let them all soak in to make individual comments, but really...just wonderful.

I have one. How about something about lies or lying. Something like that. Just a thought. Seems dramatic.

[iJack]

Well I am looking for anothr idea, so if anyone ever has any, feel free to PM them to me or just post here.
How about nature?

[Vindication]

iJack, I know you probably meant like, nature as in the trees, the birds and the sky, but nature is the universe and all phemonema. So, here it goes. Screw the trees. Lol.

Nature.

Nature is everything,
It can't be changed,
It even has an order,
That can't be rearranged.

Why should we shift,
When nature makes us what we are,
We should not run off,
And stray too far.

We cannot change the universe,
We cannot change our path,
We should follow your destiny,
So we can avoid nature's wrath.

Nature is the way,
Its natural plan,
It commands our lives,
Yes, Each, And every man.

Its bad and short, I know.

[Vindication]

Okay, this really isn't a present idea, its more of a goal of what I want...

Fresh.

I have decided to change,
I am turning over a new leaf,
I thought I would share,
So I will make this brief.

Stop all the hurt,
The pain and the tears,
Release all the anger,
And wipe away my fears.

I want to stop with the lies,
The games and the tricks,
Just accept one another,
No more punches and kicks.

Give me a glance,
When I need it right now,
Don't push me aside,
To all the terrors you allow.

I want to start new,
I need a restart,
Get all the weight,
Off of my heart.

This bullshit is over,
Its through for this stage,
Those demons will hide,
Until I shall age.

I want to open up my life,
Tear it apart,
Disect each piece,
Down to the start.

This pain must stop,
I am done in this flesh,
I am flipping my life over,
So I can start fresh.

[Otaku Geek]

NATURE: I think that one was good. I think that's like at the most 2/3 of a good poem. It's just missing a little substance. Some fillers I guess. Other than that I thought it was great.

FRESH: "So I will make this brief." I love lines that address the reader. I really don't think I saw anything that should change or anything that should be added. Great poem. :)

[Vindication]

Yeah I didnt like it, in my head, it s tarted out great with like this whole, human nature thing, but then it just kinda fell apart.

[Otaku Geek]

I think it was that you had this great idea and brought it out, and it was a great idea, but it was something that is hard to build on. So you get 2 sections of it and then you run out of material.

[Vindication]

Flowing.

Life is full of emotions.
Some are mad,
Some are happy,
Some are sad.

When we cry,
We are flooded with tears,
We cannot do anything,
But release all our fears.

We are empty,
And we are just a hole,
There is no laughter,
But only our soul.

We open up our hearts,
So you can see all,
All you think is hurt,
That giant black wall.

You pry to knock it down,
You push and you pull,
Just to get a glimpse,
Of our very fragile soul.

I can do this,
All on my own,
So you can just go,
And leave me alone.

Though I need help,
I need to want it for me,
So stop searching and ripping,
That is my plea.

I sit here and cry,
Out of sadness indeed,
To release all the pain,
That caused me to bleed.

These rivers down my cheek,
The tears that flow,
Burn into my feelings,
Like a stabbing blow.

I wipe these away,
And clean up my pain,
For I am still wet,
From all this rain.

I now show no hurt,
Yet you still see,
The lack of trust,
Inside of me.

[Otaku Geek]

That poem is perfect. "I now show no hurt, Yet you still see, The lack of trust, Inside of me." Favorite line. I loved that one. I think that might be my favorite. If I had to find one thing wrong with it (I've been looking for 5-10 mins), it would be that it needs an original title to suit the poem, but "crying" doesn't do it justice. It's a good title for now though. Excellent!

[george]

I loved it :D Same thing with Elliot, if I had to find anything wrong with it NOW (because Addison changed the title) I'd say......
We are empty,
And we are just a hole,
There is no laughter,
But only our soul.
For some odd reason, soul and hole didn't rhyme in my head for like 10 minutes then it just started to rhyme, idk why lol

[Otaku Geek]

I have a different opinion. I liked that rhyme.

[george]

Oh woops lol I didn't finish what I meant to say. Edited lol I meant it didn't rhymee until after like 10 minutes.

[Vindication]

Void.

You are my darkness,
You are my empty void,
I need some to fill,
What you have destroyed.

I need to breathe,
I need your air,
To fill my lungs,
And show you care.

I have what I wanted,
I lack what I need,
I have all the wonders,
But what you lead.

You have shattered my heart,
And left nothing but black,
You are the one thing,
That I still lack.

I want what others have,
I want what they get for free,
I crave all your peace,
I lust for what you get to be.

Its been so long,
Since you ignored me,
And chose the other two,
As if out of glee.

My void is still empty,
Still not filled with you,
I feel the need,
To give you this clue.

Try to bulid the bridge,
Make the first move,
So I can see,
If you have anything to prove.

Repair that hole,
Mend your pit,
Fill my void,
To show that you care,
Just a little bit.

[george]

I like it :D I like all your poems and I dont get how your so good at poetry lol. You can feel when your reading it that its about someone thats heartbroken.

[thePianoMan]

All of it is absolutely amazing, Addison. I can't even pick a favorite, because they are all so good.

[Kiros]

True, true. You're very talented Addison. And yes, Void was an awesome addition - especially with it's unconventional 5-line ending. :)

[Vindication]

Woot woot, unconventional = good.

Thanks Ben.

[Vindication]

Release.

Leave me alone,
Get out of my head,
I am too sick,
I can't go to bed.

Going in circles,
Talking out loud,
I have gone crazy,
My head is a crowd.

I need to get away,
And escape your corruption,
I want to release,
This dormant eruption.

Can I run away to Europe?
Or just start driving blind?
But how can I run,
From your poisin in my mind.

I want to break free,
Your chains hold me back,
Send me away,
Give me some slack.

I write this now,
In an attempt to run,
And fine a way out,
But I can find none.

[Zephyr]

Escape!
Viva!
I just noticed that you poked me.
But...
I feel like that right now too...

[thePianoMan]

Awesome, Addison...I rate Release as one of your best...at least to me.

[Vindication]

Finish.

*note* this is really bad, so dont be too brutal.

I dont steal,
And I dont lie,
But I can feel,
And I can cry.

A fact,
I'll bet you never knew.
But to cry,
In front of you,
That's the worse thing,
I could do.

You said be tough,
Buck up and take the hits,
Shut up dumbass,
Stop throwing the fits.

I'd rather you yell,
You scream and you punch,
Than sit there and ignore,
My invitation to lunch.

What digs deeper than hate?
The neglect I endure,
The shouts I could handle,
That I ensure.

Todd turn to me now,
Look me straight in the eyes,
And tell me you don't want me,
And what you despise.

Give me the truth,
Push me away,
So I know I'm not welcome,
So I can go on and play.

Give me that shove,
That ultimate cold shoulder,
To send me off,
So I can grow older.

I await your call,
So I can pick up,
And all that you'll say,
Hey, what's up?

[thePianoMan]

It's really not bad, you should give yourself more credit.

[Vindication]

oh it is and you know it jared lol

[Zephyr]

Sad :(
I loved it hun!
You're so good at conveying your emotions through poetry.

[electric7rocker]

i think you should get a deviantart(.com) :P its pretty cool
lots of feedback
im REWINDtheNIGHT if you decide to check it out

[Vindication]

Okay, I dont want any bullshit telling me not to believe in God because that is not what this poem is for. I get one comment like that and Im taking it down.

Ever since I got home from Bible camp, I just have problems staying close to God and it hard core bothers me but there is nothing I can do about it, so this is my mini plea, there is like an 8 page poem i have in my notebook but there is really no substance but, here is a bit.

Faith

I want to stay in touch,
I dont want to drift away,
I like to be close to you,
And try to always pray.

Too many distractions,
So many people say no,
They try to take me away from you,
And keep from what I know.

I know its not right,
I need to stay with you,
But I have no support,
To help me see what you do.

Lord keep me in your arms,
Shelter me from the temptation,
I need to be faithful,
I need a strong relation.

[Zephyr]

Keep the faith brotha'!

[LightxInxDarkness]

Might I add some constructive criticism. I think you should work on your title's they all seem to be one word that goes straight to the point. Why not make them something more meaningful that catches your attention more.

[Vindication]

Return.

My burden is back,
The thing that I dread,
She won't go away,
She stays in my head.

I used to hide behind her,
She was my only hope,
Then she turned her back on me,
So I had to learn to cope.

She used to define me,
She made me into this,
The nervous crazy bastard,
That turns away from bliss.

I can't hide forever,
Though I can try,
She won't go away from me,
She always makes me cry.

Stay away much longer,
Never return to me,
Bitch,
Give up and go,
And leave my sanity's key.

[george]

For some reason, when I read this I tried to find the like....hidden thing in the poem but I didn't see anything but what was there.

Amazing poem Addison :) Keep them coming

[Vindication]

IM bumping this because i want opinions!

[Vindication]

Relapse.
I am so scared.
My trigger is back,
Is this all it takes?
To make me crack?

I've denied your existance,
I ignored your return,
I just want to hide back,
And face only what I yearn.

Last time I faced you,
I was put away,
How I can I look back,
And become your new prey?


I love what is good about you,
and overlook the bad,
But when the good is absent,
I end up going mad.

Let go of your grip,
I want to go free,
Return,
To what you used to be.

Do I face all my fears?
And risk going there,
Just so I go mad,
And rip out my hair?

I want to go back,
To the old and calm times,
When you didn't turn on me,
And commit all these crimes.

Can I do it?
Turn back to your life?
When I was okay?
Without using the knife?

[thePianoMan]

Another amazing poem, Addison! I love reading your poems.

[george]

Like all your other poems, this one is great. I hope you'll be ok...

[Vindication]

Reach

I want to reach out,
Just to try us again,
To see if I hate you,
Just like it was back then.

I dont understand.
You want me to visit,
After what you know,
How you made me want to quit.

Give up already,
Stop playing with my heart,
And fueling my thoughts,
That tear my apart.

Do I reach out to you,
And hope its okay?
Or stay safe and calm,
Away from you each day.

I don't know if I can do it,
If I can put myself out there,
Just so I can look,
And find out if you care.

Dad,
Do you want this for you,
Do you want this for me?
I wander your motives.
Ha,
We'll see.

[george]

Ah :) Great poem like always, you should try and publish them unless you feel that they're to personal =\ but yeah, that's how good they are. I liked the ending to this one too.

[Vindication]

I really want to put up another one I have in my head but im too tired so Ill post it tomorrow

[thePianoMan]

I can't wait to see it, Addison!

[Vindication]

And you didn't even post on my last one. Im crushed Jared. Crushed

[thePianoMan]

Haha, you just had to bring that up...I'm sorry that I'm crushing you though, I'll never sit on you again. Your last poem was one of your best actually. See I suck at commenting on things, because all of my good comments are the same, so yeah...

[Vindication]

Plea

Girl, whats happened?
We used to just play,
Just have fun,
Day after day.

Then it happened,
Here came your man,,
I'm trying to save you,
Everyway I can.

Stop running form me,
Just turn and face my truth,
I just want to stop this,
So you may save your youth.

Why can't we be friends anymore?
Is he better than me?
Just notice my effort,
That is my last plea.

Stop opening your legs,
Keep your voice strong,
Please push them away,
Know your right from wrong.

Stay with your morals,
Keep with your support,
Love,
Start quitting this sport.

I want to protect you,
To keep you the same,
So you dont become,
What your friends became.

[george]

I like it, and I know that sounds repetitive but all your poems are so good lol

I like how this one has a caring tone to it.

[thePianoMan]

Awesome, Addison! Another great poem. This has a much different tone and topic then normal, and I like it, even though it talks of something negative.

[Vindication]

You.

You tease me,
You jest,
You pay attention,
Unlike the rest.

You give me pride,
That I am the one you notice,
You give me the hope,
That you'll be my first kiss

You are my crush,
My goal of each day,
Just to get see,
Those eyes of pure gray.

You light up my time,
Just to hear your tone,
It comforts me even,
When I know I'm alone.

We talk everyday,
Just to have some fun,
Without noticing to me,
You're as bright as the sun.

I wonder if you see,
My craving for your care,
That for you,
I would go anywhere.

Will you turn around,
Just to see me here,
So that you can wipe away,
My dead empty tear.

[george]

Aaawwww :) I love it. It has a really nice feeling and tone to it.

[Vindication]

Walk.

You turned your back,
When I needed you most,
You walked away,
And went to boast.

You stepped in the spotlight,
And knew I was in danger,
Only to act,
And pretend I'm a stranger.

All my secrets you have,
All the secrets I know,
To step out and leave me,
As low as my low.

You visited me,
When my times were the worst,
And then walked away,
Just letting me burst.

I needed your hug,
Your nice little grin,
But you just turned,
Back to your life of sin.

Dude,
Come lift me to my feet,
And help me up,
From my life of defeat.

[Vindication]

No title

She left you,
She had me,
Get over it,
Let us be.

Where did you go,
Did you walk away too?
Trust me I'm used to it,
Its nothing new.

Do you reject me?
Push me away,
So that I hurt,
Day after day.

Now you want me back,
And told me to come,
Promising affection,
Like I want some.

You crushed my hope,
You stabbed it out,
It was dirty and foul,
And replace it with doubt.

Stilll leaving me hanging,
Ruining my week,
Looking forward to the time,
When I'll forget how to speak.

[Vindication]

Break

Roll your eyes,
Turn your head,
Ignore the signs,
That my life is dead.

You know that I'm broken,
You see that I am alone,
All you need to do,
Is pick up that phone.

I want your affection,
Just that little look,
So my heart is okay,
From the pain it has took.

I know you see me,
I see your care,
You notice my scars,
And you rip out your hair.

I try to hide,
From all their harm,
The only problem is,
The cuts on my arm.

I put up my walls,
So my friends can break in,
Maybe you'll get to me,
And finally,
We'll win.

[george]

Ah, you really do have a gift at poetry Addison. I think I really like "Walk" out of the 3. Keep em coming Addi. :)

[thePianoMan]

Break really is just...special. It's perfect. They are all special, Addison. You just keep getting better as you keep writing, and you started off quite well to begin with. You really do have a talent for this. The only bad thing I can see about them are that they are mostly negative and come from your own personal feeling. It's good that they come from your personal feelings, but it's all negative. (that isn't a criticism, BTW) I wish you had more positive stuff to write about. You are amazing and I just can't wait to read more!

[Vindication]

Thanks guys. Ugh, I wish more people gave me opinions. not like yours aren't good enough. just sayin.

[Vindication]

Deny

It is so wrong,
That you can control my life,
To the point,
To force me to take up the knife.

I give up my love,
To stay from your abuse,
By simply stating,
"You should tie your noose"

You push me to quit,
My true love's release,
And make my heart beat,
Forever cease.

Day after day,
I take your blows,
And I can't just look at it,
As if its what life throws.

I need to abandon,
This false hope of a bond,
When we can stop,
And pass this beyond.

How can I do anything?
To fix my problem of you,
When everyone would hate me,
And shift all my own view.

I can't deny,
The turmoil you've caused,
I'll try to deny,
My love that you've paused.

[thePianoMan]

That one has a different tone than I am used to I think. I'm not really sure. I like it!

[Vindication]

Flirt.

You love me,
Right?
Can't keep you from my,
Sight.

You play with my hair,
Pull on my shirt,
Rub my chest,
Pull up your skirt.

Ask me to play,
We are great friends,
You say you want more,
Before this fun ends,

Keep teasing me on,
You want to be more,
More than just friends,
You flirt with me sore.

Baby, choose just me,
Stop getting around,
Pick me,
And keep my mind sound.

Stop teasing them all,
Only flirt with me,
Be who you are,
But only ever with me.

If you dont want my love,
Stop twisting my heart,
So that I can run away,
Or I'll tear your heart apart.

[thePianoMan]

Very good, Addison! I really like this one a lot. This one stands out differently. I like all of them, but I think this one might currently be my favorite!

[Vindication]

Am I the only one that loves the fact that Jared's favorrite poem just happens to be about a slut?

[thePianoMan]

Yes, Addison, you are...haha...jkjk.

[george]

There's nothing wrong with having a favorite poem just HAPPENS to be about a slut lol....or is there....jk

Another great poem Addison. All your poems seem to have really good endings like this one. I don't know which one is my favorite :O they're all so good.

[Vindication]

Boredom./Remedial.

Whats the point,
I sit each day,
Wasting my time,
Rotting away.

You waste my time,
You make me wait,
I pass the time,
A punishment for this trait.

Fuck you education,
You hold me back,
My abilities,
Exceed this pack.

I could go on,
And learn all I can,
So I can succed,
And fulfill my true plan.

Why do I wait,
For all of my peers,
When I should be ahead,
Multiple years.

Thank you for maximizing,
My learning potential,
Instead you suppress my dreams,
Which are so essential.

Even my writing,
Which is so refined,
You regard,
As truly unkind.

Well screw you school,
You've driven me to tears,
I am so bored,
Yet Im stuck here,
For three more years.

[george]

It really does sound like your bored with school. Great poem :) KEEP WRITING THEM. Why are you bored with school though?

[thePianoMan]

Great poem, Addison! I can really relate to this one. It may even beat the slut one.

[Vindication]

Jared picking insulting my school over sluts? never.

[Vindication]

Rhythm.

Beat by beat.
Live marches on,
Clap by clap,
On goes the song.

Everyone says,
Stay on beat,
Don't stop clapping,
No matter the heat.

Left foot,
Right,
Keep on marching,
No stopping to fight.

Stay on rhythm,
Don't get off your path,
You step off,
And you face life's wrath.

Good luck clapping along,
Keep stomping your feet,
Walking through life,
Never missing a beat.

[george]

"Stay on rhythm,
Don't get off your path"

But what IS ones path? lol jk

Pretty good poem, it has a much more neutral tone to it. I doubt you could write a poem that someone WON'T like lol