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Primenumber
September 14th, 2015, 11:04 AM
Well, I wrote this during one of my moments of reflection... I was about to delete it now, but I didn't want to waste it:)

The world, the universe, life. It was questions. It was all wonders. How. Where. What.
Why.

Sometimes she wondered if they mattered. If anything did. Maybe, unless you asked a question, there was no answer. Maybe the answers were relative as well, only appearing when you looked for them. Maybe she would never find out.

It was weird. Everything, wherever you looked, was an unanswered question, a mystery. Yet, nobody seemed to wonder. They took the world for granted. They expected it to work for them, whatever they did. Like if they owned it, like if they werent just invaders, impudent children of The Wise Parent.

The humankind.
They were like her, and yet she felt alone.
Different personalities, that is all they differed, different brain preferences, different structures, different memories.

Out of so many ways to distinguish between them, the one she had found most appealing was the distinction between the future, now and past people.

The past people lived their lives wishing to go back in time; longing for yesterday and missing the glory of today, which they eventually came to notice, as it too became the distant past.

The now people were the typical carpe diem followers, although the meaning of that philosophical expression rarely occurred to them. They moved through life as electromagnetic waves move through space; they had moved on from the past and the concept of the future was uninteresting and ungraspable to them.

The future people however lived their lives many years ahead of each day, awaiting the future and not realizing that it came to them, day by day. In their perception, the current moment was never definite, for the past of always tense and the future perfect.

She often thought, what really was so perfect about the time was that it goes. It is one-dimensional and linear, its speed so relative, yet so constant. Time, she thought, was a wonder.
Its relativity fascinated her, and as a future person, she always saw it as fast paced, felt it slip through her fingers as she desperately tried to grasp the moments it brought. She looked for the end of the line, so far into the future that the possibilities were never-ending, and she enjoyed exploring them, diving into the endless maze of existence.
At the edge of time, at the end of the maze called life. In the end of the corridor. At the edge of a cliff. The endless journey. The never-ending loneliness. The numbness.
That did not matter tough. She didnt really know what did. But the perfection of the universe, the mystery of life, were surely far more important than that deep layer of her thoughts that could not be controlled, that never stopped, no matter what she did. The human brain was perfection too, after all, and like all she knew, it was a mystery.