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HealingScars
September 10th, 2015, 01:59 PM
Hello everyone my name is Tiana! I am 22 years old and currently I am working with Operation Safehouse of the Desert as a Peer Youth Specialist with the Cup of Happy Program. As a child, teenager and a now young adult I have always been very outgoing and driven to succeed in anything that I want to do. Today I am going to share my personal story and journey with different mental health challenges and traumatic events.
Throughout my childhood I had to learn that people and the ones closest to us can hurt us the most. Actually I had to this the hard way. Before I was born my mom was a healthy, happy, and great at being mom. After my birth she was diagnosed with Post Partum Depression and Bipolar Disorder. This caused her to hold a strong resentment and hatred towards me. As I got older it was clear how bad the resentment was. When I was 8 years old she was manic and off her medications. She then decided to take me cross country. In this time I was molested by a 60 year old male. This was the start of my depression, anxiety, and heartache. Being young I did not understand what happened; I froze.
Jumping ahead a couple years my dad, mom and I were living in a trailer out in the desert. One early morning my mom was teaching me how to use a fire estingusher. Now at the time I had no idea why she was doing this. When I was about 17 years old my dad told me that she was planning on leaving after starting an electrical fire. She was trying to kill us.
At the age of 14 years old I meant someone who truly changed my life and fell head over heals for him. He was such a great person very loving and honest. On top of that had a smile that made me weak in the knees, and some big brown eyes. For the next year we grew closer and closer. Near the end January 2009 and beginning of Feburary my mom and I moved in with him. We were there for 3 weeks. He suffered from cutting and depression. Both of which he said he had under control. Lie. The weekend of Valentines I head out to my dads. My mom stays with Robert. The weekend goes by and it is the day I supposed to go home....I call and call and no one answers. 2 days go by and I hear nothing do not hear anything from my mom, Robert and his friend Tony hadn't heard anything either. Feburary 16, 2009 my dad gets a phone call from my brother. My dad calls me over and tells me Robert commited suicide on Valentines Day. This absolutely destroyed me. Tears rushed down my face and I never thought they would end. I never thought that someone so dear to me would be gone. March rolls around and his friend Tony sexually assaults me 7 times through the entire month. I was 15 years old. Through this I started cutting. My depression slowly began.
Moving forward throughout school I was tormented, teased and harassed. Bullies were relentless and never seemed to let me be. My cutting increased. Depression, anxiety and my now eating disorder from being called fat started. Stopped eating. Stopped caring about myself. Become isolated. Suicidal.
Through all this I met the love of my life. Been together almost 4 years now. I have learned that my past does not mean I am a terrible person or have "problems." Found new ways to cope with my past and have been self injury free for 2 and half years no. No, my past; OUR past means we are human beings. We have gone through terrible things and have been able to overcome them. We are fighters. And, to be completely honest I am still healing in some ways. Healing takes time and no matter what demons we face anything can be changed for the better. Having depression, anxiety, bordeline personality disorder, panic attacks, bipolar disorder, etc does not define who we are. But helps turn us into the people that can truly impact others. As Rachel Joy Scott a victim of the Columbine shooting said, "You will be suprised at how far a little act of kindness will go."
To those of you still struggling stay strong. When you feel ready share you story. They do matter. And know that I am fighting the war right beside you. Thank you for letting me share my story.

Vermilion
September 10th, 2015, 03:07 PM
Thank you for sharing :) I'm sorry for what you went through but happy you came out on top

HealingScars
September 10th, 2015, 03:35 PM
Your welcome. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. And, no need to feel sorry. Everything in my life happened for a reason. I am thankful for my past. :D

Just JT
September 10th, 2015, 03:40 PM
Thank you for sharing. Also want to thank you for showing me where to share my own story. I've been thinking about this for a while, and just never found what seemed to be the right place in this forum. All I need to do now is put more thoughts together, and post it

So thank you!!
That took a lot, I know...
JT

Plane And Simple
September 10th, 2015, 03:45 PM
I'm so glad you made it, it take some courage, but it can certainly be done :)

TOB :arrow2: US&M

This is better suited here :)

HealingScars
September 10th, 2015, 04:14 PM
Thank you everyone!! I cannot wait to read everyones stories. They truly are meaningful and matter!

Dalcourt
September 10th, 2015, 09:54 PM
Thanks for sharing your story. I know it's a brave thing to do...
I won't share my own story, though cuz I'm way too young and it is still in progress...

HealingScars
September 10th, 2015, 11:03 PM
Your welcome. And, when the time is right and when you are of the right age you will get the chance.

Abhorrence
September 11th, 2015, 01:44 PM
It's a big thing to do, sharing your story. Thank you for doing so.