View Full Version : The Pizza Inquisitor.

Let Me Be a Pony
September 8th, 2015, 01:56 PM
You may say to yourself that everyone likes pizza, but is that really true?

There is an alcoholic who inquisitions the pizzas of today's society.
He tracks down and mortifies pizza with great pride.
He likes to humiliate the pizza - to smother graphite rocks all over their moisty dough, to inject sulphuric acid inside their tomato cavities... and most importantly to remove their crust.
All pizzas fear him because of this.
He calls himself "The Pizza Inquisitor".

But what made the Pizza Inquisitor what he is today?
When he was a child, his father who was a pizza himself, used to abuse his own son... with food - large quantities of pizza to be exact.
The future Pizza Inquisitor was fed daily with pizza.
His father liked to forcefully push big, slimy pieces of pizza in his tiny adolescent mouth.

There was no salad for him, not even desert, for his father wanted his own son to become a pizza.
One day, the future Pizza Inquisitor took a knife from the kitchen cupboard.
His father didn't see him because he was... cooking pizza.
Then his son went up to him and he started slashing his flat pizza face.
Tomato sauce started dripping everywhere.
His father was still alive... So the future Pizza Inquisitor started eating his father's pizza face.

From that day on, he swore to murder all the pizza he sees, and so the Pizza Inquisition had began.


I wrote this with great hatred... towards pizza.

September 8th, 2015, 02:11 PM
Sorry you hate pizza, but to each his own. I love pizza!

Let Me Be a Pony
September 8th, 2015, 02:21 PM
Sorry you hate pizza, but to each his own. I love pizza!

Sometimes, the Pizza Inquisitor cannibalizes pizza with human remains... remains from pizza chefs.

Off topic:
Today, I ate pizza. I ate it halfway through, because it tasted a little like grapes. I won't eat pizza for a long time, just because of this experience.
Something very bad had happened with my pizza. :c