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Gwen
August 16th, 2015, 04:46 AM
Convey to me a way to say
that everything we did today
will last forever
in at least
the littlest way.
And all the lips
of lovers lost
linger still
in the shades of sky.
And all the world
is the greatest art
And each of us
play an essential part.
And each of our hearts
are weighed down
by the words that we
never spoke,
so speak.

Hudor
August 16th, 2015, 04:57 AM
Nice poem. But I feel it's a bit abrupt and some lines are missing in between. Good job though :)

Gwen
August 16th, 2015, 07:20 AM
Nice poem. But I feel it's a bit abrupt and some lines are missing in between. Good job though :)

Okay, thank you! I am trying to improve my poetry so any criticism helps :) I'll keep this in mind next time.

Hudor
August 16th, 2015, 08:20 AM
Okay, thank you! I am trying to improve my poetry so any criticism helps :) I'll keep this in mind next time.

No problem :)

wolf g
August 16th, 2015, 01:36 PM
very good job very nice profetionell poem