View Full Version : I dont want to go back there. Fuck!

Broken Toy
July 17th, 2015, 05:49 PM
Ive been here a while, and almost every cutter does it because they feel 'numb'. Ive never really been able to understand it because i dont do it for that. I do it because, it scares me but, i like it. I just want to do it and i like the blood, it running.

I havent done it for like 2 months, mostly because i couldnt sit my exams because of their location, it would hurt too much to sit down for a long time.

But recently, im numb. I dont feel anything, i want to, and i think i do but i think and im just lying to myself. I just almost cried, but realised i dont have any emotions.

Im scared, like i get so addicted to cutting ive done it when i havent even been depressed, it used to be like a daily routine. Help me P L E A S E

Plane And Simple
July 17th, 2015, 05:56 PM
I'm not a pro at this but I just know there's other ways to relieve that feelings. You have to get something that jeeps your mind away, whatever it is, and I tell you VT is a good place for this. We're all here for you whenever you need us, be it for a chat or immediate help.

I'm always willing to listen if you need to.

July 17th, 2015, 06:19 PM
You've done a good thing by simply venting this out. Venting is a great way to get emotions out. If the pain is what you seek then there are other ways to relieve it and they can be found on one of the stickies in the cutting main thread. People here are also available to talk to and you could also try friends or family. I think it's important you get professional help if you haven't already. Having harmful thoughts and self harming are very serious things and you are entitled to get help for them.

July 20th, 2015, 09:12 PM
I absolutely relate to what you're saying. I currently cut, but not for the reason that's posted all over the internet, to hide emotional pain or 'feel', but just because I like it, how pretty my blood is. I've read of some ways to feel better, but using red ink on your cutting areas to make it look like blood. Also, try using a rubber band if you can get a hold of one and try snapping that on your skin. It helps if you're in it for the pain, but also leaves a nice red mark. Have you heard of the butterfly challenge? You draw a butterfly on your wrist in Sharpie and write the name of somebody you care about in it. The goal is to wait until it has faded (no rubbing or scratching) completely with no cutting. After it fades, you draw another one with another name and keep going. I'm probably not it the best position to be giving help about cutting, but I hope my spiel helps! :)

Broken Toy
July 21st, 2015, 10:44 AM
Thanks guys, i tried the thing about red ink, but i only had black markers, and basically ended up colouring in half my leg around my cuts, so that wasnt great.

I guess it could try the butterfly challenge, im pretty much alive for other people at this point, so i think being reminded of those people could help