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Buttercup1
July 5th, 2015, 06:09 PM
Im currently 18 and have been with my boyfriend for a whopping 2 and 1/2 years but we still haven't technically had PIV sex (he definitely wants to but is very patient with me). I'm going off to college soon and we plan to stay together as long as we are both happy. I'm still nervous but I think if we have sex it will make our bond stronger which is better for when I leave. I know I wont regret it because he is someone I'm in love with and care greatly about.

I'm just looking for advice on how to relax my mind and if it would be more relaxing to plan it?

Fiction
July 5th, 2015, 06:13 PM
It really is whatever feels best for you! If it would make you more comfortable to plan it then there's no harm in doing that. If you'd prefer to just let things play out as they will, then go for spontaneous.

My first time was planned, and I suppose in my opinion that's best. It means you can set boundaries, and also make sure it's somewhere you're both comfy and will be undistrubed (very important!! :p). There is plenty of time for spontaneous sex later and it's probably better to discuss all the ins and outs with your partner before hand :) also, you only have your first time once, may as well make an event of it!

Good luck!

skittle
July 5th, 2015, 06:19 PM
My first time was semi-planned. We spoke about it a lot, and decided on a day that we'd like to get together to just "hang out" and we'd see how things would play out from there. Both of us wanted it and it was a really good experience.

It sounds like you really care about each other, the best way you can prepare yourself is to have a conversation about what you're both comfortable with, and about how it is that you will ensure that you're having safe sex. Choose a place where you're both comfortable and where you'll have complete privacy as well, and enjoy it!

Taryn98
July 5th, 2015, 07:20 PM
1. You probably won't stay together once you get to college if you're apart. You will both meet lots of new people and will want to have your fun. It won't last.
2. Sex isn't that big of a deal. The bigger you make it, the more you'll be disappointed.
3. Do what you are comfortable with. If you want to, do it, if not, then don't.

Laibachd
July 6th, 2015, 04:52 AM
I also think that your relationship won't stand the test of distance and college.

Just what what you feel is right, anyways.

ClaraWho
July 6th, 2015, 05:04 AM
1. You probably won't stay together once you get to college if you're apart. You will both meet lots of new people and will want to have your fun. It won't last.
2. Sex isn't that big of a deal. The bigger you make it, the more you'll be disappointed.
3. Do what you are comfortable with. If you want to, do it, if not, then don't.

Addressed to OP not qoutee!

1. There's no reason you cannot make it work long distance and meet up every now and then. College is 3 years though, which is even longer than you've been together. But if you're both home in the holidays, I've seen couples last. All down to trust and communication.

2. Sex is special and a big deal if you want it to be, and you should as that makes it incredible in itself. It's a bit like boobs. If you're willing to show them to just about anyone, it cheapens the act and decreases any meaning FOR YOU. It's an individual narrative.

3. You seem to be hinting that this would be an attempt to make your bond stronger. That's a bad reason for having sex. Only do it if You WANT to have sex, it shouldn't be a tool.

~ Clara

Iam-Marie
July 6th, 2015, 07:12 AM
what your gut tells is the right

Abbeys
July 6th, 2015, 09:43 AM
1. You probably won't stay together once you get to college if you're apart. You will both meet lots of new people and will want to have your fun. It won't last.
2. Sex isn't that big of a deal. The bigger you make it, the more you'll be disappointed.
3. Do what you are comfortable with. If you want to, do it, if not, then don't.



I love this!!!!

:):):)

Iam-Marie
July 6th, 2015, 11:13 AM
...
2. Sex isn't that big of a deal. The bigger you make it, the more you'll be disappointed.
...

That is really true

prtygurl
July 6th, 2015, 09:01 PM
Wow. Some of you are pretty cynical.

Mollypop
July 6th, 2015, 10:35 PM
It's not cynical to say that lots of people build it up to something so big that reality can never measure up. It's true. That doesn't mean sex is meaningless. It just means that it can get blown way out of proportion.

neledisapersonne
July 8th, 2015, 08:36 PM
Planning will most probably make you feel stressed, spontaneous always feel better in my experience :) in the end it doesnt really matter, only thing that matters is how you feel

LucieP
July 9th, 2015, 07:30 AM
I think Taryn is right. Sex is awesome and fun and all that but at the end of the day it's just sex. Youll probably wake up the next day not feeling all that different (well maybe a bit sore). It wont change your life but it might make you feel closer to your BF.