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Alde
June 1st, 2015, 03:37 AM
Hi Everyone

I know i haven't been on the site for long but these time i can't because i got mental trouble.

I always been an imaginary guy, from my child hoos but these recent day, i got mental trouble. At first it was just though of scary things which start the fear emotion in me. It has been for days and in the meanwhile it upgrade and due to the fact that i believe things real easily and i am sensible, its dangerous for me but mentally i learn to try to stop it but when something stop, another start, i think that it is the fact that i have been in ''sad emotion state'' during years since my big depression year ago. Anyway, now , arround a week ago, i got the ideas that i didn't live in reality and of course it scare me a lot! and the trouble began, the more i fight it, the more slowly i though it was real. I got a lot of scars since it and other scary thought, at first i didn't fight it, i just try to change my mind but always when i am alone, the idea continu and its affect me. When i finally went see the counselling women at my school, i try to introduce myself, the scars and my imaginary childhhod and my contemplation for fantasis things. And the next day at school during an assembly in the hall, a policeman and an ex dealer come and explain us about the danger of drugs,i couldn't focus because the thought continu and after that i didn't go in class, but at the councelling in the librarie and ask her to see a doctor and a phys because my heart was pounding too fast during a long time and i even though i maybe devlope a brain cancer but i am good to knw that i feel any pain in my head when i am doing something...., she give me the name of a doctor and a psy at a clinic but i hasn't see her and him yet...

My teacher give me an relaxation exercise which help me a little. I always fight the ideas and tell me it is not real, i am in the reality but when i things like that, it scare me again a little.... I just told myself that i must just relax and calm my mind but at this point, i really have a clic on if i am really in the reality or not in a sort of virtuel experience to know my way of reacting...etc , you see what kind of things? but truly am sure i am in the reality but when i have the fear and the idea, slowly its like my brain start to believe it....i start to forget things a little, i am always weak mentally and which lead to physically too. When i told myself i focus on my parent and the love they had for me, its work at first but another scary idea about they are not the real one..etc , they are not humans...these kind of things and its very disturb me, my biggest fear is to never live a normal life again and being place in a psychiatric center for crazy people and i don't want that....i even had an ideas about an ovni had been placed in my brain..etc and things now start to be strange arround me, i feel a little weird on everything like its the first time a discover it, even the way of comunication: speaking and writing, myself, the true me , i know its always been like that but my imagination take the front on me and i ask myself how i know that..etc like i am in another planet, the same feeling i guess is you discover the culture of an another planet and its sacring me. Hopefully i have thing to distract me, i even though to move to my aunt place which i always love because it is peacefull but i am afraid if i doesn't have the comunication with my parent, my friend..etc to distract me, i will...sink.
I know that its all start about just a thought, a not real thing that why i always up myself with this ideas but its scary anyway. A few days ago, when i talk to my teacher by message about that, during the explosion of fear, my brain was like peacefull all of a sudden, i thought i had broken something because of the excess of emotion..etc but due that i am very spirituel, i think that it is God who calming me and when i let myself into this blank in my mind...its kind of work but i am afraid that i start to devloppe the breain diseases that make you forgot think and due that i feel weird on things, it continu to scaring me.

Now, at this moment, i decide to relax my brain to chase things but again i feel weird on things, like i discover a new reality which is crazy because i always live in the same....

The kindness of my parent now that they know my problem reconfort me and i am afraid of forgetting them, forgetting myself, being wake up in a hospital and don't know who i am...etc, or the ideas of being lock in a dark chamber at a phychiatric center....please, help me. What must i do? continu relaxing me? have you advise please? its would really help me. I even feel weird about the french and english...like why it is like that, how i know that or how i easily write or speak like that...

Please, help me

Now i try to focus myself and calm down about films i like, things i like and moment that i always like to live with my friends...etc but i am afraid that soon or late it will not be enought, like my imagination take over it and i start to see things ..etc

My dad accept that i do equitation due that i like horses and would love to live things like in horses mouvie..etc but it is not bad to continu dreamind like that? even when i calm down and i see my laptop, a pinch of fear in my stomach start like this is the reality?....please help me.

Microcosm
June 3rd, 2015, 12:09 AM
Have you tried certain calming methods such as meditation? I used to feel very uncomfortable about certain things like this and meditating helps you relax and look at the problems very objectively and without much bias. It helps a lot to come up with solutions. There are plenty of tutorials online if you ever want to learn how.

Alde
June 3rd, 2015, 11:15 AM
No but i will! and the bad ondes that come out of my parent sometime really doesn't help me!, its like, when they make me feel bad or a bad emotion , the crisis return... and its like everyday when i think about this, its become a little worse.

Can you give me the meditation that you use, your answer made me feel good! ^^ thanks :)

Microcosm
June 4th, 2015, 10:56 PM
No but i will! and the bad ondes that come out of my parent sometime really doesn't help me!, its like, when they make me feel bad or a bad emotion , the crisis return... and its like everyday when i think about this, its become a little worse.

Can you give me the meditation that you use, your answer made me feel good! ^^ thanks :)

Oh, absolutely! Sorry I didn't see your post earlier.

Here's something to get you started:
http://www.how-to-meditate.org/index.php/

I googled this site and it seems to give a pretty basic overview of the meditative process. Remember, a lot your success can depend strongly on performing your own research and finding new techniques. It really helps to explore your mind and emotions.

So, keep exploring meditation and see where it leads you :)

Personally, I love Buddhist meditation. It has been perfected over 2600 years of Buddhist tradition evolving so it's very refined.

Good luck :)

Alde
June 5th, 2015, 08:23 AM
Thanks you very much!! :)

Microcosm
June 7th, 2015, 05:25 PM
Thanks you very much!! :)

You're welcome. :)

If you ever need any advice, send me a PM and I'd be glad to help.