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Coldfire
May 31st, 2015, 05:49 PM
Hey..

I am so stressed with exams and my crush having said she won't ever like me back in the same way. My parents being unfair and treating me like a slave. I can't cope with my life anymore. Suicide has come to my mind so many times and it feels like now is my time to go. I have really bad depression and imt crushing on a girl i only see every two weeks. Llife is just so difficult. Im home edded and the few friends i had t school have drifted. Im self harming, smoking (friend introduced me) and now thinking of ending it.

I don't know anymore.

Thanks,
Cubity

Gwen
May 31st, 2015, 07:09 PM
Cubity, I think you need to just slow down a bit. It my seem like your life is falling down a hole that you can't escape (Believe me I've been in the same place), but being a teenager really, really sucks and there isn't a lot you can do about it. I don't know you enough to give you a heart to heart but I want to try and make you reconsider, suicide is not an alternative to life's problems. Crushes unfortunately don't work out all the time (Rarely if anything) and if your parents are treating you like a slave maybe you should consider a helpline?

I just really want to change your mind on this, I tried to end it earlier this year and that ended in a painful failure and since then I've gotten on anti-depressants and have had time to rethink about things. You are going through one of the most stressful times of your life where you are the most impressionable and when people start having expectations for you that seem to be leaps and bounds past what they've ever been. There are plenty of people and services that are out there to assist you during this time and especially if your home life is negative. It might sound cliche but I think life does get better once you finally gain independence and can leave home, so try not be rash about things and think before doing something irreversible. (I 'ran' out on my parent so I can't speak for helplines effectiveness personally, I found medication and professional help has helped me greatly in my life since my own events)

Edit: If you do just need someone to vent to, my messages are always open and their are plenty of places on the forum with people willing to listen :)

xXoblivionXx
June 5th, 2015, 07:44 AM
hey Cubity, I can relate a lot to what you're feeling. School always manages to stress me so much. but what's great is that once it's over you tend to feel much better. they say life gets 10x better after high school, I for one really hope that's true. and as I get closer and closer to my senior year I'm starting to believe it a little more.

Microcosm
June 7th, 2015, 05:29 PM
Cubity,

I think something that could help you in this situation is to trying abstaining from a lot of the desires and habits that you may feel addicted to. For instance, if you stopped smoking, that could give you a confidence boost. If you stopped desiring the girl, that might give you a confidence boost, or at least a sense of release from that desire of wanting someone else.

If you ever feel like there is no one there to help you in life, then sometimes it is best and most beneficial to you to actually abstain from desiring for another person to be there. I've always said that the key to depression is self-regulation and contentment with your life, but especially the contentment part. If you can train yourself to be content with any form of condemnation that life throws at you, then you will find that the happiness and satisfaction is boundless.

Best of luck, friend. :)

jssixna
June 9th, 2015, 04:37 AM
Hello Michael, how have you been since you posted this?
Luckily exams are temporary and a relief once they're over. Please don't think of suicide. Suicide is NOT the way to end your stress. You are young! You have a whole life ahead of you. Your life may not be how you would like right now but you have the ability to make it better for yourself in the future. As for your crush, it isn't meant to be. As tough as it sounds, she isn't the only girl you could ever fall in love with. Please abstain from self-harming and if you have more suicidal thoughts, I suggest you seek professional help. Anyways I hope all goes well for you Michael and please stay strong.

Coldfire
June 10th, 2015, 04:17 PM
Thants guys for all the kind words.

I still self harm a bit via smashing my head into the wall and cutting a tiny amount.
I still love the girl but i found out she is 17. Which has kind of sent me back to the heartbrpken depressed stage.

Thanks again,
Michael