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WanderingHeart
May 20th, 2015, 09:46 PM
Idk, I just decided to write this. I'm not done with it, though. Its based off of a story idea I had and all of a sudden I just started writing it.

Here's what I have so far:

Once upon a time, there was a king. Now this king was not like any other king. No, he wasn't the kindest, most noble, or anything like that (although he was kind). However, he wasn't wasn't greedy, selfish, or evil, either. In fact he was just a regular human like the rest of us. He made mistakes, he did good, he loved and hated.

Speaking of love, I'll tell you about the king's family. His beloved queen spent a lot of her time at the library. She enjoyed reading so much, she had read more books than anyone can count! She would read to her family at times as well, and they all enjoyed her luscious voice as she spoke. Her knowledge and perspective on life is what had made the king fall for her in the first place. They were happily married and ruled over the kingdom together.

The king and queen had 4 children. 2 girls and 2 boys. Their first child was their daughter. She was a fine girl, 19, very outgoing. She loved to go out mingle with the villagers, making new friends. The next two children were twin boys. Mischievous kids, they'd be pulling pranks on their older sister all the time! ("Oh, they're only kids!" The queen would say when their older sister would get mad at them.) And then there was their youngest child. She was a cheerful girl, always wore a smile on her face. This girl likes to copy her older sister, so she too was outgoing. That was me.

Now, what if I told you that we weren't actually a royal family, though? It felt like we were, though. To me, my father was a king, my mother a queen. My sister was a beautiful princess and my brothers were fun-loving Prince's. Our "palace" was actually just a cottage, but to me it was much more than that. The kingdom being our family. And it was a very happy kingdom, indeed.

But that was before the king, queen, and their eldest child had died. I was 11, and my brothers were 14.

They were murdered.

Well, I never left home after that. I spent as much time in my room as possible. My brothers - Yohan and Zohan - were the opposite. They spent as much time away from the house as possible. Our uncle took care of us, but he was always busy working. I had barely spoke to my brothers, as they were always gone. It felt like I really did have no family left. This went on for two years, until that very day came.

I had just recently turned 13. I was cooking dinner for myself and my brothers (who said they would be home tonight) and I had no intention of eating with them. I had planned to eat in my room, so as to not bother them. Uncle wasn't going to be home for the next few days, so at least I could have some time to myself (as if I didn't get enough of that...)

My brothers had come home earlier than I thought, just as I was setting up the table for them. We greeted one another, and after I had set down the food I picked up my plate to head for my room--

"Hey, Evie. Why don't you come sit with us?" Asked Zohan.
I turned to look at him, surprised at that request. "Are you sure?" I replied quietly. They both nodded, so I sat down with them at the table and began to eat.
"Thanks for the food, it tastes great," said Yohan.
"You're welcome," I mumbled. It felt weird to be sitting with them, eating and talking.

There was a long silence as we ate. I just wanted to run back in my room like the coward I was. It was obvious they wanted to talk to me about something, but what? And why aren't they saying anything?

Dinner was over. Before I could get up to clean, though, the other two had already begun to. "You just relax, sis," they told me.

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Okay so, what do you think? Be completely honest because I like when people are honest. If you hate it then you can say that, if you've got any advice you can say that too. Hope you liked it, though :metal:!

Microcosm
May 20th, 2015, 11:08 PM
I want to know what Zohan and Yohan are gonna tell her! cx

I like it. At first I thought it was gonna be a metaphorical fairy tale that would teach a lesson of some sorts, but then the parents were murdered. :(

I did like the whole "The kingdom being our family" thing. I thought that was pretty clever.

But yeah you should totally continue this.

Ridonks_CB
May 20th, 2015, 11:12 PM
I want to know what Zohan and Yohan are gonna tell her! cx

I like it. At first I thought it was gonna be a metaphorical fairy tale that would teach a lesson of some sorts, but then the parents were murdered. :(

I did like the whole "The kingdom being our family" thing. I thought that was pretty clever.

But yeah you should totally continue this.

Basically said what I thought. I really did get a kingdom setting feel and then it felt even warmer when it changed into the cottage. Keep it up :)!

Body odah Man
May 22nd, 2015, 02:38 PM
Sad, yet also pretty nice. Too early to tell, but seems promising. Brave of you to share your work

ally-mai
May 28th, 2015, 10:54 AM
Can you upload this (and the rest)? To this site or Wattpad or FanFiction.net or something. I really want to know what happens!

Melodic
May 28th, 2015, 11:59 AM
Wow that's really good. I'm dying to know what happens!

WanderingHeart
May 28th, 2015, 09:28 PM
Thanks everyone. I just finished the first chapter, I will be posting it in "Chamber of the Outcasts."